Idkwhatswrongwithme

Everytime I am with someone, and we are somewhere in a crowd, I feel as if it's my responsibility about what they do, as if I am the one respond for all of their actions (the bad ones only), and when the embarrassment arrives, idk some dark thoughts creep in, mostly about myself. That leads to the overthinking over and over, again and again.

Always thinking more and more before doing a tiniest bit of action in public. And I keep having dark thoughts, of running away, leaving my home, for all the wrong reasons like intolerance, even when all my loved ones have been is nice to me. It's like I just feel suffocated there.

P.S it's my first time here and so I have no idea how this works. Just wanted to know if there's anything specifically named for this, and how to control this. Thank you!

Everytime I am with someone, and we are somewhere in a crowd, I feel as if it's my responsibility about what they do, as if I am the one respond for all of their actions (the bad ones only), and when the embarrassment arrives, idk some dark thoughts creep in, mostly about myself. That leads to the overthinking over and over, again and again.

Always thinking more and more before doing a tiniest bit of action in public. And I keep having dark thoughts, of running away, leaving my home, for all the wrong reasons like intolerance, even when all my loved ones have been is nice to me. It's like I just feel suffocated there.

P.S it's my first time here and so I have no idea how this works. Just wanted to know if there's anything specifically named for this, and how to control this. Thank you!

I have a hard time keeping relationships together or even when I’m just talking to someone that might lead to a relationship I seem to always been “too much”. I have a habit of giving too much right away, caring too much, kind of like I wear my heart on my sleeve type of deal. It’s either an all or nothing. I don’t know how to be in that inbetween where you don’t scare someone away. I’ve ruined possible relations because of this, and then at a certain point my anxiety sets in so I basically feel as though they’re just talking to me because they’re bored. My 1000 questions start, me questioning there intentions start. I see a delay in texts or calls and then my mind automatically goes to “what have I done?, do they not like me anymore? They’re talking to someone else who’s way better than me” I’m hyper vigilant to them when they stop doing things or do things less and less. I got mad at someone because they didn’t awnser my call, we had a routine going so I was expecting a call or I would call them. They didn’t pickup yet I could see they were active on Facebook and automatically I’m sending a text telling them wow okay, if you didn’t want to talk to me anymore you could of just told me. I overreact to the smallest things once I sense a person is pushing away. Does this happen to anyone?

I’ve been having severe back pain and leg pains... and it’s been getting worse.... my doctors have been wanting to do an MRI and my insurance keeps denying it and they need it so we can decide what to do from there forward. I’m sad and frustrated because without that MRI. we may never know what’s causing my back pains and leg pains every day. I’m so tired of this. #Depression #Pains #backpains #legpain #help #sad #Idkwhatswrongwithme

I’ve always felt alone, rejected, unloved, unwanted, unheard, unappreciated. I always feel like I annoy ppl because of the way I’m disregarded. It’s like I’m invisible and try to be acknowledged, after failed attempts I loose it and now I’m crazy. I had not a good upbringing, no successful relationship, I have a history of choosing men who mentally or physically abuse me, currently feel like I’m in a emotionally abusive relationship ( seems very familiar from
The parenting I received growing up). I just don’t understand how and why my life theme is this. Am I screwed up with trust and emotional damage that people just treat me like garbage, or have I just really lost my last ounce of sanity? Im depressed when I feel I’m not being responded to,I get anxious when arguments happen, I always feel I will be left and I’ll be emotionally and physically alone. I’ve always had a bump and pimple squeezing obsession, over time it turned into hair plucking, and I’m always truly feeling like something is physically wrong or have head aces and stomach issues. I JUST WANT A NEW LIFE, I want to be someone different. The hardest part is outsiders like co-workers look up to me, WHY I ask myself I have 10% good things in my life, the rest is a train wreak