Intrusive

° " So Lastnight I Texted My Sister... Out Of The Blue I Told Her That I Missed Her... And Her Response Was To Me... Very Negative... She Was Like Are You Ok?? ARE YOU DRUNK TEXTING ME... Um Wth I Said No That I'm Sober Thank You! This Is Why I Really Can't Communicate With Anyone Anymore... They Litterly Make Me Feel Like I Don't Matter Or Exist's... It's A Huge Struggle For Me To Stay Close With Any Of My Sibling's... And Then I Told Her That I Was Just Trying To Call Just To Say Hello... That's It.. And Then They Wonder Why I Distance Myself From All Of Them... " ° #saddness #Intrusive Thought's #Depression ○▪︎●▪︎●○ S.K. •▪︎○▪︎●○

° " So I'm Trying To Enjoy My Day Off... But My Needy Boss Has Soured My Good Mood For The Whole Day... I Feel Like A Bad Employee For Not Wanting To Work For Her... But Why ??? " SHOULD I ALWAY'S FEEL THIS WAY... " I Alway's Fill In For Lazy People I'm Alway's Made To Stay Later... And People Just Tell Me Oh It's Just Extra Money... Yeah Okay GREAT!... I'm Only Making Money Just To Really Pay My Bill's... Let's Be Honest Here... I Don't Have Time To Treat Myself Or To Feel Relaxed And Happy... I Feel Trapped... I Can't Even Enjoy My Show's That I Have Missed.. Because I Feel Lazy ??? But These Are My Day's Off.. Sigh My Mind Is Litterly Making Me Feel Awful Today... " ° Sincerely, ☆▪︎☆ S.K. ☆▪︎☆ #Intrusive Thought's

° " I Feel Like I Live In A World Full Of Pure Hate... Human's Are Supposed To Be Caring And Understanding... But Now It Seem's Like Whenever I Do An Order They Place The Blame On Me.. For Thier Indecisive Mistake's And Not Taking Full Responsibility For Thier Order's... I Repeat My Order's Twice... And My Boss Is A Lost Cause... Today People Kept Changing Thier Order's.. And She Blamed Me For Thier Mistake's... Why Can't People Take Responsibility For Thier Action's And Decision's... You Don't Know How Badly I Want To Scar Myself... But I Can't Because It Will.. Become Another Reminder. Of Human's Being Hartless And Entitled To Bully Other's.. I Have Never Had These Issue's Now My Mental Health Is On The Brink. Of Me Wanting To End It... And To Be With My Son.. I Try My Best With This Job. My Leg's Hurt So Much Because I Was Born With One Short Leg... So It Extremely Hard For Me. To Move At A Faster Pace. My Pain Level's Are Currently Alway's 8 To 10 * Severe * And Painkiller's Won't Work... This Is Everyday.. The Dark Thought's Pop Up All The Time Now... " • #Depression #chronic Pain •Skaoi Kvitravn •

▪︎ " Today I Had A Very Rough Day At Work. Everything That I Do Is Never Good Enough... I Keep Getting Yelled At That I Don't Keep The Restroom's Clean... The Patio... The Salsa Bar Etc. And That I Keep Making Register Mistake's... When Is Enough Enough... I'm Trying So Hard To Keep It Together... But Sometime's I Just Want To End It. And Be At Peace. And Not Become An Issue Or A Bother To Anyone. I Have Worked 6 Day's Straight. I'm Just So Tired. I'm Constantly Worrying About How. I'm Going To Pay For Thing's. Since Covid. Took Me Out For A Week. I'm Currently Again Depressed. People Critique My Way Of Doing Thing's... All The Time. And All Day Today My Boss Wouldn't Leave Me Alone. Constantly Alway's Complaining About The Littlest Issue's. And It's Starting To Make Me. Even More About Doubting Myself And My Work Ethic. All Day Today Customer's Kept Changing Thier Order's. Once They Do That.. I Have To Go And Get My Boss To Remove Item's. These People Don't Want. And She Yell's At Me Alot For Thier Indecisive Mind's. I Can't Deal With It Any Longer It's Too Stressful."• Sincerely, ▪︎•▪︎Skaoi Kvitravn▪︎•▪︎ #Thought 's

× " Let Me Explain Why I'm Asking For People On Here... To Not Tell Me That... And To Think Of Other Thing's To Say... 1. I'm Working Hard On This Love Myself Thing Already... So Please Enough.. With Telling Me To... 2. I Think That It's A DEMEANING WAY... Sometime's How People Say It Without Really Caring... Like Oh Whatever Shut Up And Just Love Yourself 1st Before Anything In Your Life... I'm Pretty Sure Alot Of People Are Sick Of Hearing The Same Thing... 24/7... 3. It's NEVER The Only Way To Just Get Over Thing's In Our Struggle's... Everytime I Post Something On Here I'm Very Scared Of The Comment's That I'm Going To Receive... And Yeah Alot Of Them Are Sometime's Postive.... I'm Not Going To Post Much Anymore... Because Of This... " × Sincerly, ☆▪︎S.K. ▪︎☆ #Thoughts

× " Sooo I'm Pretty Sure Everyone Read My Last Post... About Work... I'm Currently Not Feeling My Happy Self At The Very Moment... I Got Asked Why Do All Afican American's... Act Soo Violent Toward's Other's... And My Answer Is I Don't Know... Because I Don't Act Violent And I Don't Cause Issue's... Everywhere I Go... I Don't Have Any Answer's As To Why People Act Like Everyone Is Out To Get Each Other... 2 Of My Co-worker's Asked Me If I Act This Way When I'm Off Work.. I'm Like NO! Just Because I'm Black Doesn't Mean That You Can Automatically Assume That All Afican American's Act Violent All The Time... And "Let Me Be Clear I'm Not In No Way Being Racist's.. But Enough Is Enough With The Violence "... I Was Raised Diffrent To Love Everyone No Matter What... I'm A Good Person With No Violent Tendency To Harm Anyone... So To Put Me With The Why Do You All Act This Way All Time... Hurt's And Is Not Fair To Me At All... I Don't Want To Go To Work Anymore At This Place... Because It Seem's To Me That They Don't Do Background Check's... Because We Are Severely Short Staffed... But Still Safety Should Be A 1# Priority... And I Never Considered Myself As A Black Person... I'm A Blxcian... Half Black...But Mostly Mexican..Because Idk Anything About Afican American Culture Background's... This Disappointed Me When My Co-worker's Asked Me This... Idk Why They Do This Or Act This Way... Ask Who Ever Raised Them... Not Me S.M.D.H.. " × #idon 'tMeanToOffendAnyone... ☆☆☆ S.K. ☆☆☆

× " My Dissociation Keep's Spinning... I Was Doing Well Yesterday. Sunday Thier Was A Tornado. I Was Safe...I Have Been Through It In The Midwest Before. But It Didn't Help My Anxiety Much When People Are Freaking Out Around Me. The Sky Wasn't Dark Yes It Was Windy Af. But Nothing Was Damaged Around Where I Stay. A Few Place's Were Damaged. I Went Into Work Yesterday. But I Wasn't Sure If I Had The Day Off. My Boss Was Like Oh Sweety I Gave You The Day Off. I'm Just Glad That My Co-worker's x My Boss Were OK And The Building Wasn't Damaged. I Came Back Home Having Anxiety Attack Even Though I Helped My Boss Set Up Tortilla Tray's... For The Day. I Felt Incomplete x And Incompetent That I Didn't Compelete Anything. So I Came Home And Cleaned 4 Room's. In This Loud House. And Washed The Dishe's x Vaccumed The Living Room. Now I Felt Like I Did Work. But Never Get A Thank You! At My Job I Feel Appreciated Atleast. × Respected...#Intrusive Thought's#ifeelworthless ☆ S.K. ☆

Does anyone ever get irrational thoughts which they know aren’t true but cause a lot of anxiety/panic like for example the air being poison or food exc ? Someone please help I feel like I’m losing my mind and I’m very scared

Knowledge will help you heal. Before you dive into recovery know that OCD can show up as :

1. INTRUSIVE THOUGHTS or IMAGES :
Such thoughts & images can be sudden or be a result of fear of a situation that you know triggers you. These can be better understood as associations that your brain makes that don't necessarily go hand in hand with your morals or beliefs or desires, which makes them all the more disturbing. They pop up in the head and halt your activities. These are often of sexual or violent nature or can be religious or contamination based. Ignore it like you ignore garbage on road.

2. INTRUSIVE EMOTIONS or FEELINGS :
When a feeling of distressing nature arises we most often tend to take it as a proof that whatever our brain is telling us is true but we have to keep in mind that OCD can cause false feelings such as false arousals or false attractions. Don't fall for this and just keep disregarding all that ocd comes up with, to keep you in the loop. It will feel very real and strong but upsetting because that's not something you want in actuality. It's like a bad manipulative friend putting bad ideas in your head with which you do not agree but these ideas seem very doable in theory. In practicality it's not so.

3. INTRUSIVE URGES:
You may suddenly feel an urge to do something that's extremely distressing for you or goes against your values and morals. All of this is because of your OCD and these are not your own urges. It can even feel like a sudden burst of energy or ultimate surety that you can do whatever the urge is but that's not true. OCD is making you believe it's something you want to do when what you actually want is the exact opposite, but you may not see it just yet since you are not in the right frame of mind.

4. INTRUSIVE INVOLUNTARILY MOVEMENTS:
These can be sudden movement of the hands, legs, head, hip, lips, eyes, tongue, groin and any other part that you can think of. When OCD manifests itself physically then it becomes very tricky to deal with since we just can't help but notice it and take it as a proof of whatever theme we are dealing with. This one really can make us question if what we are dealing with is OCD or are we just in denial. Let me tell you, all of these little involuntary movements that at the time seem voluntary, is infact a part of OCD and isn't proof of anything other than the fact that you have OCD. Groinal movements include getting wet, feeling a tingling sensation, erection etc. Movements of the mouth may be pouting of the lips or salivation. It can be blinking for the eyes. Head shaking is also a thing. Hands, legs and hips can move in any direction depending on the individual and the theme of OCD.

5. INTRUSIVE DREAMS:
As if it wasn't enough for OCD to torment us when we are awake, it also invades our sleep. In such dreams we find ourselves enjoying the act. Don't take it as an indication of something. If we dreamt of flying, would that make us grow wings and give us the ability to fly?

Not doing good! Head swimming and racing thought and can’t seem to crawl out of this drowning dark whole