dreams

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    Good morning, have a blessed day.

    ¸.🍂🍂

    ☼´¯)¸.´¯) Good Morning 🍂🍂

    (¸❀´ (¸.🍂🍂´´¯`•.¸¸. ❥ ☀️ Saturday Blessings 🍂

    Do you think the #dreams you have are things you want to come true? Or are they just things that are gonna come true?

    I had a werid dream last night about something.

    #TheMighty #MightyTogether #MentalHealth

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    I'm super excited!

    I'm going to be a preschool teacher! After working 10 years in the corporate world I'm switching my career back to teaching.

    Working in the corporate world can feel exhausting, overwhelming and honestly like I'm a human robot.

    I'm excited to do work that's meaningful and rewarding. These little lives are trusting me to guide and help them learn in a safe fun environment. As my mom would say, "I'm up for the job!"

    A big source of my unhappiness stemmed from not being fulfilled in my career. I believe that's why a lot of people are unhappy. Its what we spend most of our lives doing so we should do what we love.

    I love teaching, I love leading by example and I love guiding children who will one day rule the world. They are our future and the responsibility is mine.

    If you can, do it for your mental health, do it for your passion, do it for your life. Live the life you've always dreamed of.

    Switching careers doesn't take away my depression and anxiety but I understand I need to do the things that feeds my soul and exites me in a good way. We're only here for a limited amount of time. I might as well live it how I want to even if that means coloring outside of the lines a little.

    I want to know your experience about a sudden switch in careers. What are you passionate about? Are you doing what you love?

    #Teaching #passion #Children #preschool #Depression #Career #Anxiety #Love #dreams #god #MentalHealth #Trust

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    #Psychiatrist #dreams #MajorDepressiveDisorder #PTSD #AnxietyAttack #SleepDisorders #MentalHealth #Marriage

    Hi all! Hope everyone is well and safe 🙂 And taking good care of themselves.

    I really dont know who I can talk too except you all awesome people over here.

    I seen my doctor last week. He missed out a medication when I over to see him. When its the night, at around 8+pm, I was about to take my night medication and retire for the night, I found out one of the medication was missing and thats was my sleeping aid.

    There is no way I could get to him, expect writing to him. I thought he wanted to stop me for that medication as I am starting work next Monday.

    So, I just wrote to him and I went to have my shower.

    He wrote to me and called me from his clinic.

    He send the medication down personally to my home. He asked me whether my husband will throw a tantrum or get upsets if he does so. I said no ( this is as I have shared alot of my issues between me and husband with him. My age gap with my husband is 17 years. I am his 2nd wife)

    He bumped into my husband at the carpark. As he asked which block is mine located at. My husband then asked him is he my doctor. My husband said is okay, he can take it from there and he will bring the medication up to me.

    But my doctor insisted on walking my husband up to my unit and passed it personally to me.

    To be honest, I’m really touched by his gesture as it was coming to midnight then.

    I dont like and have the habit of troubling people when I can pick it up tomorrow from the clinic as I will be near.

    I told the doctor that I can picked it up tomorrow from the clinic. He said its alright and its not right for me to pick it up as its his fault.

    I have this dream of going through a very long and dimmed tunnel, with just a torch in hand. I had to crawl, for what I remember for around 10-15 minutes to the end. The one receiveing me at the end is a new doctor at his practise ( which is a female doctor ) she then helped me out from the tunnel and handed me to my doctor.

    My doctor then asked me can i hold your hand? I said yes of course. And we started chatting while we are spinning? ( sounds dramatic) and it ended up with me hugging him with a arm at his waist. He kept talking about all my problems which I am facing and he said he will take good care of me. While at the other end, his nurses all are staring at me with envy.

    I have issues with my husband, we are not intimate for around a year. He has problems lasting or rather getting it up. It really turns me off. I told him to seek professional help. He scolds me and said it is a shame to speak to a doctor and seeking help for that issue. I no longer feel close to him. I no longer hold or hug him. He disgusts me. I no longer wear my wedding ring on my finger- the reason i gave him, my fingers are bloated. I know i am not attracted as compared to me in my 20s. But at least i make an effort to dress and look good when i go out. He doesnt.

    I dont bring him and hang out with my friends. As most of my friends spouses are around my age range. My husband temper is getting from bad to worst and i dont know why.

    Only a few of my best friends have met him. As for the rest of my friends. They know that I am married, as for who is is my husband, still remains a mystery.

    Thank you for hearing me out ❤️ stay safe!

    #Psychiatrist #PTSD #MajorDepressiveDisorder #Anxiety #PanicAttacks #PanicDisorder #SleepDisorders

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    Seasons of Me

    At the foothills, torn from a fostering hearth

    Bending, Giving

    Thanks

    As I forsake all

    Youth

    Lust in Creation

    Dreams move

    Through

    Rich Forces

    Brushed

    From my soul

    Across canvas

    Destined

    Offspring

    My Heir

    To Nurture

    Sand

    Stone

    Bone

    Dirt

    Blessed Clouds

    Accept

    Blossoms

    Of Death

    Nurture

    Nature

    Wind Swept Hair

    Blankets of Time

    Sunsets

    Upon tin roofs

    I Trust

    Forest's

    Lush,

    Heavy skies

    Falling Stars

    The Unseen

    Love Gives

    Strength

    No Sacrifice

    Wailing Woman

    Never Lay down

    Reveal visions

    Brilliance

    Is

    Being You

    Resurrect

    Peace

    Pride

    Boundaries

    Ne'r

    Sacrifice

    Sans

    Cause.

    Open up

    Closeted Dreams

    Be.

    Being.

    Treasure

    Shineablaze

    Life

    Is the Color

    Of

    Living

    In

    The NOW.

    #Aging ,#seasonsoftime ,#womanhood ,#Nature ,#Youth ,#Death ,#Love #dreams ,#Now

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    I gave up my dream to my mental illness

    Don’t get me wrong, I’m happy that I’m recovering from trauma and that I’m getting better and metter at managing the symptoms, but what’s done is done you know? And I won’t be getting back the time I lost battling my own brain. And that sucks. And makes me mad. And also makes me feel like maybe I’m not worth what I think I am.

    I always dreamt of being a doctor. Psychiatry was my dream, how ironic is that?
    But I would have loved to be a surgeon as well and work with Doctors Without Borders cause I just love helping people that no one else is willing to help. Because nobody should be in the position of not having anyone to back them up. Nobody should be in the position of being helpless and alone. Nobody should be in the position of not being given a chance. Whether it’s because of money, race, sexuality or anything else.

    But then I found myself in that position. Or at least I thought I was. And I had to fight my mind to understand that wasn’t the case. But as I graduated high school I was not in my right mind and I most certainly didn’t have the strength to face uni. So I thought “okay I’m one year ahead anyway, I can lose a year of med school”. But then a year passed and I didn’t feel ready yet, so I chose another faculty. I gave up.

    I do like what I’m doing, I do think I will find my spot and enjoy my career, whatever that will be. But I’m never gonna be a doctor. And I hate it. I could go into med school now, yes, but I won’t cause if there’s something that I hate more than not achieving what I want is achieving it after others. So I can’t stand the idea of becoming a doctor at 32 at best (where I live med school is 6 years + 4 to specialize). Also my parents aren’t getting any younger, my father is 70 and retiring in October, my mum is 60, so I can’t put the pressure on them to financially support me till I’m 32. I just can’t.

    Problem is every time I’m at at hospital, every time I see something even remotely related to doctors, I’m reminded of my “failure”. Worst part is both my parents are doctors and my older sister is in med school.
    Would be kinda funny to see from outside I suppose.
    So yeah, I’m proud of myself for overcoming my problems and getting better, but all my life, every time I’m working, or anytime I see my parents and/or my big sister, every time I enter a hospital, every time someone I meet tells me they are a doctor, I will be reminded that I am not.

    And I hate it.
    #MentalHealth #Recovery #dreams #Medicine #givingup

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    Nightmares

    I have always had very vivid dreams and nightmares. They wake me up and usually I am replaying something that happened in the past. An event. A person from past times. I sometimes can look back on the previous day and find a link, but most of the time the memories are there for no reason I can figure out. #PTSD #dreams #Memories #Dementia

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    Do you experience vivid nightmares?

    Conor shares his experience with vivid nightmares in this article:

    When You Wake Up From a Nightmare

    Since nightmares are one of the symptoms of PTSD that I continue to struggle with personally on an almost nightly basis, his words resonated with me. Like he says, they are like weird disjointed movies that cover a myriad of random images and often make no sense. And more importantly, they leave you exhausted the next day.

    Do you experience vivid nightmares? Share your thoughts below.

    #Trauma #PTSD #CPTSD #Nightmares #dreams

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    "...give us this day..."

    Some call them nightmares,
    and some of them are,
    yet there are those that
    linger, try to stay,
    terrors that touch me,

    bringing up my cares,
    reopening scars,
    make me doubt facts.
    Blinking them away
    will not work for me.

    My choices matter-
    plant feet on cool floor,
    check color of sky,
    listen for birdsong,
    deep breaths, get up, stretch!

    The terrors scatter.
    Relieved to my core,
    I reject the lies-
    that I don't belong-
    looking to what's next...

    #dreams

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    Memories? or NIGHTMARES?

    I do believe very deeply in my heart that I was abused when I was a baby/kid, but how can I be sure of it? My traumas as an adult, my relationships with men, my I AM A GOOD BOY, my so many reactions in/to live. Therapy? yes, I have done it, and I keep exploring my journey. But I keep asking myself, am I making this up? I remember very vividly this person in my life, abusing me physically and mentally, and somehow I know I was just part of his own journey of mental health problems. But, did it happen? It can be very easy to say, forget about it, and live life by the moment that exists, but is not that easy. Part of me wants to find the answer, but then what? I am thankful for who I am, my amazing life, my I'm still here after 37 years with HIV, cancer survivor of 12 years, and living with chronic pain. I am single, and still looking for that partner in my life, I think I'm incredibly strong, powerful, special, smart, and simply open to getting to know someone. I remind myself each day to repeat BE HUMBLE, but also PROUD of who and what I am. #Survivors #HIV #hivlongtermsurvivors #MentalHealth #Hope #Sleep #dreams #PTSD