dreams

Has anyone ever dreamt of the same thing over and over, night after night? Have you ever tried looking up what it means to have that same dream? You should…. I found mine to be rather interesting…
For the past several months I have been dreaming of a house I feel somewhat uncomfortable in. A home I have never seen before but I walk around it like it’s my own. Some nights, when I dream of this place, the house is huge & beautiful. But there are some nights I walk around and see huge holes in the walls, broken pipes, boxes beyond boxes piled up… and I never even have the urge to fix any of it… I just stare at it all and then try to find my way around the hospital, always feel lost… how weird, right? Every morning when I would wake up, it never fails, I’m upset, sad, angry just over emotional and it sometime makes for a long long day. I decided to look up different meanings of different dreams you have… let me tell you, when I read what my dream may possibly mean, I was blown away. The big house that’s kind of falling apart is a reflection of myself. Which means, even though I know I am struggling with my inner demons in the real world, these dreams are telling me, “Get your House in Order.”
I am slowly but surely trying to do just that.
#innerdemons #dreams #Anxiety #Depression

I get very angry because I am frustrated at my own decisions. I beat myself up about the friends I kept and how they took advantage of me. I don't know why I am so angry when my mum is just trying to help. I think it's more to do with the fact I don't want these problems and I should never have to deal with them in the first place.

I kept bad company in my late teens and was getting into a lot of trouble. I need to remind myself that none of the decisions I made are my mothers fault - I need to start taking ownership of my own life. I was involved with the wrong crowd and I have to accept that nothing positive comes from that type of existence. I know it is difficult to come to terms with and I am deeply sorry for my decisions.

I want to stop getting angry at my mother and stop blaming her for all the negative events that were inevitably going to occur. I was not cut out for that life and my parents were trying to warn me before anything happened to me. Luckily I managed to survive without any major life changing events but I am left with the mental trauma that I am not equipped to deal with.

I need to stop getting angry and start living life on my terms. My time on this planet is not perfect and the decisions I make merely reflect an imperfect life.

#PTSD #anger #Depression #Sadness #Drugs #Addiction #Guilt #Friends #association #nobody #empty #assualt #Trauma #Pain #hurt #betrayal #lies #Truth #hate #End #time #Life #Happiness #dreams #Love #Positivity #Support #Love #Rage #control

I keep waking up from really strange/scary dreams the past few days and I’m not sure why. I haven’t had any recent med changes or anything. These dreams seem very real to the point where I wake up and have to remind myself that I am safe and not actually having those things happen in real life. Anyway just rambling to get my thoughts out.

Hi! Cecilia, I'm new to the group 😊

I struggle with nightmares and several awakes during the night, also usually having a hard time falling asleep (and falling asleep again).
It's been some years I've been struggling with severe thirst (some sort of dehydration, but the causes are still unknown) which worsen the nightmares and makes it more difficult for me to sleep for a decent amount of time and/or sleep it well.

There's also my last post on my profile explaing parts of this: didn't want to copy it and paste it ~

To anyone willing to talk and share, I'm here!

#SleepDeprivation #Insomnia #poorsleep #badconcentration #Nightmares #dreams #Sleep #thirst #Fear #Paranoia #Awake

When I was a child, I've always had troubles falling asleep. Because my mind was fully awake, when very young, but then mostly because of stuff I was deadly afraid of. When I managed to, I had very vivid nightmares and used to wake up a lot during the night, having troubles falling asleep again.

Each time I got in bed, I started trying not to fall asleep, because bad things would have occured if I wasn't there awake and aware, in order to acknowledge anything that was happening in the house.

I now fall asleep more easily, but I remember having only one nice dream; each night I have at least one nightmare, usually up to many more.

The nightmares are generally about threats or issues I should escape safe from or disturbing stuff in general. They're very long and articulated, implying plots and including a lot of details.

When I wake up, if my attention isn't suddenly drawn to something else, the dreams usually follow me during the day and it takes a big part of it for them and their effects to vanish away.

If there's anyone interested in sharing some thoughts about this, I'd be happy to.

It can be very stressful and I haven't slept well in ages. I'd like to find a key to understand this or simply tips to try and see if they could help me.

Anyone who can relate?

#Nightmares #SleepDeprivation #Sleep #sleeppattern #sleepissue #Insomnia #Paranoia #threats #dreams #fallingasleep #thirst #Stress #overthinking #worstcasescenarios #Fear #sleepdisorder #OCD #Anxiety #Obsession #Death #obsessivethoughts

I'm going to be a preschool teacher! After working 10 years in the corporate world I'm switching my career back to teaching.

Working in the corporate world can feel exhausting, overwhelming and honestly like I'm a human robot.

I'm excited to do work that's meaningful and rewarding. These little lives are trusting me to guide and help them learn in a safe fun environment. As my mom would say, "I'm up for the job!"

A big source of my unhappiness stemmed from not being fulfilled in my career. I believe that's why a lot of people are unhappy. Its what we spend most of our lives doing so we should do what we love.

I love teaching, I love leading by example and I love guiding children who will one day rule the world. They are our future and the responsibility is mine.

If you can, do it for your mental health, do it for your passion, do it for your life. Live the life you've always dreamed of.

Switching careers doesn't take away my depression and anxiety but I understand I need to do the things that feeds my soul and exites me in a good way. We're only here for a limited amount of time. I might as well live it how I want to even if that means coloring outside of the lines a little.

I want to know your experience about a sudden switch in careers. What are you passionate about? Are you doing what you love?

#Teaching #passion #Children #preschool #Depression #Career #Anxiety #Love #dreams #god #MentalHealth #Trust

Hi all! Hope everyone is well and safe 🙂 And taking good care of themselves.

I really dont know who I can talk too except you all awesome people over here.

I seen my doctor last week. He missed out a medication when I over to see him. When its the night, at around 8+pm, I was about to take my night medication and retire for the night, I found out one of the medication was missing and thats was my sleeping aid.

There is no way I could get to him, expect writing to him. I thought he wanted to stop me for that medication as I am starting work next Monday.

So, I just wrote to him and I went to have my shower.

He wrote to me and called me from his clinic.

He send the medication down personally to my home. He asked me whether my husband will throw a tantrum or get upsets if he does so. I said no ( this is as I have shared alot of my issues between me and husband with him. My age gap with my husband is 17 years. I am his 2nd wife)

He bumped into my husband at the carpark. As he asked which block is mine located at. My husband then asked him is he my doctor. My husband said is okay, he can take it from there and he will bring the medication up to me.

But my doctor insisted on walking my husband up to my unit and passed it personally to me.

To be honest, I’m really touched by his gesture as it was coming to midnight then.

I dont like and have the habit of troubling people when I can pick it up tomorrow from the clinic as I will be near.

I told the doctor that I can picked it up tomorrow from the clinic. He said its alright and its not right for me to pick it up as its his fault.

I have this dream of going through a very long and dimmed tunnel, with just a torch in hand. I had to crawl, for what I remember for around 10-15 minutes to the end. The one receiveing me at the end is a new doctor at his practise ( which is a female doctor ) she then helped me out from the tunnel and handed me to my doctor.

My doctor then asked me can i hold your hand? I said yes of course. And we started chatting while we are spinning? ( sounds dramatic) and it ended up with me hugging him with a arm at his waist. He kept talking about all my problems which I am facing and he said he will take good care of me. While at the other end, his nurses all are staring at me with envy.

I have issues with my husband, we are not intimate for around a year. He has problems lasting or rather getting it up. It really turns me off. I told him to seek professional help. He scolds me and said it is a shame to speak to a doctor and seeking help for that issue. I no longer feel close to him. I no longer hold or hug him. He disgusts me. I no longer wear my wedding ring on my finger- the reason i gave him, my fingers are bloated. I know i am not attracted as compared to me in my 20s. But at least i make an effort to dress and look good when i go out. He doesnt.

I dont bring him and hang out with my friends. As most of my friends spouses are around my age range. My husband temper is getting from bad to worst and i dont know why.

Only a few of my best friends have met him. As for the rest of my friends. They know that I am married, as for who is is my husband, still remains a mystery.

Thank you for hearing me out ❤️ stay safe!

#Psychiatrist #PTSD #MajorDepressiveDisorder #Anxiety #PanicAttacks #PanicDisorder #SleepDisorders

Don’t get me wrong, I’m happy that I’m recovering from trauma and that I’m getting better and metter at managing the symptoms, but what’s done is done you know? And I won’t be getting back the time I lost battling my own brain. And that sucks. And makes me mad. And also makes me feel like maybe I’m not worth what I think I am.

I always dreamt of being a doctor. Psychiatry was my dream, how ironic is that?
But I would have loved to be a surgeon as well and work with Doctors Without Borders cause I just love helping people that no one else is willing to help. Because nobody should be in the position of not having anyone to back them up. Nobody should be in the position of being helpless and alone. Nobody should be in the position of not being given a chance. Whether it’s because of money, race, sexuality or anything else.

But then I found myself in that position. Or at least I thought I was. And I had to fight my mind to understand that wasn’t the case. But as I graduated high school I was not in my right mind and I most certainly didn’t have the strength to face uni. So I thought “okay I’m one year ahead anyway, I can lose a year of med school”. But then a year passed and I didn’t feel ready yet, so I chose another faculty. I gave up.

I do like what I’m doing, I do think I will find my spot and enjoy my career, whatever that will be. But I’m never gonna be a doctor. And I hate it. I could go into med school now, yes, but I won’t cause if there’s something that I hate more than not achieving what I want is achieving it after others. So I can’t stand the idea of becoming a doctor at 32 at best (where I live med school is 6 years + 4 to specialize). Also my parents aren’t getting any younger, my father is 70 and retiring in October, my mum is 60, so I can’t put the pressure on them to financially support me till I’m 32. I just can’t.

Problem is every time I’m at at hospital, every time I see something even remotely related to doctors, I’m reminded of my “failure”. Worst part is both my parents are doctors and my older sister is in med school.
Would be kinda funny to see from outside I suppose.
So yeah, I’m proud of myself for overcoming my problems and getting better, but all my life, every time I’m working, or anytime I see my parents and/or my big sister, every time I enter a hospital, every time someone I meet tells me they are a doctor, I will be reminded that I am not.

And I hate it.
#MentalHealth #Recovery #dreams #Medicine #givingup