Hi all! Hope everyone is well and safe 🙂 And taking good care of themselves.
I really dont know who I can talk too except you all awesome people over here.
I seen my doctor last week. He missed out a medication when I over to see him. When its the night, at around 8+pm, I was about to take my night medication and retire for the night, I found out one of the medication was missing and thats was my sleeping aid.
There is no way I could get to him, expect writing to him. I thought he wanted to stop me for that medication as I am starting work next Monday.
So, I just wrote to him and I went to have my shower.
He wrote to me and called me from his clinic.
He send the medication down personally to my home. He asked me whether my husband will throw a tantrum or get upsets if he does so. I said no ( this is as I have shared alot of my issues between me and husband with him. My age gap with my husband is 17 years. I am his 2nd wife)
He bumped into my husband at the carpark. As he asked which block is mine located at. My husband then asked him is he my doctor. My husband said is okay, he can take it from there and he will bring the medication up to me.
But my doctor insisted on walking my husband up to my unit and passed it personally to me.
To be honest, I’m really touched by his gesture as it was coming to midnight then.
I dont like and have the habit of troubling people when I can pick it up tomorrow from the clinic as I will be near.
I told the doctor that I can picked it up tomorrow from the clinic. He said its alright and its not right for me to pick it up as its his fault.
I have this dream of going through a very long and dimmed tunnel, with just a torch in hand. I had to crawl, for what I remember for around 10-15 minutes to the end. The one receiveing me at the end is a new doctor at his practise ( which is a female doctor ) she then helped me out from the tunnel and handed me to my doctor.
My doctor then asked me can i hold your hand? I said yes of course. And we started chatting while we are spinning? ( sounds dramatic) and it ended up with me hugging him with a arm at his waist. He kept talking about all my problems which I am facing and he said he will take good care of me. While at the other end, his nurses all are staring at me with envy.
I have issues with my husband, we are not intimate for around a year. He has problems lasting or rather getting it up. It really turns me off. I told him to seek professional help. He scolds me and said it is a shame to speak to a doctor and seeking help for that issue. I no longer feel close to him. I no longer hold or hug him. He disgusts me. I no longer wear my wedding ring on my finger- the reason i gave him, my fingers are bloated. I know i am not attracted as compared to me in my 20s. But at least i make an effort to dress and look good when i go out. He doesnt.
I dont bring him and hang out with my friends. As most of my friends spouses are around my age range. My husband temper is getting from bad to worst and i dont know why.
Only a few of my best friends have met him. As for the rest of my friends. They know that I am married, as for who is is my husband, still remains a mystery.
Thank you for hearing me out ❤️ stay safe!
#Psychiatrist #PTSD #MajorDepressiveDisorder #Anxiety #PanicAttacks #PanicDisorder #SleepDisorders