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Letting go of what should have been.... #Depression #Anxiety #AnxietyDisorders #newbeginning #MentalHealth #MentalIllnessStigma #Christianity #Breaktobewhole #Stress #stressed #LifeLessons #Narcissiticabuse #itonlyhurtswhenibreathe
Do you ever think back on all of the events and experiences that make up your life and wonder what happened? One minute things are flowing smoothly and the next you realize your life is a story in which you don’t recognize any of the characters and the story line is definitely not the one you wrote. I have thought about this a lot… what happens when God breaks us? The word “breaking” can mean a lot of different things depending on your circumstances. Maybe it was the end of that relationship that always brought security or maybe your identity as you know it was shattered. Maybe the very thing that you took pride in as “your thing” was ripped away with such a veracity that you felt the shrill burning pain but didn’t fully realize the impact until weeks later. I can attest to all of these things first hand. The person I thought I was is not who I am finding myself to still be. Life has a way of changing us but God has a way of molding us. I would be lying if I said that I have always gone willingly because the honest truth is – I havent. The reality is I usually went with clenched hands, kicking and screaming complete with a bitterness that I am more than a little ashamed to admit to. I wanted the comfortable life that I had created. If the truth be known, I knew I could walk through “that life” with confidence and boldness saying all the right things without a second thought. But God….. being the loving Father that He is wanted better for my life…. so he wrecked those plans and broke me. As painful as the breaking is I know that in time the pieces that are being reassembled will once again seem whole. The cracks in mosaics become the very places that light penetrates through and the same applies with our lives. I remind myself that when walking in dark and unknown times it’s these slivers of light that begin to illuminate the way. So for now… I will stop, let my eyes adjust to the hints of brightness seeping in and slowly tread the new path that I am on. At times I am unstable and unsure of the way but I know the breaking always leads to restoration. This truth is what I hold on to.
