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Let’s begin again

I am excited for school to start again. I am in my second semester of nursing school. I absolutely loved my first semester and did way better than anticipated. I was in a school near my parents but i wasn’t successful in even the renewal classes. I passed but I knew I could do better and the way they were teaching just wasn’t fitting my learning style. I did some research and as luck would have it, i found two perfect schools for me near my extended family and am loving it. I am happy for an extended amount of time for the first time in a long time. I still have my bad days but i have so much to look forward to. I am making myself a nice home and friends that i feel like I’ve known forever. I was nervous being older than the traditional student but once I got started, I forgot all about that. Can’t wait for the semester to start again! #newbeginning #Happiness

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A Clean Start After Some Time in the Yellow Socks #newbeginning #Recovery #Depression #GeneralAnxietyDisorder #Bipolar1

The Yellow Socks... green scrubs... and a very difficult 24 hours. After coming face to face with the darkest thoughts of my life, I was able to make a call to a local ER and drive myself in for treatment. It was scary making that call. I was beyond morose as I drove and walked into the hospital thanks to feeling like a broken human.

Then something unexpected happened... After alerting my wife to my location and my decision to start an intensive treatment program, my wife wrote me a message that simply said, “I love you and I am proud of you for getting help.”

Wow... those 12 words lifted my spirits in ways I never thought possible. This is my partner of 17 years being kind again... the mother of my child being encouraging... my best friend standing with me... I thought she had completely given up on me.

I can say with all honesty that for the first time in 4 years, I can see a bit of the potential for my life and the unlimited value of being a part of this world if I can continue to gain strength and health.

That change in my thinking was my first slice of positive progress in a very, very long time...

Granted, that progress began as I spent 13 hours in “The Unit” under lock and key and being given the opportunity to speak with a psychiatrist at length.

I cant say I am all the way there but I am at least able to better understand that we are all different in our response to our world and the emotional triggers within it. The confidence is waiting for anyone ready to accept that we are not alone in this fight.

The many words of encouragement from complete strangers has been the most surprising, amazing, and uplifting part of this saga.

Whether from the words written on this site or the woman working at the gas station today that saw my wristband from the hospital and took the time to encourage me and give me a hug.

I feel like a new day is finally beginning for my family and myself. I now see light from trust being built into my own abilities to combat this apprehension of my mind and turn these experiences into strength.

Thank you to all of you that wrote to me and for being a part of my journey. I will keep you posted on the latest news.

What’s next??

Tomorrow morning at 9:30, my wife and I are going to court to review her request for a formal separation and a restraining order due to her concern for the safety of herself and our son during my treatments.

No matter what, like the message left for me by one of you... regardless of what is asked of me tomorrow, my son and my desire to be a part of his life is more important that anything else.

Deep breathe... Now... Let’s get better. ✌🏼 #ThankYou #PayItForward


#Lupus helps us look at a #newbeginning

It’s always time to open our hearts to new beginnings. Days are different, and in my dictionary, I can define my life as “before and after lupus” .
Moments are counted in different terms today. When I am feeling well, my hours are treasured, and joyful moments are truly appreciated.
When I am in a flare, I ask myself what I need to learn from my pain. What does the sense of loneliness and impotence are teaching me. What type of person I am becoming because of the disease, better or worse, stronger or weaker? Do I fight it, or give up?
Consider taking a break to write a love letter to yourself. List things lupus has taught you, and how you would like to feel better with what life offers today.
Journaling works well for me. It’s a way to check how I am evolving when dealing with my personal issues and how I behave differently today in comparison to the past.
There are things we control, and others we don’t. But with the ones we do, every smart step we make, can influence us and others in a positive way. It makes us feel #empowered, #happier and proud of ourselves, making our challenges smaller.
If we behave differently, the outcomes will change. Pause and check if the person you want are #becoming is aligned with your present actions. If not, adjust your course. There is always room to bring more quality to our lives when #livingwithlupus and to others, no matter how we feel.
A #smile on our faces, and treating others as you want them to treat us, will surely make us be happier and feel #stronger.
Yours truly,
Hope #LupusWarrior

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Diomira #MightyPoets #Selflove

In peace I rest for peace is who I AM
In beauty I soar for beauty feeds my core
In ecstasy I resound for I have touched the heavens
In wonder I revel for the veil has lifted

touched by stardust and sunbeams I AM the sparkle that illuminates the sky
And your eyes when you witness the majesty gaze in awe

But remember DEAR ONE my splendor only mirrors what you are and always have been

You are the shimmer reflecting from my rays
the colors that dance on the horizon
There is no distance between the place where you begin and I end
You are infinity wrapped in this moment and when you remember this you will begin to truly see

Until then marvel at the sunrise and sunset
They are my gift To YOU for your awakening


Letting go of what should have been.... #Depression #Anxiety #AnxietyDisorders #newbeginning #MentalHealth #MentalIllnessStigma #Christianity #Breaktobewhole #Stress #stressed #LifeLessons #Narcissiticabuse #itonlyhurtswhenibreathe

Do you ever think back on all of the events and experiences that make up your life and wonder what happened? One minute things are flowing smoothly and the next you realize your life is a story in which you don’t recognize any of the characters and the story line is definitely not the one you wrote. I have thought about this a lot… what happens when God breaks us? The word “breaking” can mean a lot of different things depending on your circumstances. Maybe it was the end of that relationship that always brought security or maybe your identity as you know it was shattered. Maybe the very thing that you took pride in as “your thing” was ripped away with such a veracity that you felt the shrill burning pain but didn’t fully realize the impact until weeks later. I can attest to all of these things first hand. The person I thought I was is not who I am finding myself to still be. Life has a way of changing us but God has a way of molding us. I would be lying if I said that I have always gone willingly because the honest truth is – I havent. The reality is I usually went with clenched hands, kicking and screaming complete with a bitterness that I am more than a little ashamed to admit to. I wanted the comfortable life that I had created. If the truth be known, I knew I could walk through “that life” with confidence and boldness saying all the right things without a second thought. But God….. being the loving Father that He is wanted better for my life…. so he wrecked those plans and broke me. As painful as the breaking is I know that in time the pieces that are being reassembled will once again seem whole. The cracks in mosaics become the very places that light penetrates through and the same applies with our lives. I remind myself that when walking in dark and unknown times it’s these slivers of light that begin to illuminate the way. So for now… I will stop, let my eyes adjust to the hints of brightness seeping in and slowly tread the new path that I am on. At times I am unstable and unsure of the way but I know the breaking always leads to restoration. This truth is what I hold on to.

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REACH #MightyPoets #newbeginning

You might be drowning In a tsunami of darkness and doubt
Reach for the light
Your mind might be plagued by an onslaught of fear and negativity
Reach for hope
Your heart might feel shattered and wounded
Reach for wholeness
Your spirit might seem lost and wandering
Reach for home
I have been there in that relentless storm of ache and suffering
I have struggled with unspeakable thoughts and self hatred
I know
I know
And still I reached for solace
I reached for reprieve
And always
A hand was there
For the universe is benevolent
You are supported
You are loved
And there will ALWAYS be an answer
Reach for it

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Believe #MightyPoets #newbeginning

No matter what you are facing
No matter how dreary dark or scary
You have what is needed to face the storm
You will move through this
The light will reemerge
And you shall once again
Feel whole
Feel safe
Feel loved

#Selflove #Selfworth #Depression

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YOUR TIME TO FLY #mightypoetry #newbeginning

You are not broken
You are not lost
You are not forgotten
No matter how loud and convincing the voice inside your head clamors for your attention
Insisting you are not enough, a failure, a mistake
You, my dear one, are a brilliant expression of Hope
And I am so sorry you were not told that you are a gift
I am so sorry that you didn’t get the tender support you needed
The affection your heart craved
I understand and I hear you
You are seen
You are loved
And in this moment you get to choose to either believe the lies the illusion the charade
Or stand in your glory and begin a new page
Right now begin to tell yourself what you needed to hear
Right now hold yourself the way you needed to be held
Right now give yourSELF the support and encouragement you deserve so you can be free of the chains of neglect and self doubt
Stand with me here
And say
I am beautiful
And I deserve to be heard
Spread your wings
It’s your time to fly

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#MightyPoets #newbeginning NO APOLOGIES

Who were you before you donned the mask of not enough?
Before you adopted the toxic poison of comparison that infects your vision
Who were you before you accepted an idea of who you are supposed to be and tried to stuff your limitless expansive being into their tight unrelenting frame
of desirable?
She still
Aching to be expressed again
And nothing they will ever feed you
will ever nourish your soul
For true sustenance can not be found in false illusions that others call normal
True freedom comes from your capacity to live without apologies as a radiant embodiment of YOUR spark, your light, your song, your knowing without waiting for validation or acceptance

Who were you before they told you no and you began to hide?

Be that now

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#MightyPoets #newbeginning IN THE STILLNESS

In the stillness
Beyond the clamor
The noise
The pressures
And expectations
In the pause
The space between
There you will find reprieve
The quiet voice
Of your soul
Surrender here and
Be restored
This breath is holy
Every moment a gift
Bask in the the glory of your own wisdom
Live in the glimpses
You truth knows no bounds
Your heart holds the key
You are whole
You are complete
Love every nuance of your unfolding
Every step brings you closer to HOME
#Depression #ChronicIllness