iwillwin

I know I’m dealing with heavy issues.
I know I can be difficult. I try my best. Always do. Sometimes I am so tired with the trying that I have nothing left to give.
It’s a constant battle, sometimes I’m ahead, sometimes I’m behind. But little things just set me off. A plate here, a mug there, a car on the road being a bit inconsiderate. I know I shouldn’t be affected as strongly as I am. But I start to shake and go downhill over silly things. I can see it. I can feel it. I try and stop it, but it’s like a football at the top of the hill. O hate myself for it. I’m awful to be around.
Thanks for letting me vent (!!)
Currently doing breathing exercises and trying not to flip out.

Just wondered what music people like to listen to when they are feeling at their worst darkest moments, and on the flip side, what songs inspire and encourage you to get out of those shadows and keep battling? I’ll start...
Shinedown - Breaking Inside really sums it up for me when I’m on that downward spiral, sometimes I just am tearful and angry listening to it. 2Pac / Eminem angry songs too. On my recovery/get better phases Shinedown - Black Cadillac, Whitesnake- Here I go again, Lana Del Ray song - Doin’ Time, and Destiny - Zero 7. Would love to hear some other people’s choices. Peace x

#MultipleSclerosis Hi everyone , my name is Karan and i live in India. I am 22year old male, i got my first attack when i was china for work.
I think i had too much alcohol that night and the next day i had a blurred vision in my right eye, i thought it was due to dry eyes so i didn’t care much after 3-4 days after coming back to india i realised that was vision was almost zero like i could only feel a movement of solids thats it, after MRIs and tests the doctors said it is a clinical analysis of MS they cannot confirm anything until and unless i have one more attack, i met 3 different doctors and got a very mixed suggestions 2 of them said that i should start my medications before the second attack and one of them said i should wait and he was very positive that i don’t have MS but i had lesions in the brain and blurred right eye vision. Since then i have been taking a very good vegan diet and it is very difficult to be a vegan in India but i do eat fatty fishes once in a while. Its been almost 5 months that this instance happened and i have been very positive since then, but at times i have the strange feeling that maybe i am having a attack. I am trying to fight and i am here that we fight this together.

Been a good day, I haven't cried, I haven't had thoughts. I went out this morning, only for 1/2 hour to the shops, but I went out.  I'm going to beat this one day at a time

Thank you to all who replied to my post yesterday. I didn't do anything silly, I fought the demon and won.  Today I've got dressed and I've been outside.  Only to the shops but the fresh air blew some of the cobwebs away.  I'm in a better frame of mind, I feel strong enough to beat it today.  No more suicidal thoughts this morning.  I wasn't up early enough to phone the doctors, but I will be tomorrow.  I think I need stronger meds.  Onwards and upwards
#feelingstrong #iwillwin #depressioncangetlost