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Little Victories

I’m actually pretty pleased with myself today.

This morning I went and had my flu and Covid vaccines done. Then I came home and I changed my sheets and bedding, followed by a lovely hot shower, and then I wrote two pages of my novel after being stuck with writer’s block for ages. I’m a little sore after all the movement, but I got through it. All over and done with now - I can rest. 😌😴

My GP is always telling me that I should celebrate every victory - even the itty bitty ones. I’ve made myself a lovely hot chocolate with a dash of Bailey’s Original as a treat, and I’m huddled up with my fluffy hoodie on now, all cosy like.

#chronicillnesswarrior #ChronicPain #POTS #AutonomicDysfunction #PosturalOrthostaticTachycardiaSyndrome #EDS #EhlersDanlosSyndrome #Jointpain #jointhypermobility #InterstitialCystitis #BladderPain #Diabetes #NAFLD #LiverDisease #BPD #BorderlinePersonalityDisorder #Depression #Migraines #sciatica #BackPain #littlevictories

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Cheers to the little victories we attain on a daily basis, like pushing yourself from the bed onto the floor, fighting the need to hop back in again. What is your little victory for today? #littlevictories


Aunts (plural) #CPTSD #relatives #boundaries #littlevictories #DDNOSUndiagnosed #CheerMeOn

Heard from two aunts in one hour, one from each side of my extended family. My father’s older sister who absolutely adores my parents, and my mother’s younger sister, who can’t stand them. Nevertheless I had decided to drop out of the lives of my entire extended family without a trace, but my aunt on my father’s side texted me and I recognized the number as familiar but had no idea who it was or that it was a family member. So I thought it was some old friend and responded and asked who, and then when she said who she was I couldn’t just ignore her after I just responded, so I was stuck talking to her, and I kind of decided I could trust her a little bit and told her a few things about having CPTSD and ADHD (zero details) because she always insisted that I wasn’t schizophrenic or bipolar, so I told her she was correct. And then told her in a very urgent and admittedly somewhat crappy way that I am finally in a safe place and doing comparatively well and if she ever wanted to talk to me again, then she was never to speak a word to anyone about our conversation, not ever. That as far as the rest of the family knows, we never spoke and she doesn’t know anything.

I feel bad like that was manipulative and dramatic and wrong but possibly I’m being hard on myself? I told her that if my parents ever heard about any of the truth about the first 34 years of my life it would either devastate them (unlikely, because they’d never believe me), or it would drive an even bigger wedge between me and them than already exists. She told me my parents love me “and that’s basically the bottom line” and I ignored it and then she brought up my primary abuser (my childhood therapist) who she also is enamored with, and I immediately but casually said I had to go.

My aunt on my mother’s side (who knows the real truth to a greater extent than any other biological family member on either side) texted me at exactly the wrong time (when I was at my most distressed, texting with my first aunt), and got an enormous text (so enormous it actually opened another window!), very firmly and unapologetically setting about 5-10 boundaries that really needed to be set, and telling her that I am a whole different person, and telling her exactly how I see things and that as far as I am concerned I am related to her but no other of our mutual relatives, and if we are going to discuss them, we need to ask for the eachothers consent first. And that I love her and want her in my life.

I cried pretty hard while I was texting with my first aunt, when she gave me her word that she would delete all of my texts and that she didn’t know and didn’t need to know any details. I gave her the benefit of the doubt. If she breaks her word and tells my parents (possible, but not probable), I will catch h*ll soon enough. I felt pretty confident with the other aunt.

Little victories. I might be a viable human someday, after all.

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Today has been good.

It feels good to write that down. Was it a perfect day, or course not but it was simply good. I achieved the simple tasks and was productive. Thats all I can ever hope for. Today is a big win for me.


I showed him my medicine. #ChronicPain #littlevictories

Last night, my husband made a comment that he thought I “just had a low pain tolerance”, and to borrow a joke from Pete Holmes, it was kind of like getting hit in the face with a living lobster. Probably 85% of the time that I’m in pain, I say nothing. I don’t want to be THAT girl. Then I say something, and I’m just a whiner. 🤦🏼‍♀️ I was telling my therapist about it, and she’s like “But do you want his help?” And I was like “No. I have a team of doctors I trust, I can make it to my appointments myself, I got this.” She goes “Show him the medicines you’re taking. Walk him through all of it. Let him really see it.” So I did today. “This and this are for stomach pain, but I only take them when I need them. These two are for headaches, I take this one always, but this one only when I need it. This is for overall pain. This is for my thyroid...” And walked him through the whole list. He tried making sense of the names (“There’s a lot of ‘Lines’. And this ones a ‘lol’” And I’m like “😬” Cause the names of the meds weren’t the point, but he’s trying), but eventually just stood there bug eyed. I’m like “Now do you see? 85% of the time I take all this on, alone, and in silence, and all I’ve asked from you is money for the co-pay. And then I say something and I’m a whiner.” “I don’t know what’s the matter with you. I wish you didn’t have to take all of that.” Victory? Moments like this are why I don’t think I’m being dramatic when I call my therapist a national treasure. 😆😆

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How do you celebrate summer?

Memorial Day weekend is almost here, and I’m getting excited for my weekend plans! It’s easy to get caught up in day-to-day life and forget about the little joys that make our days, and especially our summers, special. How will you celebrate, explore, or adventure this summer?

I’ll celebrate by boarding the boat with my parents, my brother, and my dog Fringe and setting sail!
#Summer #CheerMeOn #littlevictories #DownSyndrome



My anxiety has been getting so much better, and there are little victories that make me feel proud of myself as the days go on. I usually feel the need to run over and start a random (and kind of unnecessary) conversation with my friend when I see her (even if it’s across a crowded room and completely out of my way). I feel as if I don’t start a conversation, they’ll automatically not be my friend anymore. Today, I simply smiled from across the room and was able to walk up to class. I’m super proud of myself because that’s usually such a hard thing for me to do, and I KNOW she’s still my friend and that we’ll have more to talk about when I see her next. #Anxiety #gettingbetter


Good day #getlostdepression #littlevictories #iwillwin

Been a good day, I haven't cried, I haven't had thoughts. I went out this morning, only for 1/2 hour to the shops, but I went out.  I'm going to beat this one day at a time