lonelynotalone

so today some guy who I thought was my friend started calling me a slut a bitch and so forth and so on. All this because I didn't want to mess around with him. He told me that I was a whore and only wanted to use people for sex and all. Funny since I was the one who didn't want to fool around with him. So he even brought his friend into it calling my best friend on her phone ugly and a bitch and so much more. I took this to someone and I actually have a lot of people on my side, but this doesn't stop all the facts that I might have been able to prevent this. I need some advice?

Since my anxiety and major depression diagnosis I have been on a mission to tryibg understand my illnesses. I’ve been trying to learn how to function in a “normal” household. I’ve been trying to learn how to function around “normal” people. I feel like no one in my life, especially my wife, understands me, my illnesses or my inability to “feel better” to “act normal” or to “be happy”.

It’s so frustrating to be in the process of learning to understand my self and how to function in society. I truly fell like no one understands me and everyone is completely unrealtable. It makes me sad, even darker and very frustrated. #unrealateable #MentalHealth #lonely #lonelynotalone

So how's everyone's quarantine? I have been in quarantine since February due to my health decline... In and out of hospitals since April. Plus my fiancee lost his job due to coming with me to all my appointments and E.T.C. so we have spent alot of time together which has been good and bad well. But it's hard not going out as much and not being able to see my family cause they have their own health problems and we can't risk it... Plus "friends" have showed their true colors in this as well which hurts alot feeling kinda alone in my situation. Losing my job over missing soo much work due to my health, my fiancee loses his job, barely seeing family, even losing my grandpa from Alzheimers when all this started.... So it's been rough #alzheimers #lonelynotalone

#lonelynotalone I’m at my wits end, have never been so lonely. Because my other half sits on his computer most of the day. Or always has some reason to go out, and itll be something I can’t go to. He’ll go out, be gone hours then come back and after maybe 30 seconds telling me about where he went or something he’s back in the spare room on his computer. I only see him when dinners ready, sometimes he hangs around after dinner, not regularly though. It’s been going on like this for about 3 years. There’s lots more to my problem, I could write a book. It’s so confusing. He will give me lovely birthday cards etc with loving verses, really really lovely, and now and then he realises I’m feeling low and might say something nice, but I can only think of about 2 times that’s happened in around 8 years. And no he’s not having an affair. He’s got medical problems too. That stuff is long gone. And I’m not allowed to talk about that either. Anyway it’s all complicated, nobody has these same issues I’m sure but I just needed to get it out. There’s no nastiness, I just get left alone all the time, and if ever there is any conversation most of the time it’ll end up that I’ve said something bad, or just wrong, according to him. That can be like an argument when it happens and it happens too much really. Well tomorrow might be better I guess, but I say that to myself every night. I guess I just hope everything will be like it used to be, when it was good, because it was more than good. Now we’re more like roomies. And that kind of lonely is simply tearing me apart. It’s not supposed to be like this. We’re supposed to sit on the lounge, snuggled up in front of the tv, or talking, laughing, hugging, playing, just being loving. But that’s not where we ever are, not any more and it’s the saddest feeling being all alone when your special someone is just in the spare room not caring how you feel. Like, he’s ok so I just don’t matter. Nothing is about me. #lonely #lonelytogether And because he doesn’t care about me I stopped caring about me too, I’ve put on weight so it’s no wonder he doesn’t care I suppose. While I know I could have stopped that happening I also know if I’d been getting some loving attention, even a little, it wouldn’t have happened. I just didn’t see the point in denying myself treats any more. I’m not obese, just more of me now than there was. Anyway. That’s that, I’m glad I wrote some of my problem down.

I don‘t know where else to turn to. I feel so lonely right now. There are things on my mind I couldn‘t tell anybody, I don‘t even know how to put them into words. It‘s just so hard right now. Actually I have a lot of people surrounding me that love me but at the moment I don‘t feel it. I‘m sad and empty and so miserable. For today Depression‘s got the best of me.

#Depression #sad #lonelynotalone