losing a sibling

I'm here because I'm struggling with the sudden, unexpected death of my sister. (My only sibling) The only person who really knew how unhappy our childhood was.

#Grief
#LosingASibling

My uncle died last year in April. He was my grandmother’s brother. We were from different cities and saw each other like 2 or 3 times, but he adored me because I was one of his favorite nieces so he always complimented and supported me, calling me “princess”. I just loved him ‘cause he was such a good and understanding soul... When I found out that he’s gone, the news just teared me apart. And now, after almost one year, I realize that I can’t move on because whenever he comes up to my mind, I start crying and hardly can stop. I don’t know if my anxiety is the cause of this but I just want someone to help me... 🥺 #LosingASibling #Death #Anxiety #Loss

#CheckInWithMe

When did names become so powerful!? Why is it-- how is it that my own can make me feel so good and just hearing hers can make me cry!? How can a name feel like a knife in the stomach?! And saying that name! It's gut wrenching and rips my heart into a million pieces all over again! Why?!

I lost my sister 7 years, 4 months and 21 days ago. It ripped me apart and traumatized me for many years. But I have begun to make peace with what happened and am able to talk about it and her without crying. Yesterday I was casually talking with my boyfriend and I said her name. Not her real name, but the nickname I always used to call her. The name I haven't said in 7 years, 4 months and 21 days. At the time I just kind of blinked and thought wow. But now, today, its ripping me to shreds. I don't know what to do!! And it just hurts so bad. I just want to scream and/or cry!! But I can't do either.