A little weekend laugh 😉
A little weekend laugh 😉
Its been almost a year since I banished her out of my life.
I cast her out like she was discarded rubbish. I often wonder if she deserved that.
Was it really that bad? Was she really that bad?
I miss her. I miss the comfort she bought. I miss her presence. The way she made me feel so in tune with my body. How she intensified every emotion I felt.
I dont want her back. She was destructive. She broke my soul with her venomous words, her twisted dreams & poisonous thoughts. I was broken when she was near.
But, I loved her. I needed her. I still need her. Without her I am not whole. Now she is gone a part of me feels lost, trapped in a bleak void forever falling further and further away from me.
The world seems scary without her. I'm not sure who I am or where I belong. Life is less colourful & more stagnant somehow.
I want to reach out to her, feel the bitter sting of her impact on my life once more.
I want to know that she is ok.
But, I know that she is ok. For she is my PMDD alter ego. I am her and she is me.
AITA? My Comfort vs. My Boyfriend's
AITA? My boyfriend and I have been together for almost 30 years, and I've wanted out of it most of that time. When we'd be in his car when we'd go out and he had the air conditioning too high for me, I'd be freezing, which increased my need to pee, made me more nervous and anxious, and if I was on my period, I'd get cramps, often really bad ones. When I'd ask him to turn the air conditioning down, he'd say he was driving, and he needed the cold air to stay awake. That's reasonable, I guess.
When I'd be cold at home, however, he'd always tell me to "put on more layers." He preferred cooler temperatures to warmer because, as he said, "You can always put on more layers, but you can only take off so many." I found that flawed, because I thought it would be fair to take turns or equally have times when he gets to be more comfortable, and times when I get to be more comfortable.
Now, in the motel, he usually has it too hot. Right now is one of those times. He says in a very dominant voice that he isn't going to turn up the air conditioning (I'm the one who's usually too hot these days; I'm in menopause, and I'm morbidly obese), and I reminded him he's always said when it's too cold, you can put on more layers. He told me I could take off a layer. I'm only wearing a nightgown and incontinence underwear. Naked, I would stick to myself, and my OCD wouldn't like that. Am I wrong for expecting him to put on more layers, so I can be comfortable? It's hard to sleep when I'm hot. #Anxiety #Depression #OCD #menopause #Controlling #hotflashes
Need to vent
Happy new month to all!
Things I need to remind myself of…
Happy month of May 🌻🌷🌹🌸
Happy Friday and hope Spring is treating you well!
Can anyone relate to this. I have had migraine since the age of 11. At 38 I had a partial hysterectomy, and my migraines became chronic. I have had botox, nerve block injections and hundreds of different tablets, all of which have been ineffective. I am now 48 and have been menopausal for about a year. My migraines have now become daily. I have bipolar disorder and the effect this is having on it is immense. I am rapid cycling and in the last year I have had 4 hospital admissions - more than I've ever had in 15 years. My psychiatrist just says that mental health symptoms peak in women in their 40's and 50's, but he does not acknowledge that I'm in severe pain neither does he acknowledge the connection between my physical and mental health and the menopause. I'm waiting to see a menopause specialist so I can start hrt, but the waiting list is a year. I'm at the end of my tether #menopause #chronicmigraine #ChronicPain #MentalHealth #BipolarDisorder