I thought I was worthy of his love; but I guess I was wrong
this picture is raw and real.
I stayed up late last night, balling my eyes out, forever missing him. My boyfriend of seven almost eight months broke up with me, a week and four days it’s been since, and it honestly doesn’t get any easier or so it seems. I know it will eventually. It just hurts so bad. Everyday since the breakup I’ve been trying to keep myself busy, because it’s getting hard to barely even function. Thoughts constantly run through this wild head of mine. I constantly think it’s my fault that he broke up with me. Like I’m at fault. When it came to him I was very obsessive. I would call him and message him constantly, wanting to know when i would be seeing him again; or if he was on his way to come get me. The relationship was great in the beginning, but man these last couple months took a toll on me and my mental health. It got so bad that he wouldn’t answer my messages or my calls, but with my history it was understandable to a point. He eventually blocked my number completely. Monday he had promised me that he’d see me, but he had to help finish his cousin move. I was only trying to call him to see when he’d be over but he wouldn’t answer of course, and I panicked and sent myself into crisis mode. He ignored me the rest of the day and night. It wasn’t until Tuesday afternoon where he talked to me through messenger and pretty much told me that he couldn’t put up with me anymore, and that him only seeing me once a week was getting to be too much for him. As I reflect on this now I realize that this isn’t how I want to be treated. I don’t want to be begging for someone’s love or just for them to even want to hangout and spend time with me. I deserve someone whose understanding of how difficult I can be but still manage to put the effort in to work on it and to stay. #Breakups #currentlyhurting #Depression #doesitgeteasier #missinghim #heartbreak