Needhope

Reaching out for supports but please keep me in your thoughts I’m going through a really hard time. Appreciate any prayers love or good energy sent my way. Thank you.

#Crisis #Anxiety #depressed #Needhope #ThankYou

What do you guys go to when you’re feeling hopeless?
#ChronicDepression #Needhope #Anxiety #lonely

I just needed somewhere to write this down
Today, i called home, like i do most days. Today, i mentioned, a hypothetical situation, that my mother didn’t agree with. I am currently in debt, but have been advised there’s a legal way out. Because of the debt, i shouldn’t even be thinking how i am, and i never learn, make one bad decision after another
Then she brought up when i was in hospital earlier this year, and requested no information be shared with her about me, apparently that makes me a horrible person, even though i have explained plenty of times why i chose to do this.
She and my sister, came over to where i live in march, and opened my post, despite me asking her not to. That’s how she found out about the debt, and then, apparently i treated her and my sister like sh*t, and it’s wrong that i think it’s wrong that she opened my post
My, “Attitude” stinks to high heaven apparently, i don’t give a f**k about what she has going on in her life, i’m selfish and self absorbed
I am putting way too much energy into trying to get out of debt, by not paying it, i borrowed the money, so i should pay it back
Apparently, being in a family, means being in each other’s business all the time, and because i don’t think that, i’m like, wrong in some way
It was then suggested that we have no more contact, not by me, this isn’t a relationship, which i agree with, at the moment, it’s like one beg long argument
I did ask for money, on social media, back in april/may when i was homeless, and that’s embarrassing for the family, if i have no respect for myself, then think of the, “consequences” for the rest of the family
I just feel flat, sad, hopeless. The biggest disappointment ever in the history of disappointments
I feel like i was born 3 months premature and it all went down hill from there

One day I’d like to get married but I’m scared that because of my depression and anxiety I’ll never be worth the extra effort to somebody. Are there really people out there who will look at you beyond your illness? Who will understand it? And give you what you need? Someone who will love, care and fight for me. And won’t let me push or scare them away #Depression #Anxiety #Foreveralone #Needhope