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What's New in crisis


988, as you know, is a new number to call, in the United States, if your in crisis. We are getting closer to the 1 year mark of this number. I have a question for everyone Do you feel it has helped or do you feel, it creates too much confusion, when knowing, which numbers to call, when in a crisis? I would like to hear your take on this. Also, if anyone has used the number, what was your experience like? Looking forward to seeing some answers on this, in the comment section. #Crisis #MentalHealth #Advocacy

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Crisis Mode

One minute ago, I used the last of my drug of choice that I had in my possession. I am trying to make good choices – or rather, healthy choices – in my life. This past weekend has been a [string] of unhealthiness, one choice after another, starting with and stemming from, acquiring said drug of choice. From Friday, until this morning, Monday, I was sober for less than an hour. Even while sleeping, I was intoxicated. Surprisingly, that is the worst of it. Laziness and poor communication take over the rest of the weekend. Yelling at and with the parental figure with whom I reside and doing next to nothing productive.

To say I enjoyed being intoxicated the whole time I was intoxicated, well, would be a lie. It was not fun or comfortable the whole time, not even for most of it. I didn’t like how I was feeling but didn’t like what I got when I changed it either. I tried to change it with chemicals, food (or lack of), and shopping. Anything that would change the torture my brain was putting me through. As much as I wanted to cut my arm or leg and let the black evil flow straight out… as much as I craved it, I managed to not. Not do that. But that craving did not dissipate even when I was sober for a part of the day today. I need release but I am trying to make healthy choices in my life. Healthy does not include self-harm or drugs, that’s for sure. But then, replacing those with food and shopping is not a decent choice, either, and straight up taking away these things I rely on and throw them out the window with no replacement in sight is not smart, either. So the real, healthy question is… what is it going to take to replace self-harm and drugs, to a point where they go away for good? A final goodbye to them and hello to… what though?

Coping skills are some of the most annoying things in the world to try to learn, when you were never taught them and only gathered the maladaptive ones into your arsenal.

For years, twenty to be exact, I’ve been in and out of therapy and psychiatric offices, with frequent detours to the psych hospital mixed in. And over those 20 years, I have gathered at least the knowledge of many other coping skills. Using cold temperatures to snap my brain back online, using video games or books or artwork to pull my attention off the unhealthy urge and redirect that attention to doing something else, using my five senses to connect my brain back to my body, and to the world around me, using the care and concern of those around me to build or even maintain my motivation to only make healthy choices, while checking the facts of the situation. I could keep this list going for quite a while, but only because I am not in crisis mode right now.

If I enter crisis mode, I love all connection to the healthy skills I know, deep down. That knowledge disappears. Not completely, not anymore. Every so often, an insane idea will plant itself in the dirt on the ground of my mind and grow and sprout into an inkling of an urge, and spring up, budding motivation to try something different. Something healthy. Something that may actually work. Something that could genuinely help. And help longer than the short term, immediate gratification of the maladaptive coping skills to which I usually resort.

The biggest thing I can say, after twenty years, is do not give up, do not give in, and the fight will be worth it, in the end. I would love to be able to say that it will never hurt and you will never struggle. I can say, making the healthy choice each time you are able, makes the healthy choice less difficult each subsequent time.

So to practice, what I preach, I am sitting in my room, writing pen to paper, in the glow of a video game streamer, as they run for their life in an asymmetrical horror survival game. The sound of their Aussie accent tantalizing the little hairs in my ears, attempting to draw my attention away. And they make it out alive, so I think, tonight at least, I will make it out unscathed this time, as well.

#cope #copingskills #Crisis #crisismode #BPD #Depression #habits #Healthy #Selfharm #se lfinjury

13 reactions 3 comments

Really overwhelmed and going through a mental health crisis.

Reaching out for supports but please keep me in your thoughts I’m going through a really hard time. Appreciate any prayers love or good energy sent my way. Thank you.

#Crisis #Anxiety #depressed #Needhope #ThankYou

28 reactions 14 comments
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Throwback reflection

There are times when what has been becomes suddenly much more real then usual.
Not as a flashback - they're definitely different - but more like a realization that what's in my memories, in my patterns, in my body and mind has really happened, some time ago in my life.

What surprises me the most is:
I'm not fine, even though I'm better than in previous months and years, but, the hell, compared to before it's like I'm in Heaven.

It doesn't bring me the positivity and mood switch I might expect, it weights the same, most of the times, but it surely helps me redimensioning the whole picture.
I'm grateful, overall, for one thing: now, when I have my crisis, they're still bad and, sometimes, worse than other times years ago, BUT they're crisis: they happen from time to time. (I'm not talking about being on low mood; to me, before, it was much more than that: tentacles slipping out of my head trying to choke me and smash anything inside and around me).
I can feel my mind clean, and, yup, I'm now crying, all of a sudden.

I'd never wanna go back to before.

A week ago I was writing a post I've never shared and, when recalling the bad effects the thing I was talking about had on me, I realized the list was very very long and very very painful and messy.
What makes it often difficult for me to comprehend my patterns and problems is that I tend to hide them, and then forget about them, over the years.

Thing is, there has been terror.
I don't wanna include the details, because I'm aware that for someone they could be not nice.

I shared this picture (search for Riftress on Pinterest, if you're interest - I really like these works) because it is one of the pics I saved back then.
Something have sucked up my own self from my life and I think it was the exhaustion from that period.

Crying helps me too.
If now I'm crying, it means it really has been hard.
Since I tend to hide and minimize, since people shared their issues with me and rarely listened to me, always ignored the signals I was pointing out and since things for me often changed - environmentally speaking - I tend to forget.
To me, now, it feels like I'm based on a void past.
It doesn't mean I'd wanna linger on it: just that in order to understand why I am the way I am today I need to recall.

Times like this one, though, makes me wanna go back that before and erase everything. Why it had to be so damageful.
Again, though, I tend to hide: none really witnessed in person any free expression of my mental state, so, then, it feel more righteous to minimize it. This confuses me.

Though I think it's not fair to compair: the same trauma can have different outcomes on different people; that's why I think crying is helpful -> it spots out the fact that what I'm feeling and thinking about - recalling - has really been a hardship for me.

But it seems impossible that all the dark lump has really left. Did it?
Instead of feeling and expressing itself in dark and full of --- ways*, my mind's just flat. That's the new pattern, I guess.
I've been backfired.
* I don't really feel at ease sharing details, again, but I don't know how to express it.

I still have issues to work on, sometimes - often - I just can take my mind anymore, I often have no energy to live my life, but sure it changed. Time heals.
And I've understood myself and other people better, in the meanwhile, which has been another fundamental turning point.
And I can't express how grateful I am whenever I get to become more aware then before. I love understanding.
So - I still can change and for the better.
There's and I have hope in it.

#Reflection #throwback #Trauma #Crisis #time #Understanding #past #Memory #Pain #cry #Life #mind #pattern #backfired #Healing #Awareness #HealingProcess #exhaustion #Monster #illness #MentalHealth #growing #growth #Present #Hope #change #Grief #Energy

22 reactions 5 comments

I don’t have many friends and I’m really lonely I used to message my partner all the time and I guess became codependent would anyone be my friend?

Hi sorry I’m going through a tough time everything in life is wrong right now and I’m just trying to survive and start from zero again. Would anyone be ok being friends or checking in on each other from time to time ? DM Chat or comments ? Thank you if you don’t mind, I’m really struggling and need to reach out for help,

Gonna do my best to check out counselling if free or something I could afford as I’m unemployed and struggle to keep a job. Thank you for any kind words or anyone who doesn’t mind checking on each other everyone now and then. It would mean a lot during this hard time. Thank you everyone, and any help really means so much. #Selflove #Trying #Pain #inpain #Crisis #Tryinghard #hurt #anger #disappoinent #Unexpected #breakup #notcopingwell #ThankYou #lonely #friend #praying #hopeallworksout #ThankYou #reminders #Anxiety #Trying #future #Fear #Pain #Depression #help #self -help #needtobestrong #counselling #reachout #cheerup #DistractMe #needafriend

19 reactions 10 comments

Over the summer, I was sent to the hospital over a mental health crisis. It's been a few months since, and I'm still bitter about it. I'm mad at the people who called the rangers. I'm mad at the rangers, who gave me no option in the matter. I'm mad at the hospital, for violating my privacy in my most vulnerable moment.

All this led to a bill of 3k (at first it was more than that, but insurance paid for most of it). Now I need to pay for help that I didn't want to begin with, and I have no method of paying them back. I'm not made of money, so it's not like I can magically pull 3k out of my ass and say, voila. I'm mad at my mom, because she said she was going to help me, but now she's ghosting me whenever I bring this up.

#Crisis #Depression #mentalhospital

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Just trying to make it

I've been in a crisis unit for 3 1/2 weeks for my anxiety, depression, and PTSD symptoms. Today I discharge but I am so not ready. It's a special night though. Several months ago my son bought a ticket for me to see Carrie Underwood in concert with him. A birthday present. There is no way I'm going to miss this concert with my son. I have a couple Zoom appointments early but then I have to pull it together. I'm hopeful I can box everything up and put it on a shelf.

At 5:15 I woke up with yet another headache and a boatload of anxiety. My bed will be saved for me and I can come back Friday if I want but this has been really hard for me to make sense of and is creating a lot of angst.

I really, really need to calm down. I hope the Ativan helps but it's not a cure-all. Looking at my "It's OK Not To Be OK" pillow, I'm thinking I can concentrate on:
"There is nothing wrong with having anxiety,"
"I allow myself to feel anxiety,"
"Feeling emotions is part of the human experience," and
"I trust what I'm going through."

As I'm sure you know, it is all easier said than done. I want to have a good day so bad and I know we can control that in our own minds but sometimes it doesn't work (hence, a trip to the crisis unit).

I guess all I can do is take it five minutes at a time. It's SO hard to dial it back that much.

#Crisis #Anxiety

4 reactions 5 comments

Doing poorly

I have been in a crisis stabilization unit for a week. My depression is could fuel the night sky, and anxiety right along with it. My PTSD symptoms are high as well. This time it's definitely a crisis.

I meet with my doctors over Zoom so I still have them but everything is slow going. It was a mess this weekend as I continue to be tossed into the depths of hell. I got a last minute appointment with my psychiatrist today so we'll see what he has to say.

#Depresion #CPTSD #Anxiety #Crisis

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9-8-8 crisis hotline launches

With the launch of the new 9-8-8 crisis hotline, 24/7 confidential support is now available for anyone in suicidal crisis or needing mental health distress support. Simply call or text 9-8-8 to be directly connected to a certified crisis counselor.

While there are some questions and concerns regarding efficacy of crisis hotlines, the implementation of this hotline indicates a shift in awareness regarding the importance of mental health and the very real issues surrounding the need for more mental health resources.

How do you feel about the new hotline? Share your thoughts below.

#Trauma #PTSD #CPTSD #Crisis #Hotline #988 #SuicidePrevention #help

This New '988' Crisis Hotline Should Make Mental Health Care Easier Than Ever

"Quick, confidential counseling can be incredibly important."

Waking up anxious

I've been out of a crisis stabilization unit for about a week and a half. I've been walking on a balance beam trying to keep things in check but haven't been doing too bad. Sometimes the anxiety really hits though. It's usually in the evening but this morning I woke up with it. This all-encompassing anxiety that I feel almost more physically than mentally. Like my body wants to jump right out of my skin but can't.

I didn't get enough sleep last night but it looks like this is it for me. I hope today gets better.

#CheckInWithMe #Anxiety #Crisis #Depression #CPTSD