parentsfightmentalhealth

No matter how I feel each day, I find my strength and get up, face the world. My mind, my voices try and stop it but my heart knows I have to keep going for my son. I smile, I put on that face on as everything is OK. Pretending is tiring in itself. I'm broken, my heart and my soul are too. My wings feel burnt from every fight I tried to fly through. I'm tired in pretending. I'm tired in searching for the light at the end of the tunnel. But some how I want to keep going. I want to fight and keep my head up high. No matter how my overthinking mind and my broken heart is feeling. This is because I'm stronger than I think I am. The self doubt, the looking in mirror I'd disguise. Nooooo I'm much than this..... I'm going to be who I want to be. Fly with my broken wings. Show everyone I can..... I will be strong! #mentalhealth #BPD #parentsfightmentalhealth #Mindfulness #Anxiety #pstd #Borderline

Since I was a teenager, I never accepted who I was. The little sicilan girl who immigrated from sicily. As my dad has a job in England. I was shy, tubby and kind of a loner. I was a follower rather than a strong person. Searching for love by others and expectancies.
I looked in the Mirror time again and again, wondering why I can't be like the other girls. Beautiful and out going and of course popular. Truth is I didn't have the courage to do so. My home life wasn't bad but there was a loy culture vibes with it. Dad worked and mum must stay at home. I just didn't like my dad manpulative and take control my mum's life. She was a moving shadow and only did what she was told. I remember standing there my dad at head of table mum serving 6 of us food on plates. Not once he stood up helped her. Cooked. Take the weight of house work off her shoulder. 4 children and a husband, who'd go out in the evening to hook up with single ladies. Leaving mum to alone like a servant. I wonder if my mum ever looked in the mirror and wanted to be someone else.....
Letting go of what you should be of the eyes of others to the person you really want to be? !

The past to the present.....
Mum is divorced from dad. Has a home back home in sicily. Her home. The one she earned with when she began to work for herself. Dad disliked her change. Mum disliked his cheating, his lies and of course his controlling ways.

Me well I'm following her foot steps. I'm being me. Be who I want to be. Love me. Mum is my role model. She fought through what she believed what she had to be. Truth is.... You need to let go of what others portray life should be as. Make life who you actually are, not someone else's #BeStrong #parentsfightmentalhealth #loveyourself