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    Accept YOURSELF

    I was reading here on the mighty about acceptance and it got me thinking....overthinking in fact, so much so that I wrote a poem about it. It’s not great but I hope it gives comfort to some of you who feel like you can’t be accepted for who you are.

    Accept yourself

    Acceptance and love people claim comes from above..

    Yet when it comes to it is “acceptance” in most instances real?

    Is it some fictions phrase or is it something YOU feel?

    Is it something you really need from anyone else?

    Or is it something we can give to ourself?

    Can you come and put this on for size??

    With most people they say they “accept” you but that’s only lies..

    What then is true acceptance?

    Is it love? Unconditionally provided to you? it something else worth working to?
    Give YOURSELF!

    Because you can and will..Find others’ acceptance still..

    The true kind..the kind you’d always wished you’d find..

    For now just work on yourself..

    That is true acceptance

    So put the nasty opinions of others back on the shelf..where they belong!

    You only need acceptance from yourself because YOU are strong! - a short poem by camron botha

    #Poetry #MajorDepressiveDisorder #Selfacceptance #ADHD #overthinking #GeneralizedAnxietyDisorder #MightyPoets #Selflove #Youarestrong #LoveYouMore #loveyourself #BorderlinePersonalityDisorder #ChronicFatigue #PolycysticOvarySyndrome #Abuse #youareworthy

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    The choice

    While at a dark point in my visit to the hospital I almost made the choice to hurt myself but I walked into a special person...was it by chance? I do not know till this day. But one thing is for sure, she talked me out of something I would’ve regretted.

    So I channeled that experience into a poem that to this day makes me grateful for her presence.

    To my hero. B a poem inspired by you.

    The choice

    Early one day I went on a trip and on my way I found a paperclip...

    At first it was something innocent, a fidget toy..

    But later on could my life destroy..

    I do not know how to rid myself of this dark beast that clutches my heart..

    Threatening to unearth pain, reminding me of things that tore my life apart..

    I sat there wanting to cry..My mind filled with confusion and I don’t know why...

    Should I choose to live or should I choose to die?

    Because I no longer know how to live...

    How to try..

    Being someone great..

    Someone powerful enough to change the course of fate?

    Then I walked into you and knew...

    That what I was thinking, was not what I should do..

    Thank you for your help, the opportunity to see my worth...

    The chance to have many more days on this wondrous earth..

    By Camron Botha

    #ChronicDepression #MajorDepressiveDisorder #SuicidalIdeation #IntrusiveThoughts #ObsessiveCompulsiveDisorder #BorderlinePersonalityDisorder #GeneralizedAnxietyDisorder #Choice #Love #Gratitude #help #Friendship #MentalHealth #Anxiety #Hospital #Truth #Selfharm #dont #loveyourself

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    Been put on bed rest .... #MentalHealth #Anxiety #Depression #Selfcare

    So after a good few days with new excruciating pain in my side and back I went to hospital lastnight ,I have a severe kidney infection ,and dehydration after getting fluids etc I managed to talk them in to allowing me hone to rest as its the little ones birthday tomorrow, I have enough going on and I'm back I next week for few more skin cancer biopsies. So have even given antibiotics, hydration sachets , and more painkillers.if it doesn't improve in 48 hours I have to go back in .So I am on strict bed rest and to be honest I can barely move I'm doubled over In pain so couldn't do anything even if I wanted to.

    Feel so fed up ad it's just constant health issues ,my body is already weak and not strong enough to fight this infection which is why its worse.

    Just feel very overwhelmed with the things I already struggle with and now this.

    I am physically and mentally drained .

    #MentalHealth #Anxiety #Depression #Selfcare #Toxic #Abuse #youmatter #beyou #loveyourself #Bekind #Insomnia #SkinCancer #narcissist #AloneTogether #Endometriosis #Upallnight #CheckInWithMe #GeneralParenting #Parenting #PTSD

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    We should all have someone ...... #MentalHealth #Anxiety #Depression #Selfcare #CheckInWithMe

    We all need someone that makes us smile , makes us feel a little lighter especially on our bad days ! To make our good days even better . To be that person that a simple message from them can instantly make you feel important and be there when we fall down and sometimes can't see how we are going to manage to pick ourselves back up,to remind us that were worth it on the days we can't see any further than just hoping that days end.Wether it's a friend,family member,our child, a partner, someone on this we can relate to, reach out or even just have a simple message with but knowing we're there for each other.anyone who can make you feel not alone and make you see that little bit of light when there's nothing but darkness.That person who on your good days is there proud of you , cheering you on and happy for you.

    We should all love ourselves and be able to love who we are even on the darkest days and even when it seems impossible we just have to remind ourselves that we do matter. ♥️but if we need that someone I hope we can all have it and hopefully on this can feel in a safe place and be able to support each other.

    #MentalHealth #Anxiety #Depression #Selfcare #CheckInWithMe #Insomnia #Upallnight #SkinCancer #Endometriosis #COVID19 #longcovid #loveyourself #GeneralParenting #Parenting #Bekind

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    Tonight's feelings .... #MentalHealth #CheckInWithMe #Selfcare #Anxiety #Depression #PTSD

    Really feeling it tonight , past week or so been dealing with a kidney infection which is absolutely draining me with the pain in my back and side even walking I'm struggling, really bad flu symptoms and all on top of my usual crappy most day symptoms I deal with !I just feel like past 6 weeks have been so hectic and now that it's slowed down and settled my body is just drained.i feel really really down and struggling because I'm just so fed up of the constant pain ,sickness, depression,anxiety attacks,insomnia mostly every night and nightmares or flashbacks when i do manage to fall trying so hard to make this house a home for the kids and make it a positive space ,and make new memories, trying to keep ontop of daily house stuff,or making things in the house to keep me focused but I'm just struggling! Just feeling far too overwhelmed with it all right now....hopefully tomorrow is a better day 😊
    #MentalHealth #Anxiety #Depression #Selfcare #Toxic #Abuse #youmatter #beyou #loveyourself #Bekind #Insomnia #SkinCancer #Endometriosis #COVID19 #longcovid #CheckInWithMe

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    Bed time .... #MentalHealth #Anxiety #Depression #PTSD #Selfcare

    So today was my little ones birthday sleepover party , after a very crazy fun filled day of games, glitter tattoos,dancing, face masks and pamper time and movie night it's eventually bed time.(hoping they all sleep 😂)

    Seeing how happy she was after past few weeks and being able to give her a special little day with her friends really made all the stress past few days sorting it all worth it.

    Love that were in a new house where they feel safe now and we can make loads of new memories while feeling comfortable is such a relief .

    Hope everyone is having a good day/night ♥️

    #MentalHealth #Anxiety #Depression #Selfcare #COVID19 #longcovid #loveyourself #GeneralParenting #Parenting #CheckInWithMe #Insomnia #Upallnight #SkinCancer #Endometriosis #Bekind

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    It's going to be a LONG day ..... #MentalHealth #Anxiety #Depression #Selfcare #CheckInWithMe

    Not really slept the past few nights with little ones having nightmares, and then myself having sleep paralysis or the most vivid dreams when I have fell asleep .Having a sleepover party for my daughter and her friends tonight it's 2.30 am and they're coming at 1pm and I have so much to get done today before they come .I've been in bed since about 10pm and yet still can't manage to fall asleep.
    I took my tablets and thought they'd help tonight to get me some rest and a few hours with less pain and hopefully manage to get a sleep as today and tonight is going to be so busy and constant and after everything especially just last month I wanted to make it extra special for Harpers Birthday and have a great day and night and not end up crabbit or moody because I'm overtired and sore.I am wide awake,in pain ,anxiety really bad and thinking about stuff that I really have no need to be stressing over.(can't do anything about any of the things)

    I even built up new bunkbeds I'd got for their room as they're sharing now because we're in the temporary accommodation and it gives them more space in their room,so I thought I would definitely get a sleep after that .....

    I just wish my head would just stop or atleast slow down enough to get some rest ........

    Going to be up probably all night then need to sort the party and everything for later then have the girls all staying for sleepover .definitely going to have to stock up on energy cans for today !!!!

    #MentalHealth #Anxiety #Depression #Selfcare #Toxic #Abuse #youmatter #beyou #loveyourself #Bekind #Insomnia #SkinCancer #Endometriosis #COVID19 #longcovid #CheckInWithMe #Parenting #GeneralParenting

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    Going to bed feeling very grateful and content tonight .... #MentalHealth #Anxiety #Depression #PTSD #Selfcare

    So today was my daughters 9th birthday , the past 4/5 weeks have been crazy to be honest and how my depression had gotten even leading to the fire incident and all the chaos after it I didn't think things would look up at all .After the homeless b&b and moving in to the temporary house ,setting it all up to be as much of a home as I can ,while being ill,sore and struggling mentally and physically and some days just not coping at still struggling with nightmares and flashbacks from it all and so are the kids really bad this past two weeks , but I'm really trying to look at the positives that we got away from the old house the horrible situations with neighbour etc the kids feel safe here, they're loving this home and we will hopefully be here for a while. I am feeling alot more happier and loving that it feels like a home ,I'm managing to keep on top of things and actually happy being here and making new memories and trying to focus on the good.(that's alot easier to do on a good day though) today she had the best birthday, the little one isn't very well but he still managed to have a great day too for his sisters birthday,they laughed ,played we had a movie before bed.They both at seperate times said I was the best mummy and just seemed so happy .Those little things said from them really melted my heart tonight and I didn't realise just how much I needed to hear that from them after the past few weeks especially,the little things they say like that just randomly really makes all this stress worth it and just knowing that they don't see me the way I think of myself.

    I am going to bed feeling very very content tonight and thankful for the fact even after everything they've been through and especially just the changes in past month alone that they're still so grateful and loving ❤.

    I hope everyone has had a lovely day ♥️😊and tomorrow or the next time I feel myself slipping today is what I'm going to remind myself of to know that I'm not completely failing as a mum or must be as rubbish I constantly find myself thinking .

    #MentalHealth #Anxiety #Depression #Selfcare #PTSD #CheckInWithMe #Insomnia #Upallnight #SkinCancer #Endometriosis #COVID19 #longcovid #loveyourself #GeneralParenting #Parenting

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    Mentally & physically drained ...... #MentalHealth #Anxiety #Depression #Selfcare #CheckInWithMe

    I've been so constant the past few weeks,stressing,moving , worrying,sorting things ,trying to get temporary home as much of a hone as I can for the kids,clearing other place with everything I needed,hospital appointments, housing appointments , school issues with the kids struggling due to everything going on ,money issues nightmare s if I can fall asleep, just everything and today it feels like what happened and all of it has just hit me like a bus!!!! Stressing over not knowing how long wel be here and the thought of having to move it all again and do this is overwhelming. Just want to feel settled, know where we are going to be staying and try focus on everything else like my health and kids routine.ive really made my back worse doing everything ,and today while moving stuff I hurted my hand went to pharmacy and got a splint lady said I should get it checked !my wrist is in agony,swollen and I feel sick with the pain and its getting worse but I still have last of the stuff to get from old house tomorrow and I really didn't want to drag kids to hospital with me to sit for hours tonight so I'm hoping it won't be as bad tomorrow. I'm just drained from everything!! I am exhausted, in pain and just fed up things going wrong and being so hard!!

    Sorry for the rant 🙈🙈🙈

    #MentalHealth #Anxiety #Depression #Selfcare #CheckInWithMe #Insomnia
    #COVID19 #longcovid #loveyourself #GeneralParenting #Parenting

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    So much more than I expected.... #Anxiety #Depression #PTSD #MentalHealth #CheckInWithMe

    So after the worst two weeks from the fire incident at home, going to homless shelter then getting out temporary accommodation it's now starting to all settle a bit.myself and the kids were absolutely traumatised by it all and it's been really difficult, I've struggled alot more than I thought I would with the nightmares and flash backs every night.I have done all the moving back and forth ,clearing out old house ,sorted this temporary house ,had to let go of out little dog ad can't keep him in a temporary accommodation and had no family that could support or have him until we did ,so its been massive challenging changes for the kids going from own little roo.s to now sharing, moving,loosing the dog ,dealing with the fears of what happened. But it made it as homely I can as i can as we may be here for a while but I would be happy if we are tbh.its a great house and it's made a huge difference to me and the kids already. They've been in a great routine all week and actually slept the past 2 nights full nights in their rooms so must be feeling really comfortable that's not happened in a very long time.I am physically and mentally drained and exhausted going through it all,and especially all the moving,vuilding and clearing myself when j struggle everyday severely with my back buy its all worth it and feels like our home.have to get last bits cleared then can be done with that old house and all the rubbish memories from it , so we can be settled and relaxed here and make lots of new memories and love being here until we get our permanent home.

    #Anxiety #Depression #Selfcare #MentalHealth #CheckInWithMe #Insomnia #Upallnight #SkinCancer #Endometriosis #COVID19 #longcovid #loveyourself #GeneralParenting #Parenting #CheckInWithMe