peacefulmind

Tonight is another night of anxiety. As the clock ticks closer to midnight, my chest flutters and I feel hollow inside. It's a sickening feeling as the attack on the mind occurs. For each thought that attacks like a an arrow being thrown my way, I put up a shield, and keep trying to fight my way through just to get to safety and sleep.

I hate feeling this way every night. It makes me #sick inside. It takes forever to fall asleep. It takes a lot of effort to shut down. It doesn't seem to matter that I have 3 dogs with me, and YouTube to distract my mind by keeping me grounded. It's still a battle! When will the battle ever end? Every night it happens!

My mind seems to go into heavy thought mode as it processes untreated emotions or untreated thoughts that may have occured during the day that I was not aware about. There are moments where I have the "What If" and then there always exists thoughts about Death and Dying and losing my parents, brother or other family members and pets to death. It freaks me out.

I need it to stop. Tonight I am going to put on my full power shield and #fight for a #peacefulmind .

Since I don’t live close to the beach, I play YouTube videos of ocean waves and thunderstorms while I’m studying or when I get overwhelmed and need to calm down. It really helps!