Trying to Live
I am trying to live with a mind that's constantly high or low; with no in betweens! Sometimes it's hard to face myself. Sometimes it's just hard to live, period.
I wake up to fight the same demons that I fought yesterday; it's a daily struggle! I'm just trying to live in this world but I must admit that these suicidal thoughts paralize me sometimes.
I know that on a physical level I'm alive but on an emotional level I feel dead inside like I am ready to collapse because I'm drowning in my sorrow and pain. . . .
Being diagnosed with Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD) is very hard to accept because people judge you and try to make you feel like you're not normal; in reality normal doesn't exist anyway.
Having BPD and dealing with such intense emotions and struggling to even know who you are sometimes can make one feel hopeless honestly speaking but as a suicide attempt survivor I am not going to give up this fight!
Yes; trying to live with BPD is extremely difficult but I know I am not alone. I know I survived for a bigger purpose than myself. I know that I am more than my diagnosis. My identity is not defined by my mental illness.
I am trying to live, to do better, to survive, to have hope, to love again, to dream again, to fight, to be strong, and be brave in this life.
Because as long as I am breathing, there is life in me and that means there is purpose in me and I will never give up on that and neither should you.
We can fight this. We're in this together!
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