I don’t think I’ve ever been more proud of myself.
I should explain that four years ago I lost a job I loved because of my illnesses. I worked as a theatre support worker during operations at a nearby hospital.
I absolutely loved that job. I tried so hard to always be a model employee, to do my job well. But one day, during a kidney removal I started to suddenly feel hot and tingly all over. When I woke up I was in a hospital bed; the nurses and staff in the operating theatre had carried me onto a trolley and sent me around to A&E.
I discovered soon after that accident that I’d developed Postural Orthostatic Tachycardia Syndrome... I was given time off work but eventually theu decided to cut
me loose. And along with the POTS my bladder condition (insterstital cystitis) started to flare up and I ended up on morphine for a while. Luckily, I managed to kick that habit and now I’m taking Dihydrocodeine for my bladder and the joint pain I get from Ehler’s Danlos Syndrome.
Naturally, after I lost my job I was devasted. I fell into a deep depression. My health continued to get worth. It seemed like every time I went to the hospital for a check up, I was told I had something else wrong with me. Like Non-Alcoholic Fatty Liver Disease thats turned into Cirrohsis, and shortly after THAT diagnosis I was diagnosed with Type 2 Diabetes and I’m currently waiting for an Endoscopy on my stomach because I seem to have nearly all the symptoms of stomach ulcers.
I started to neglect myself. I didn’t take my medication, I stopped looking up and down the street before crossing the road, I stopped showing/bathing regularly. I’d go weeks, (which is gross - I know) without cleaning myself up. Everything was so exhausting. And I just didn’t have the energy.
A few weeks ago, however, I decided to start taking care of myself. I started taking my medication on time every day, I started bathing three times a week (our boiler is small and there are 5 of us in this house), I started styling my hair and putting on my face creams and wearing a little bit of make up. I feel good. But even more than all of this I’m exercising at least once every other day on my new bike.
I know these things are so small and don’t mean much... But I’m so proud of how far I’ve come.