Respiratory Syncytial Virus (RSV)

It’s a new year. But it doesn’t feel like it. Christmas was just another day. New Year’s was just another day. Every day feels the same lately. I recently had a beautiful daughter in August. Just four mere months ago. I never knew what the love of a child was going to feel like or look like, but I do now. I want to do everything in my power and control to love her, protect her, raise her right. She’s only had four months on this earth and the last 3 weeks have been so much for her and so overwhelming for this new momma. She was at daycare for one full week the beginning of December and then got sick with a cold that following weekend. I kept her home from daycare that Monday through Thursday the following week. I took her to her pediatrician Monday and everything looked and sounded fine, and was told she just had a cold and to keep doing the home remedies we were doing to take care of her. But that Thursday, everything took a turn for the worst as I had to take her to an emergency room because she was really lethargic, didn’t want to eat and was feverish. Upon arrival at the emergency room, they put an oxygen mask on her and ran some tests to see what was going on. Turns out she had gotten RSV. They tried to intubate to give her more support and a more secure airway since her oxygen levels were low, but were unsuccessful and very quickly her heart rate dropped low enough to where they needed to start compressions. Shortly after starting compressions, they lost her pulse and continued to do compressions for 20 minutes before bringing her back and then she was bagged to give her oxygen and breathe for her. From there she was rushed to the ICU at a children’s hospital and has been there ever since. She’s been hooked up to a ventilator to give her lungs the support needed and to be able to suction all the junk in her lungs from the illness. It’s been the most heartbreaking, stressful and overwhelming 3 weeks of my life. Having to see my daughter in the state that she’s in, not being able to hold her, not being able to be the one taking care of her and making her better, not seeing her smile, not hearing her cry. I never thought I’d miss her cry, but I do. Thankfully after all this time, she’s slowly been improving and getting better, and slowly moving in the right direction of being able to take her off the ventilator and give her oxygen support through another method. But there’s a chance taking her off the ventilator won’t be successful and she’ll have to be placed back on it. That scares me. This whole thing scares me. My anxiety has been through the roof and I feel like I can’t breathe until I know she’s in the clear and we can bring her home again. I’m trying to take in the small victories being made with her. She’s definitely a fighter and a spitfire already being only four months old. Keep fighting baby girl. Your momma and dad love you more than you’ll ever know and we can’t wait to have you in our arms again.

#Parenting #Anxiety #RespiratorySyncytialVirusRSV

My nephew was throwing up on Sunday and my sister thought it was the flu. She took them both to the doctor yesterday. Turns out they both have rsv. One has a double ear infection and the other one has a single ear infection. So they won't be able to see family for Christmas cuz one of the relatives is immune compromised. I feel so bad for them.

I was hanging with a good friend of mine tonight whom i haven’t seen in days as he was sick (“guy friend” as I constantly refer him as here). After a while, he had to leave and said, “I have to go to a Christmas party. I’m doing it out of courtesy”. Now the “lady friend” whom he seems fond of at times is working this Christmas party as she works at this bar the party is at (a bar he frequents). I had to leave myself to attend a choir concert so in my head I was like “whatever” (yet steaming mad at the same time) but I couldn’t help but wonder what he meant by “out of courtesy”. My brain could be just fried lately as this guy sends me constant mixed signals and I am also severely overworked at work lately but I keep going “what does that even mean..only going out of courtesy”. How would you interpret that statement? He was literally just sick with RSV, claimed he came by work just to see me but then ran off to go to a party “out of courtesy”. He kept telling me today he still feels weak but is running around like crazy today and has no problem going to a party but made sure to stress he is only going “out of courtesy”. I, of course, make the comment of “oh so you will see lady friend?” And he laughs and goes, “lady friend? You always call her lady friend”. I said “well what else should I call her” and he giggled at me and goes , “ahh, what am I going to do with you, my K..she isn’t anything”. Now I wonder what does he even mean? I feel like I can’t even understand him anymore at times. Part of me thinks he is full of you know what when he says she’s nothing because if she was nothing then why are you texting with her, going to that bar constantly (when he claims he isn’t the “bar type”), etc. Ugh!!!!

I also think he is pushing himself way too much too soon as he just got clearance yesterday to slowly get back into things and is not contagious (thank goodness too bc I have long term respiratory issues and if I end up getting sick, it’ll take me a long time to recover). How would you interpret all this? Again, it may be so simple to interpret but I’m just way too fried mentally, emotionally and physically that even the simplest things are making my head spin! Emotionally especially..I’m beat! #MentalHealth #Depression #Relationships #Anxiety

I had a new experience today. I’m feeling lousy, which unfortunately is not new. Woke up with my shoulder, back, and knees all hurting. Exhausted, congested and with a feeling of pressure around my eyes. 🥵Normally, I would just roll with it. Listen to my body and decide today was a day of rest. Thing is, a friend of mine is having a gathering that I was really looking forward to.
As I tried to gather up my gumption to go, it occurred to me that this might not be just a flare of all my fluctuating symptoms at once. Perhaps I actually have Covid or RSV. 🤔 I decided not to take the risk of sharing the yuck.
Now I’m second guessing myself. I never thought I could not know if I’m sick!!

After a 2 day migraine, with RSV on top, i feel really crummy. Can't eat more than 5 little mouthfuls without retching. Hurt from head to toe and after contracting RSV over 2 months ago, just cannot stop coughing. Already tested for Covid, thankfully negative (all 7 times) but by God I feel terrible. Already been to hospital and discharged a few weeks ago.
Pity-party table for one.

I have a tumor in my pituitary gland in my brain. It became large enough in last 2 years to be dangerous. It has developed a finger starting around my right carotid artery, as it grows it is closer and closer to my sense of smell and peripheral vision increasing my bow 49% chance of loss months ago. ANXIETY PROVOKING. Removal 1/25/22- nope.
But I became sick. December 2nd RSV 2 weeks really sick; boyfriend came down with Covid HERE. Before fully recovered developed my 5th Covid, 2nd in 3 months! Before recovered developed micro bacteria bronchitis. It was January 20th before I started recovering. Surgery was canceled. Roommate (leaving soon), “Well when they gonna do it? #youarealwayssick !” I felt the dagger in my back, the chill of my estranged mother visiting, and became obsessed with NOT being sick. I only made it 23 days, and sobbed.
They won’t reschedule it until my regular doctor clears me. #longcovid flared up after a LONG time without a bad flare RIGHT for the appointment. Temp 100.1, sore throat, sinus congestion, brain fog severe, exhausted. #Dysautonomia w/ #POTS caused by severe long Covid and maybe mild closed TBI’s before last two COVID’s, and have had two near faintings with this despite Mitodrine.