selfshame

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Drug addiction. AKA, my white, icy cold, Devil

I have lost everything in my life to drugs. It has destroyed my very existence! I lost my 4 children, my wife, my house, my family, my friends, my mum, my job, my savings and my pride because of the cold devil.... so please can someone tell me why I can’t stay sober??? Why can’t I stop? Why do I need it? Why is it my best friend, now my only companion? Rock bottom keeps kicking me in the vagina, really effing hard! But I keep running back to the devil, why? #Drugs #Addiction #AddictionRecovery #Narcotics #bad Habbits #selfdestruction #SaveMeFromMe #Madness #selfshame

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I wish

I wish I could trust my mom & bf with how I really feel from day to day. I wish I could allow my emotions free rein. I don't though.... I can't tell if it's them I don't trust or myself. I am numb so much of the time & all I want to do is eat. I'm gaining weight & I'm already diabetic so this isn't helping but I feel completely alone like I am so much of a burden already that I shouldn't expect people to listen to me at all. I wish I felt worthy of care & concern. I wish I cared enough about myself to take care of me..... #Depression #selfloathing #disgust #selfshame

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