Stammering

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    Change negative self talk to positive self talk

    Part 2 of 4 id="5b23cea700553f33fe99993a">.

    The Worrier promotes your fears that what is happening is dangerous or embarrassing(“What if I have a heart attack?!” “What will they think if they see me?!”).

    In short, the Worrier’s dominant tendencies include

    1) anticipating the worst,

    2) overestimating the odds of something bad or embarrassing

    happening,

    3) creating grandiose images of potential failure or catastrophe.

    The Worrier is always vigilant, watching with uneasy apprehension for any small symptoms or signs of trouble.

    Favorite expression: By far the favorite expression of the Worrier is “what if …?”.

    Examples:

    Some typical dialogue from the Worrier might be: “Oh no, my heart’s starting to beat faster! What if I panic and lose complete control of myself?”

    ⦁ “What if I start #Stammering in the middle of my speech?”

    ⦁ “What if they see me shaking?”

    ⦁ “What if I’m alone and there’s nobody to call?”

    ⦁ “What if I just can’t get over this #Phobia ?” or

    ⦁ “What if I’m restricted from going to work for the rest of my life?”

    The Critic (promotes low self-esteem)

    Characteristics: The Critic is that part of you that is constantly judging and evaluating your behavior (and in this sense may seem more “apart” from you than the other subpersonalities).

    It tends to point out your flaws and limitations whenever possible. It jumps on any mistake you make to remind you that you’re a failure. The Critic generates #Anxiety by putting you down for not being able to handle your panic symptoms, for not being able to go places you used to go, for being unable to perform at your best, or for having to be dependent on someone else.

    It also likes to compare you with others and usually sees them coming out favorably. It tends to ignore your positive qualities and emphasizes your weaknesses and inadequacies.

    The Critic may be personified in your own dialogue as the voice of your mother or father, a dreaded teacher, or anyone who wounded you in the past with their criticism.

    Favorite expressions: “What a disappointment you are!” “That was stupid!”

    Examples: The following would be typical of the Critic’s self-talk: “You stupid …” (The Critic relishes negative labels.) “Can’t you ever get it right?” “Why are you always this way?” “Look at how capable _ is,” or “You could have done better.”

    The Critic holds negative self-beliefs, such as “I’m inferior to others,” “I’m not worth much,” “There’s something inherently wrong with me,” or “I’m weak—I should be stronger.”

    The Victim (promotes #Depression )

    Characteristics: The Victim is that part of you that feels helpless or hopeless. It generates #Anxiety by telling you that you’re not making any progress, that your condition is incurable, or that the road is too long and steep for you to have a real chance at recovering.

    The Victim also plays a major role in creating #Depression . The Victim believes that there is something inherently wrong with you: you are in some way deprived, defective, or unworthy. The Victim always perceives insurmountable obstacles between you and your goals.

    Characteristically, it be moans, complains, and regrets things as they are at present. It believes that nothing will ever change.

    Favorite expressions: “I can’t.” “I’ll never be able to.”

    Examples: The Victim will say such things as “I’ll never be able to do that, so what’s the point in even trying?” “I feel physically drained today—why bother doing anything?” “Maybe I could have done it if I’d had more initiative ten years ago—but it’s too late now.”

    The Victim holds such negative self-beliefs as “I’m hopeless,” “I’ve had this problem too long—it will never get better,” or “I’ve tried everything—nothing is ever going to work.”

    The Perfectionist (promotes chronic stress and burnout)

    Characteristics: The Perfectionist is a close cousin of the Critic, but its concern is less to put you down than to push and goad you to do better.

    It generates #Anxiety by constantly telling you that your efforts aren’t good enough, that you should be working harder, that you should always have everything under control, should always be competent, should always be pleasing, should always be (fill in whatever you keep telling yourself that you “should” do or be).

    The Perfectionist is the hard- driving part of you that wants to be best and is intolerant of mistakes or

    Post

    Change negative self talk to positive self talk

    Part 4 of 4 ive, supportive mental habits. Bear in mind that the acquisition of positive mental habits takes the same persistence and practice required for learning new behaviors

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    Written for a Classmate and Friend - Writing Keeps Me Going

    Thank you to our mighty leader for supporting me in sharing this. Writing has helped to comfort me and cope with depression, anxiety, grief, and loneliness. I live alone now (with three cats) and do my best to stay in touch with people. I have lost a lot of special people in my life and have grieved a lot of different kinds of losses (job loss for example). I find myself overwhelmed with emotions a lot. Writing has helped. I write for friends, family, coworkers, and others who have touched my life. I wrote this for a classmate from high school.

    Sweet Speechlessness
    For C

    I remember the day in fifth grade that she came to visit our elementary school with her family. Our teacher, Mrs. H., stepped outside of the classroom to meet her and her parents. All of us, boys that is, ran up to the narrow window beside the classroom door to see her. She was like kryptonite to our cool overconfidence, the inspiration for that flutter in our chests, and the talk of the table at lunch that day. My parents were quite amazed by my newfound interest in personal grooming as well as my desire to get to school earlier than I had before—not that I had extreme struggles with either.

    In hindsight, I realized that she inspired my trust in the belief that cute, kind, and sincere could all exist within a person at one time. She was equally accepting of everyone and just as, if not more so, kind. And, though I don’t remember exactly which year it was, I remember a school dance where she asked me to dance. Senior prom maybe? Talk about honored, shy, and giddy all at once. C’est tres bon of course! And, speaking of French, what a champion of another’s romantic hopes and dreams! C was always supportive of my romantic aspirations that I shared in our French class. Whether I succeed or not, her appreciation for what I shared with the class kept me from not giving up.

    If the person I was then was sharing this now, I’m sure his ears would be red, he would be stammering in his speech, and his shy eyes would be fixed to the ground. But, so many experiences have taught me that life is too short to be so shy and reserved—especially when it comes to gratitude for one’s kindness. So, thank you C for being that advocate that pulls that shy and giddy child in all of us to the front of the class, though not standing alone, and inspiring a sense of meaning in all of us.

    Thank you for allowing me to share this.

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    Ì had to ask again.#artheals

    I had a really good day today after ten days of being, well, not well.. We had a pretty aweful Neurologist appointment, then a canceled procedure, then arguments from medical staff. Today, everything flipped. All is back on schedule, New surgeon, new team for september.it is the news I waited all weekend for.
    All I did was ask my husband, How many days? He knew what I meant. It sounded familiar to me.. He calmly, reminded me of how bad of a week it was. He reassured me this week, is going to be different. And yes, it was. I know that.
    I have to ask him, alot, how many good days were in front of me? Not of my life, it's between the next time I start over again.. I do remember this conversation, many times I think?. I need to reread everything for the patterns. Am I going to have one or two, three days maybe? I asked him how many has it been? He doesn't want to answer. I know this has come up before. I can't figure it out yet... I tried counting back again, this time... if I use my phone maybe, on my calender. YES, different emoji expressions for each day. I did three days and already felt my head throb. I realized the pile of papers I had been scribbling onto was my daily symptom log.. I had done really good at writing things down I thought. Now he tells me to not worry, we'll get it. He says it again, we had a rough week. There two piles of papers. Im looking at the calender and its not making sense. There are squares but nothing is registering. He really knew what I meant, so I asked him again. How long was it, this time ago? Ago, how long ago?
    I told him I can find out, he isn't hiding it from me. We laugh. I stormed out of the room, stuttering the wrong word again. Always something other than what my brain means. Standing there laughing at my stammering. He reassures me again, it is different now, a new week, I can't compare or think ahead. I do not do anything now. I knew it had been discussed. Discussed before, alot. How many days in between each time? I have a busy week ahead if me. Im having lunch with three women I admire on Tueday, at my beloved lunch spot. We haven't brunched in 5 years. Coffee with an Angel on Wednesday. Early Birthday with my son on Thursday. Friday pre-screening for covid and an incredible family get together on Saturday. Bithday on Sunday, EEG on Monday sleep Tuesday and Angiogram on Wednesday. I didnt realized how many times I've asked him. What day, how many, did I ask, what day, how many, how many since, how many days do I have? He knows exactly what I mean, how long, whats next. What has passed and how many good days till the next. I appreciate how he didn't answer this time, he knew I'd get upset again. He knew what to say. I know now, it was a long week. It was a bad week. I really want three good days before it starts again.. Im pretty sure I had three last time. I'll ask if I remember.

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    AA ADHD and Anxiety !! #AdultADHD #Anxiety

    Mostly anxiety and ADHD come as a package deal and make your ADHD symptoms even worse …

    I have #gad https://i.e generalized anxiety disorder since 3 years and i can tell you it has affected my work , relationships and ofcourse quality of life .

    Both the things belong to the family of mental illness .

    Somehow , at this point in my life i am simply confused about myself …. Medications dont fit after every 12 to 15 days there is a change in medicines and trust me it’s increasing my anxiety .

    I laugh with an empty heart , i joke with a feeling of self doubt, I talk socially and land up stammering.

    Still , i manage my kids …. I try to do my duties .but deep inside my heart i want to live fully i crave to be confident!!

    In short , i am incomplete …… but i am still standing because i have my role to be played on this stage of life .

    I have been taught to never take the escape route!! #StayStrong

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    My TMS Journey (weekend edition)

    Well it's the weekend and I was given specific instructions to pay attention not just to the days I have TMS treatment but the two days I don't (Sat. And Sun.)

    So what have I been up to today?

    Before my life derailed back in 2017 I had taken a Motorcycle Safety Course, planned to buy a motorcycle and then go see the world. Unfortunately things didn't happen the way I had planned.

    Today, in the blazing heat, I and 11 other riders completed range day 1 of the Motorcycle Safety Course and it was a blast. What's different about this time around the clock is the bike that is in the picture above. It's mine, bought and paid for, sitting in the garage and came fully outfitted with just about every accessory I had planned to buy and some I didn't even think of. It's the bike that was on my vision board I made earlier this year that bore the caption "buy this bike all cash." That space on the vision board, now empty, awaits something new.

    While sitting at the table tonight my sister asked me a question that went something like this...

    "Soooo...um...since you started TMS have you..."

    I could tell she was struggling to find the words so I finished the sentence for her

    "...felt less stupid??" 😂

    "Well, I wasn't going to put it THAT way...but...yeah."

    I love my sister, she is awesome, one of the strongest people I know, we totally get each other and are cynical and sarcastic to the bone (go gen x!)

    "Yes, I feel less stupid and clearer. Have you noticed?

    "Yes"

    Maybe it's working? I can't wait until Monday to tell them my sister thinks I'm less stupid since starting TMS....😂

    Oh and I passed the written portion of the Motorcycle Safety Course test...I am clearer.

    ...

    One other thing happened that bears mentioning...though this was yesterday. It was definitely something out of the norm for me...wayyy out of the norm.

    I stopped at the drug store to buy some anti-fog wipes for my glasses...riding with a helmet and glasses can be a total pain in the ass...when I found myself chatting up the cashier and flirting back and forth with her...like actual functional flirting not the "can't make eye contact, stammering, gridlock of the mind, anxiety" that has been my forte for years. Like seriously people I just don't start chatting women up let alone telling them they have a pretty face.

    Ok, before you think it's a little too weird it was actually kinda cute. While we were chatting away I flubbed my pin number not once, but TWICE 🤦 and said her pretty face distracted me. I know total 🧀 but I wasn't embarrassed or nervous, just kinda me but different. She just smiled, laughed and said maybe you should try credit this time. 😂 I told her to have a great weekend and then just walked out...wondering wtf just happened and who that guy was.

    My brother-in-law asked me if I got her number and I just looked at him mystified and said "that never even crossed my mind." Honesty I think I would need a whole lot more than TMS to muster that kind of courage.

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    Standing Before the Pharmacy Counter with Shaky Hands.

    Have you ever stood before stood before pharmacy counter, hands shaking, body slightly trembling, head aching? Waiting to see if they will even refill the prescription your psychiatrist just wrote you? Seconds ticking by on the clock, stammering, trying to explain the necessity of your medication, made to feel like an addict that is itchin' to get their fix? I have.

    It’s the worst feeling in the world. You’ve spent years fighting for your sanity and now you are made to feel like someone trying to close a drug deal.
    Looking over your shoulder, nervously waiting to see if the script will go through and when it doesn’t.. the devastation that fills every cell of your body, your heart hits the floor. Don’t they know you need your medication? And why are they making it so hard to obtain?

    No. I am not insane. But your rejection and refusal to fill my medication makes me feel as though I might as well be.