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    Depression after relocation

    I have recently relocated to a new city for 3 months where I spent my whole childhood in. I have studied abroad for many years. I am experiencing tones of depressive symptoms trying to adapt such as self-blame, headaches, forgetfulness and anxiety. The work hour is very long here so I find it very hard to exercise. I recently got engaged with my partner for 5 years. But it seems like our relationship is suffering when I fail to listen but gets overwhelmed about her problems due to #ADHD . She is from where I study abroad so she has her own struggles too. As I struggle at work and low self-esteem, I’m getting more lonely and isolated. I’m really hoping things can improve but it seems like the psychiatrists (after seeing 3) here do not want to give out diagnosis #AdultADHD apart from medications to calm my anxiety #ChronicDepression #lowselfesteem


    Medication Adjustment Anxiety

    Working with my medical pro on med adjustment. Feel like I’m having an anxiety/panic attack but able to take deep breaths at the same time. Anyone else experience anything like this? #AdultADHD #xrvsir #straterratofocalin


    Today I give me permission to rest

    It's tiring trying to be switched on and do 'normal' stuff. It's tiring and today I need to not. I need to curl up and rest. I give me permission.

    Anyone else? Say I.

    Also thank you for having me here. Newbie ADHD aware at 50 #AdultADHD #adhdaware #bekindtoyou


    Self harm

    I'm 42 years old. Why the f**k do I still have urges to cut myself?!?!?! I gave in recently. Abiut an hour or so later I regretted it and felt like a fool! I cut in places most won't see.
    #Selfharm #Cutting #AdultSelfHarm #AdultCutting #Bipolar #BipolarDisorder #BipolarDepression #Depression #bipolarmania #Mania #ADHD #AdultADHD


    Epiphany on a video about imposter syndrome #ADHD #ImposterSyndrome #neurodiverse #mask #AdultADHD

    Since being diagnosed with ADHD I have been looking into helpful resources. I came across a YouTube channel called How To ADHD. One of the videos that really was a mental sucker punch is titled Dealing with Imposter Syndrome. Now while I don't identify with imposter syndrome as a whole one thing really stuck out for me. There was a part in it about "masking" where we put on a different mask for situations we don't think we are good enough for, but try anyway.

    Even before the pandemic began and masks became a mandatory staple for nearly everyone I fell in love with them. I love woodworking and other crafts so I started getting them to protect my lungs from the dust. I started out with a mask from RZmask (not a sponsor) that had a really sweet design. After that I began seeing ads for SA Gear (also not a sponsor) with their neck sleeves so naturally I impulse bought one of their five pack sales and got a few for me and a couple for my wife.

    I found that I loved the sensation of wearing a mask. At first I thought it was from my life long obsession with super heroes which is an entirely plausible explanation. Then nearly two years later I am officially diagnosed with ADHD and watching the video mentioned above and that's when it hit me.

    I really love wearing masks because I am not entirely sure who I am at any given moment and putting a mask on helps relax. I may be a poster child for Lewis Carroll's quote in Alice's Adventures in Wonderland "I knew who I was this morning, but I've changed a few times since then." I know it sounds simple, but it really does give me a sense of safety and not just in the pandemic use.

    I have also studied the enneagram personality test. According to that I am a type 9 which is somewhat erroneously dubbed "the peacemaker." This is certainly a whole different discussion, but when listening to a podcast about the subject I heard something interesting that aligns with what I have been saying here. When the podcast hosts were interviewing two people who also tested out as type 9's they talked about self erasure. This is something that happens to this personality type frequently. They stated that most of us have little to no sense of self and that we are mirrors of those around us. We draw cues from individuals and try to build something that looks like a functioning person, but it is just a facade. At the end of the day we have to erase our proverbial hard drive and build our new self tomorrow. This totally aligns with the masking part of imposter syndrome with shocking accuracy.

    The fact that I have struggled with my sense of self for years is not at all surprising with all this that is now clarified. Thus wearing a mask allows me to be a version of me that I am learning to accept. It hides me from having to live up to unrealistic expectations that I have placed on myself trying to fit in to society.

    Here are the links for items I spoke about:
    How to ADHD: Imposter Syndrome
    Enneagram podcast: content warning Expl


    What do I do now….?

    Had a thorough few appointments with a neuropsychologist. FINALLY. After many, many years of turmoil and suffering searching for one; searching for someone to listen and take me seriously. I thought this was finally it.

    WHAT do you do, though, when the doctor basically says to you that your SYMPTOMS are causing your symptoms???
    Without even realizing it on their own that they’re saying something almost criminally absurd? And then leaves you with nothing. No answers.

    I’m just sitting here crying and feeling like I can’t keep going on today… #Depression #Anxiety #ChronicPain #HEDS #EhlersDanlosSyndrome #Fibromyalgia #HashimotosThyroiditis #ThyroidCancer #ChronicMigraineSyndrome #chronicmigraine #BrainFog #SocialAnxiety #MigraineWithAura #DoctorVisit #DoctorShopping ?! #ADHD #AdultADHD #UndiagnosedADHD #ADHDInGirls #Adhdinwomen #Dyscalculia

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    PRO at “Procrastination” !! #AdultADHD #Depression #Anxiety

    In simple terms PROCRASTINATION means the action of unnecessarily and voluntarily delaying or postponing something despite knowing that there will be negative consequences for doing so. The word has origin from the Latin procrastinatus, which itself evolved from the prefix pro-, meaning "forward," and crastinus, meaning "of tomorrow."

    Procrastination is different from delaying a task , it is an irrational behavior wherein somebody puts something off to the last minute, and then they’re stressed out of their mind, and they end up doing a poor job or less than optimal job on it, And then they feel bad about it afterward, and it may even have implications for other people.

    We procrastinate on tasks we find “difficult, unpleasant, aversive or just plain boring or stressful.” If a task feels especially overwhelming or provokes significant anxiety, it’s often easiest to avoid it.

    Sometimes we procrastinate because we have low self esteem . , yes you are right this is a symptom of our #Depression #Anxiety and even #ADHD

    So next time we procrastinate , we should not blame ourselves but the neurodiversity behind it . Let’s now focus on managing it ;
    1. Tell yourself: “I’m not the first person to procrastinate, and I won’t be the last.”
    2. Where possible , divide the work into small parts .
    https://3.Write down , why the task is important to you ;doing so will help you feel more connected to the task and less likely to procrastinate.
    https://4.We get interrupted constantly: by our phones, our families, howling dogs, the TV so situate yourself in an interruption free spot.
    https://5.Rewar yourself; plan it yourself .

    “Beware of Procrastination trap”

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    Be kind to yourself - at least try

    What I tell myself many times every day, “Take a deep breath. Look at what is within your scope of influence and control. Refuse to look at all the ways that you messed up before. They don’t matter. Start here where you are. Don’t waste your energy rehearsing and dissecting things that are done with. Wishing things weren’t what they are doesn’t fix anything. It’s going to be ok. Do what you can. It’s all you can do. Relax.” #CPTSD #Depression #BreastCancer #Bipolar2Disorder #BipolarDisorder #PanicAttack #AnxietyAttack #GeneralizedAnxietyDisorder #BorderlinePersonalityDisorder #DissociativeIdentityDisorder #AdultADHD #MajorDepressiveDisorder #AnorexiaNervosa #BulimiaNervosa #BingeEatingDisorder #EatingDisorders #Insomnia