Surrender

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Christ-like or Jonah-like? I think I’m the latter 🤔!

Wow! I just found this group.

Thoughts: I am serving the Lord. I love the Lord. But I seem to have drifted from being “Christ-like” to a Jonahian, well, a Biblical Jonah-like imitator. Yes, I see more of the “fruits of the” Jonah in me rather than the Spirit’s fruits. No condemnation, however. But a pruning of this vine might be at hand during this season.

Currently, my anxiety is released in overt energy: when alone; and absolute anger when surrounded on the congested streets where I now live while walking out my calling. I do have CPTSD and PTSD. But this season is possibly designed to bring healing in various ways to my lamenting soul.

Many times I dialogue with the Lord about this anger issue. Internally I ask myself, “Do I dislike the people I have been called to serve?” No. Truly I don’t. Yet when I am traveling through the congested city streets something in me is repulsed by many I encounter on the streets. Well, actually, those who live on the streets. The homeless. I am repulsed by the homeless when I’m walking the streets, but happy ‘to share’ how I have served “them” when working and serving at a homeless facility. So, during this season of a medical leave, my prayer to change merely stems from an internal judgment I have placed on myself: in as much as you have done to the least, you have done it unto Me.

But is THAT a Christ-like way to motivate SERVING others?

That form of “service” seems to stem from a selfish desire. I am striving to make it to heaven as being one of the best sheep in the pasture, in my opinion. Therefore, maybe Christ HAS led me to this lasting mental wilderness where I can speak to the voice of prominence that lurks on my mountain peaks seeking to entice me into thinking “I AM the I AM” and THAT is my likeness to the very Christ! Ah….No. All this means is I AM striving to be better than others, sadly. And this has absolutely NO reflection of Christ in its actions. Sorry.

So, maybe the open-ended Biblical story of Jonah, who I have realized I resemble oh so well, is a purposed wildness, in my life, used as a means of helping me change the embedded pride and arrogance I have hide below my Christ-like version of Christ. If I recount the words in red, to be like-Christ, I surrender not only my will but my life: attitudes, selfishness, judgments, and competitive nature included. My self-care today is releasing my version of Christianity for the Christ Himself.

#Christian #Anxiety #Selfcare #Surrender

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🏳🏳🏳 #Surrender

Today is sunday.. today my body won.. Mind was all positive and excited to cease the day but body was like "😩😣😞😫🤕😴 Leave me alone".. So today i let my body win.. took a shower, snuggled in my bed and watched re-runs of Grey's anatomy.. There's always tomorrow.. Give yourself a break and surrender to all da struggles..😊

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On point MESSAGE

Its as if this week challenge was written specifically for me. I often times neglect my own needs because I'm catering to everyone else. My kids, my clients, my friends, my family, etc. It becomes hard to let go and focus on me where I eventually become burnt out due to neglecting myself. I can tend to feel overwhelmed where I don't know the difference between my coming and my going.

But cheers to this week challenge; where I will learn to create a balance and be specific to my to do list by prioritizing my own needs. Intentionally being able to separate at least a complete 30 mins to myself in stillness; mindful meditation. Being able to hydrate myself by drinking more water due to my health scares.

How about the evening when my kids go to bed; being able to write in my journal, do a devotional, prayer time, watch my favorite show, snack on my favorites, etc!

Self Care is worth everything; we have to remember its not being selfish, it's being able to be honest with ourselves. To be able to create a balance in our lives, by loving ourselves so we can be our complete selves to others. "Cant give from a cup that's half empty"

#52SmallThings#Selflove #Selfcare #Selfworth #Selflove #Surrender

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The Magick! #Surrender #Cardtosser #Selfcare

Playing around with a new deck of cards. Asked what I need to surrender to this weekend. The HELP card came up. Ughh! It is so hard for me to ask for help. Geeez and to boot apparently this could manifest a decent foundation for me. I guess I’d better put pride aside!! Damn

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Surrender

It’s my goal this month to surrender to what is in the present, to surrender to what will be in the future. Its difficult to try to refrain from controlling the future when you have felt out of control for that past year and a half. #Surrender #Anxiety #Depression

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Feeling empty yet strong #Selfworth #Selflove #Surrender

A feeling of emptiness oozes out of my mind and body, anywhere, anytime, paralyzing me at times. Such painful set of emotions are difficult to tackle with. But, I am working on myself minute by minute,, day by day to become "whole". As I have understood, what Jerry said to his girlfriend, "You complete me" isn't true. In truth, you are already complete.

I hope you also feel the same. God bless!

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Pain, used as a tool for transforming the human mind #LymeDisease #ChronicIllness

I believe we have two choices when it comes to pain. You can either allow it to transform you or make you miserable. What's it going to be? Because nothing lasts forever. #Surrender #youcandothis

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