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What's New in self-worth
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We tend to forget that no matter how worthless we may feel at any point in our lives, that we are in fact, never truely worthless. We are all just mixed bags of neurodiversity and we all are capable of MIRACULOUS things. Simple. #Selfworth #Selfesteem #loveyourself #believeinyourself

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Would it be okay...?

Thinking about my last post and the comments I got. Especially one. About not measuring your worth based on your productivity. But having worth because you do. Because you are who you are. Because you are. Very revolutionary in my mind... And I am definitely not there yet in my mind. But I would like to be.
And I would like to share this with my fellow mighties: You are good enough *simply* because you exist. Maybe it doesn't feel like it. It doesn't for me. But maybe we can work on it together? One small step at a time.
(Picture from Pinterest as always:)

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Art form.

I’m practising the art of not caring so much, not taking on the thoughts of others and dancing to the dismal tunes of society’s perfections. #Selfworth #Selfesteem


Repeat it until you believe it #Selfworth #Selflove #BeYourself

I am worth it!!! LOUDER .... I AM WORTH IT!! Hopefully tomorrow I'll truly believe this!

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Tiny Zebra Notes | On Pacing Ourselves

Here’s a recent post from #TinyZebraNotes on Instagram:
Hello, speedy zebra - slow down. It’s okay to meet yourself at your own pace and enjoy moving at a level that best fits your mental and physical needs. You are strong and valued at whatever pace you choose is right for you.
#Selfcare #ChronicIllness #Selfworth

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Was I productive enough today?

Does anyone else besides me base their self-worth on their productivity? Do you find yourself anxious if you have nothing to do? Do you chastise yourself for taking a break if you don't think you "earned" it?

Yesterday I was working on writing projects and some marketing stuff and around 1pm I felt tired. I wanted to just sit and watch some Netflix. But I could hear that voice inside my head saying "you should be doing something." Then I thought "Have I done enough to earn this time doing nothing?"

I quickly realized what was happening and had to remind myself that I don't have to earn rest and relaxation. I don't always have to be doing. I don't have to earn my humanity. And neither do you.

If you find yourself questioning if you have done have. You deserve to just be without any conditions. You deserve peace and quiet. You deserve play.

You deserve to be you.

#Trauma #PTSD #CPTSD #Selfworth

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Displaced Person’s Club

I like this quote because it aptly describes what it is to suffer from a chronic long term illness, because societal norms make us naturally displaced.

If you are also afflicted with childhood trauma or CPTSD (as I think Jeanette Winterson most likely is), the displacement becomes part of your fabric. No matter where you go or what you do, you never quite feel like you have arrived at the right place.

You are forever searching.

Growing up in an unsafe environment, meant that my ability to trust in the outside world was forever tainted. No matter how much time passes, because time in our minds is an abstract concept.

Trauma does not obey the laws of time.

For this reason; the only truly safe place that feels like home are the nooks and crannies in my mind. The only hiding place that no one can invade or take from me. Self comfort was something I was forced to learn from the start, so I belong very securely in my inner sanctuary… it is the outside world that gives me trouble.

After years of forced silence, I find that I can no longer hold back my truths. Unfortunately people don’t want to hear the truth, we are supposed to engage in odd games and superficial niceties. Particularly if you’re British—because complaining is a social faux pas that has somehow become encoded into our culture. Even if you suspect your waiter spat in your meal, you’ll still gush about how great everything was if questioned, then perhaps rush home to leave a bad online review.

It’s the new angry letter to the editor.

I’m not convinced this is a particularly healthy way to live your life, but when you’re a spoonie, sometimes you have to choose your battles wisely. Be a nonplussed ‘big dog’ as my therapist calls it.

And, if you’re bedbound or homebound, it can be difficult to find your tribe when you do not have any of the usual things that foster relationships. Work, parenting, hobbies, or trustworthy family members with a healthy respect for personal boundaries.

I think this is why I find nature so comforting—it does not care who or what you are. Outside the world of material and man made things; wherever you are, there you belong.

If any of this describes you—welcome to the Displaced Person’s Club! We don’t have regular meetings or a fixed meet up spot… it’s a work in progress. But you’ve probably been quietly wearing the badge all your life, which gives us all something in common ❤️‍🩹

#ComplexPosttraumaticStressDisorder #Childhoodtrauma #PTSD #Trauma #ChildhoodTraumaSurvivors #Anxiety #ChronicIllness #Selfcare #Selflove #Selfworth #Spoonie #Relationships #HealthyBoundaries #Loneliness

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What he/she/they/you think of me is None of my business, and here is why:

We all know the #struggle it is to #Love ourselves, to even find and hold onto #Selfworth is a great challenge fr most of us. In a civilization saturated by a culture corporate/business model norm that our worth, our #value is based on #Productivity and we come to define productive as getting dressed, brushing our teeth, COOKING, and the true miracle- going for a #Walk . The opinions of those who can not “walk a mile in our lives” COMPLETELY lack any value to us. Oh, you will encounter fakers who will mock our lives, as if they have given it thought. However, when you whisper to their bravado the reality their minds are too small to absorb it. A shout on f how dramatic you are!
Again, the opinion of him/her/they or them is utterly meaningless. Only YOU know your truth, your effort given your #resources . Our remaining #resources whether it be #Fibromyalgia , #Asthma , #MajorDepression , #AnxietyAttack , #longcovid , #ChronicFatigue , or one f the many combinations of #AutoimmuneDisease with so much else, NO ONE knows how much is in our tank on any given day, r the #courage it takes to #rest !!!!

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Question to all : can you relate to feeling profoundly defective ?

I’ve realized that one of the major impediments in my daily life is the core belief that I am wrong, dysfunctional, defective. It seeps through every little thing I do, say or feel.
My first response to whatever I just did, thought or expressed spontaneously is to correct it into its opposite. If I become aware that my body adopted this or that position while slouching on the couch, I will automatically change it, without even questioning why the first setup was wrong in the first place. That’s a silly, mundane example just to illustrate how pervasive it is.
In more serious matters, it means I condemn every thing I want, do, say, think or feel without even taking the time of fully exploring it. Whatever happens instinctively, as soon as I get aware of it, I will immediately go the other way.
That core belief is inevitably accompanied by a permanent sense of shame. Because I am so inherently, so intrinsically wrong, because the way I’m wired is inadequate, I am ashamed of everything I am - or rather, everything I am not.
Springing from this original belief and the shame it brings, I am constantly thinking something along the lines of “I have to get better before I can do this” or “I need to fix my issues before I can attempt anything”. Meanwhile, life sort of passes me by, time flies and I wake up from time to time having gained another year and not feeling like I’ve made any real progress at all.
It makes me wonder if all the problems and issues I think I have are as real as I believe them to be - or if they are emanations of that one single twisted, crippling belief. It kept me from entering any sort of relationship for six years, believing I couldn’t impose the mess that I was on another human being. In the end, being in a relationship is probably the place where I did the most growing and gained the most self-awareness.
Anyway, I was wondering if anyone had ever come to that realization and if so, how you guys had coped with it and maybe even eventually healed from it.
Thanks for reading.
#BorderlinePersonalityDisorder #Shame #Selfworth #journey #Breakthrough

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What defines us? #Selfesteem #Selfworth

I see so many times that our disease/disorder/job/accomplishments, etc don't define us. I'm not even sure what defines me anymore. I've got major depressive disorder and a few other health issues. I'm out of work. I don't think I've ever known who I AM. Never developed a sense of identity, for so many reasons. I'm curious what people think defines them.