Christian

Today I’ve been trying to nurture my tired soul and spirit; so when I came across this thought right now to calm me down , I kinda said “yeah, today’s been like that”. 😔
I treated my kids to some icecream after school, I’ll try to #Yoga but if not, I’ll make my peace.

Hope you find your peace today. ☮️✌🏼🕊🙏🏼

#Depression #Fibromyalgia #Insomnia #Migraine #Christian #Anxiety

Wow! I just found this group.

Thoughts: I am serving the Lord. I love the Lord. But I seem to have drifted from being “Christ-like” to a Jonahian, well, a Biblical Jonah-like imitator. Yes, I see more of the “fruits of the” Jonah in me rather than the Spirit’s fruits. No condemnation, however. But a pruning of this vine might be at hand during this season.

Currently, my anxiety is released in overt energy: when alone; and absolute anger when surrounded on the congested streets where I now live while walking out my calling. I do have CPTSD and PTSD. But this season is possibly designed to bring healing in various ways to my lamenting soul.

Many times I dialogue with the Lord about this anger issue. Internally I ask myself, “Do I dislike the people I have been called to serve?” No. Truly I don’t. Yet when I am traveling through the congested city streets something in me is repulsed by many I encounter on the streets. Well, actually, those who live on the streets. The homeless. I am repulsed by the homeless when I’m walking the streets, but happy ‘to share’ how I have served “them” when working and serving at a homeless facility. So, during this season of a medical leave, my prayer to change merely stems from an internal judgment I have placed on myself: in as much as you have done to the least, you have done it unto Me.

But is THAT a Christ-like way to motivate SERVING others?

That form of “service” seems to stem from a selfish desire. I am striving to make it to heaven as being one of the best sheep in the pasture, in my opinion. Therefore, maybe Christ HAS led me to this lasting mental wilderness where I can speak to the voice of prominence that lurks on my mountain peaks seeking to entice me into thinking “I AM the I AM” and THAT is my likeness to the very Christ! Ah….No. All this means is I AM striving to be better than others, sadly. And this has absolutely NO reflection of Christ in its actions. Sorry.

So, maybe the open-ended Biblical story of Jonah, who I have realized I resemble oh so well, is a purposed wildness, in my life, used as a means of helping me change the embedded pride and arrogance I have hide below my Christ-like version of Christ. If I recount the words in red, to be like-Christ, I surrender not only my will but my life: attitudes, selfishness, judgments, and competitive nature included. My self-care today is releasing my version of Christianity for the Christ Himself.

#Christian #Anxiety #Selfcare #Surrender

I felt it was best to refrain from posting these past few days. I was very #sad , #confused , & #hopeless due to my heartwrenching experience at the shelter I went about a week ago. I was even #Feeling like there might very well be a #Curse on me & my life. I pretty much believed that any & every thing I might & would do or try to do, was destined to be #tradgedy & cause me more #Heartache . To put it honestly, day to day was kinda "touch-and-go" moreso than ever. Recently, it came to a head, and I honestly felt that i had no idea if I'd be around to see the next day. But today, I brought home a new #Cat . He was the best cat there at PSPCA. (Pennsylvania SPCA. ) health-wise, age-wise, & he is calm with a #wonderful temperament. He is asleep on the couch with me right now. I like it at cold temps, but I not want him to get sick. He doesn't (yet) seem to feel ok about having a blanket over him, for warmth, but then again, he is just getting to know & has to have a bit of time to learn he can #Trust me. Anyways, I am keeping my leg against him for him to have my body warmth. I am SO pleased the way the day turned out. Had some very rough spots there, but it ended up not getting the best of the situation#. I have my baby! His name is what I consider extremely anti - #Christian . I don't even like to say or write it. I have been calling him "Baby" when I talk to or call for him. Still, I'm taking my time about giving him his permanent official name !!!

I don't know who needs this but let this be a reminder that you're not alone and that God sees you

Many of you may remember my fur baby Melvin Lick. I thought he had been doing better but we took him for a vet checkup and to figure out how far along his stage of kidney failure was. While there where some good news, the overal verdict is he is in the final stages of kidney failure and he also has Hyperthyroid disease. The truth of the matter is that he had not gained any weight since coming out of that horrible boarding house. We might lose him soon. As of today he has stopped drinking, and he barely ate. Right now he doesn’t want liquid or food. There is still one med that he might go on, however I’m unsure that it will work. I’m asking for #Prayer from all followers of Jesus Christ to pray for his healing 🙏❤️‍🩹 Also that if God want’s to take Melvin home soon that he would take Melvin with as little suffering as possible.

I’ve been so blessed to be his caretaker, his PawPaw 😇 and I will feel a sense of relief when he goes to be with Jesus where there will be no more suffering. But at the same time I am going to miss my boy 😭 even now I feel sad. My Mom and I have done what we can. The most powerful thing that can be done now is praying 🙏 and to make sure Melvin is as comfortable as we can while waiting for God’s healing weather that is a physical healing or taking Melvin to be with Him. How I long for the day Jesus Christ will return and I will be reunited with not just Melvin Lick, but all the Cats that have ever been a part of our family. For right now though my heart is aching and breaking 💔 there will always be a piece of me that misses Melvin Lick.

Is the cake really a lie?

Yep, I’m feeling like that awkward guy in the picture. Confused 🫤 has no idea what is going on, and alone. I really don’t like it when these feelings arise. It’s only natural that they do though. Humans aren’t meant to be isolated for so long.
My name is Brennan I’m 33 years old, a follower of Jesus Christ. I’m an introvert, something I’ve been wanting to change. What can I say old habits die hard. I’ve been socially awkward all of my life. This is due to being on the Autistic spectrum. I was diagnosed with OCD/ADHD and Aspergers was what it was called at the time, now high functioning Autism. I also get drained of my energy very quickly.
I struggle with anxiety and depression and loneliness I don’t have many friends and the few that I have are really busy or I’m so exhausted that I don’t have the energy to drive safely. New people I meet in groups seem to have very busy lives as well. I know my life will become more busy soon. I also have a desire to marry, but am afraid I may be a hassle to whom I marry.
I know that marriage is not like the Hollywood movies and how media portrays it or lack there of in much media. I want to bless my future wife not be a curse to her because of my ailments. I also know that marriage isn’t what is going to fulfill my life. God’s calling will fulfill my life. If he has marriage planned for me in the future then I praise him! If God doesn’t have marriage in his plan for me then I will praise him! I can’t help but hope though. It has been one of my dreams to marry. I know God cares about our dreams even if they are not in synch with his will he still cares about our feelings. And I can’t say that marriage is not in his will for me. Can’t say it is either.
Right now though, I have a need time aside from church meetings and functions with my brothers and sisters.
Ugh 😩 I feel so defective. There are so many things wrong with me. Yet there are many gifts 🎁 God has given me. Skills in certain areas. It’s just so hard to deal with all the inadequacies in me. My short temper 😡 My impatience. My social anxiety. My lack of social skills.
I know I’m not supposed to compare myself to others but it’s hard not to. I realize that the people I see functioning on a much higher level than me have their problems even if I can’t see them.
It’s just discouraging seeing so many people younger than me functioning at what appears to be a much higher level. It makes me embarrassed about how my own life is going.
With all that being said there are a lot of things that I have going for me. I just needed to vent a bit. Thank you everyone. Actually I tend to crave reassurance and that isn’t something I should be seeking. Knowing that this reassurance craving is something caused by my OCD.

Yes this is quite accurate 🤣 oh I love cats so much! They bring so much joy laughter and comfurrt…pun intended 😹

This is too good🤣🤣🤣😅🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

Well Melvin Lick 👅 Greats everyone and would like to say he is doing well. God has restored his health! He was at deaths doorstep, but now he is enjoying life and enjoying his family immensely! For those who didn’t know Melvin had to be separated from his family for half a year. The boarding house that took him in did not take good care of him and almost killed him. He was only seven pounds when we got him back. We gave special instructions to the people who run that boarding house because Melvin has Kidney failure.
Anyway though through a lot of prayer and seeking out ways to help him, he is healthy again! And loving the little house bed I bought him! The little cutie 🥰🥰