Her presence did wonders. It was magical. It filled the house with life and light so bright the streets couldn't need a sun during the day and street lights at night.
Personally, it was soothing. It was a reason to stuff all those emotions I'd rather not talk about into a really big sack and throw it behind me.
It hugged my malleable heart and made it's way into the black hole it bore. But it wasn't sucked in by all that energy, it just freely navigated through my heart like it owns the place.
I watched it tour this massive space of dark energy like it was on to something then all of a sudden, it stopped.
I don't know why but I could feel it's warm grip on something intangible but relevant, either way, it felt really good.
Finally, it settled in what automatically became the sweet spot in my heart, as it got comfortable, it only expanded. Now l'm no science inclined but it did feel like some acid effect kinda shit. Eventually it filled up the hole so much that mines let out deep cracks. The mighty black hoIe was reduced to an ordinary sweetness stuffed up space and all that dark energy sucked out, like SpongeBob was at work. But still, I was as scared as my continuously expanding heart. "There was more to this shit", I thought.
Then the days I dreaded arrived in dirt bikes. As much as I hated them, they had to make the best of it all. They hung around looking like thugs, spying on our every breath. When it was time for them to step in, they did so graciously.
Point is, now she's gone. So far away that breathing the same air again would take some proper calculations. After dramatically watching her leave, I turned around to go back into the house and I tripped over something. Something so hard, so big, so painful. I bet you know what that is.
There it lay, just as I left it, my sack of emotions.
As I poured out the content of that sack I could feel sharp pains up in my chest. Something bigger than my black hoIe energy was back and that space, ten times wider.
As much as I would rather not miss her, as much as I want to get over my emotional support buddy 🐶, as much as I want to tell him how I feel... I stack up, go out and wear a BIG smile. It is one thing I'm good at.
You can see me, but... can you see me SELFDESTRUCT 🙃