teen

I wish I was in Wonderland. I wish that I was able to fall out of this world and into a new one. I don’t want to end my life, but rather start a new one away from here. I want to be away from the pain that is my every day and instead have tea parties with the Mad Hatter and March Hare. I suppose in a way I am in Wonderland. I already have a white rabbit in a hurry to get me out of here, knowing I’ll die if I don’t, and the Queen of Hearts trying to cut off my head and I’ve fallen by my own will, getting up and having scars of my own will and blood, not dirt, on my clothes. But where is my Mad Hatter? Where is my March Hare or my Cheshire Cat? When do I get to let go of the world I’m living in and start a new one? When is it my turn to let go of my pain? The pain of every day, the pain of my past…When does my mom wake me up and tell me it’s time to go home and I realize that it was all a dream? I ask all the questions, but nobody had the answers. But that is okay. I don’t want the answers, I want the comfort. I want you to tell me that someday I’ll be Alice in a Wonderland of my own. But for now, I just wait for the rabbit hole leading to my Wonderland to appear. I’ll wait for my Mad Hatter and March Hare to save me from the Queen of Hearts. I’ll wait for the Cheshire Cat to be my guiding spirit, the one who shows me the way to help, the way to freedom and feeling okay. I wish I was in Wonderland so that I can feel okay. I wish I was in Wonderland for then I’d have my wish. But I will wait. I will forever wait. Forever because a place like Wonderland does not exist. Forever because this is my world and I will make it my own. It might not be a world of talking flowers and playing cards, but it’s a world of crazy people trying to cut off my head and little white rabbits caring me away. I may not be the life of Alice, but it’s the Wonderland I have. So now I say that I wish was in Wonderland, but realize I am. I am in Jaz’s version of Wonderland. My own version.

#Depression #Anxiety #PTSD #Pain #help #Teen #scared #TheMighty

Little Sara, you're a diamond in the rough

And I know that you don't hear this all enough

And I'm sure that's why your wrists have tons of cuts

And I'm sure that's why you think you're not enough

On your 19th birthday, you thought that you were done

Tons of people in your home, but it only felt like one

'Cause your brain can only think about the waiting loaded gun

But your friends are all still here, so pretend you're having fun

All your friends they wanna drink 'cause it's your birthday

But you've been drinking straight probably since last Thursday

Drinking is the only thing that makes you feel just okay

It keeps the trigger finger off the trigger and at bay

Your mind can only think about the things it shouldn't

Your brain is filled with thoughts of wishing that ya didn't

Little Sarah, perk your ears up, try to listen

But she can't hear a sound because she's locked in a prison

She can barely see the pavement

She can barely read the signs

People think she's complicated

But never wanna look inside

'Cause she's a little too R-rated

And they're a little too damn blind

She's just looking for her angels

But they're a little hard to find

Little Sara, you've been skipping out on class

And any minute now, your friends are gonna ask

Why the hell you're always acting sorta sad?

And why the hell your weed just never seems to last?

But the truth is, you don't wanna let your secret out

'Cause they think it's wrong for you to take a different route

All except your mom too bad that she's just not around

And don't get me wrong, those words you've tried to get them out

But their views been skewed from their plastic news

From their plasma tubes, so they won't fit in your shoes

Except for Sunday blues, but you got Monday blues

And you got Tuesday blues, damn, every day ya might lose

All your friends they wanna smoke 'cause it's a Friday

But you've been smoking straight probably since last Sunday

I know you know you shouldn't say that you are okay

But you still look 'em in the eye and lie then go to use your ashtray

Little Sara, last night, you got it bad

In that moment, you could barely even

Add up two or three reasons why you're glad

And I guess that's why you grabbed your pen and pad

It was 6:14, and you could barely even read

All the words you'd written down when it was time for you to leave

Your phone was on the ground and you could barely hear it ring

Couldn't even hear a sound, couldn't feel a single thing

Now it's 6:15, and you're on your knees

Blood is on your sleeves, and your lungs won't breathe

Eyes are watering, body's shivering

And you're wondering what is happening

Now it's 6:23, and they're on their knees

Begging "Jesus please, can you make her breathe?"

'Cause they finally see what was happening

Cause they finally see what was happening

Underneath their nose and underneath your sleeves

#Depression #Anxiety #SH #LGBTQ #Teen #PTSD #helpme

High school is such a pain in my ass! 3 papers are due today and it's only the 4th school day this term! 😭🤬😭🤬😭🤬

#Ugh #HighSchool #struggle #teenagers #teenager #Teen #Problems