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Repost: I wanted to die

This is a repost of my letter to my twelve year-old self when I was in deep depression and suicidal. I hope this letter can help others. May is mental health awareness month.
#SuicideAwareness #MentalHealth #Depression #Teen

Dear Audrey,

This letter is a long time coming, a long time of struggle and success, of unrequited love and true love. Of discovery and longing and contempt. Of happiness and sadness. But you make it and you overcome all obstacles. And now all that's left is a letter between good friends.

Audrey, I wish I could have been there with you and guided you through it all. I wish I could have been your voice of reason and the hand that stopped you even before that morning dawned. I would have told you about all the wonderful things you are capable of and how many faces smile because of you. I would have shown you that you were not and are not alone. That the sadness subsides, always subsides and happiness is a closer friend. That the bullying wasn't forever and that life gets better. Life has a funny way of laughing when we're down, but we don't give in, we grab it by the scruff of its neck and scream. Because we are worth more.

Little Audrey, this letter comes to you during a strange time when you are experiencing new thoughts and feelings. Everything is twisted and on its head, you are hearing voices, but you can't let the voices win. That's the Bipolar talking and that is one nasty bitch. If it was up to it you'd be dead thinking that you spared your family a burden. When in actuality you would be breaking them.

So stay strong little Audrey, you are destined for great things and no sadness is permanent, no misery worth the power you give it. We are all in this together.

All our love,


10 reactions 2 comments

Dear parents/guardians: If your kid(s) is a teenager or if they become one, please listen to them | TW family, misrepresentation

I’m so sick of the common trope seen in media like many TV shows and games that portray teens as “they think they can do whatever they want”, as folks with an attitude, or as folks who just talk back to their parent(s). I’m 20 1/2 years old, I don’t have kids or teens, but even I know that this is bullcrap.

Please listen to teenagers, and for goodness sake, do not assume that them defending themselves or standing up for themselves is the pure same thing as having an attitude (my mother always made that same mistake when she used to be mentally abusive)!

Especially if they’re not fully straight/heterosexual, if they’re transgender/non-binary/genderqueer/etc., polyamorous or non-monogamous, struggling with or identifying as a part of anything else that’s outside the societal norm, struggling with illnesses, struggling with neurodivergence/disabilities, or struggling with mental health and/or trauma. Please, I beg you. Don’t ignore them or excuse them for these ignorant stereotypes!

#TeenagersDeserveBetter #Family #psa #MentalHealth #Teen #teenager #teenmentalhealth #LGBTQIA #listen #misrepresentation #Anxiety #Trauma #misunderstood #Stereotypes

4 reactions 1 comment

When my sadness started

Okay guys so I realised that I didn't start being sad last year but when I was 8 when my grandfather died. Now when I think of my parents about my grandfather's death I wana cry. Last year when I was banned from BTS and allowed to be and Army I feel like I fell into depression (not medical diagnosed but feel like) now I was never happy since before my grandfather's death. Now my life is sad and painful etc. #Family death #Never happy #Teen struggling with mental health

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Realizing the pain isn't changeable. . . .

I wish I was in Wonderland. I wish that I was able to fall out of this world and into a new one. I don’t want to end my life, but rather start a new one away from here. I want to be away from the pain that is my every day and instead have tea parties with the Mad Hatter and March Hare. I suppose in a way I am in Wonderland. I already have a white rabbit in a hurry to get me out of here, knowing I’ll die if I don’t, and the Queen of Hearts trying to cut off my head and I’ve fallen by my own will, getting up and having scars of my own will and blood, not dirt, on my clothes. But where is my Mad Hatter? Where is my March Hare or my Cheshire Cat? When do I get to let go of the world I’m living in and start a new one? When is it my turn to let go of my pain? The pain of every day, the pain of my past…When does my mom wake me up and tell me it’s time to go home and I realize that it was all a dream? I ask all the questions, but nobody had the answers. But that is okay. I don’t want the answers, I want the comfort. I want you to tell me that someday I’ll be Alice in a Wonderland of my own. But for now, I just wait for the rabbit hole leading to my Wonderland to appear. I’ll wait for my Mad Hatter and March Hare to save me from the Queen of Hearts. I’ll wait for the Cheshire Cat to be my guiding spirit, the one who shows me the way to help, the way to freedom and feeling okay. I wish I was in Wonderland so that I can feel okay. I wish I was in Wonderland for then I’d have my wish. But I will wait. I will forever wait. Forever because a place like Wonderland does not exist. Forever because this is my world and I will make it my own. It might not be a world of talking flowers and playing cards, but it’s a world of crazy people trying to cut off my head and little white rabbits caring me away. I may not be the life of Alice, but it’s the Wonderland I have. So now I say that I wish was in Wonderland, but realize I am. I am in Jaz’s version of Wonderland. My own version.

#Depression #Anxiety #PTSD #Pain #help #Teen #scared #TheMighty

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Why is it that it's too hard for other people when I ask for help? I'm struggling with my school work (I'm 16) and so I ask my mom for help and instead, she goes and blames my friends and tells me to stop talking to them until all of my school work is done. But then most of the days she has me out all day to do other things. I'm at an online school called Maidu Virtual Charter Academy so all of my school work needs to be done on my own time. She has me waking up at 9, starting my school work by 10. I get 3 days of school work, if I'm lucky. She wants me to stop talking to my support system, the people that get me through this horrible place I'm supposed to call home so that I'll do my work, but she's taking most of my time for her to do things, not caring how it affects me. I'm not allowed to stay home alone, she doesn't trust me. She blames my friends, my support system, my lifeline for my lack of work being done, for my asking for help. And in that conversation, she tells me that next week we're going out all day. How does this make sense? She gets mad at me for asking for help with this, seeing if I can do things differently, telling her that if I was at a public, in-person school, I wouldn't have this issue because I'd have teachers to help me and I would have hours 5 days a week to have the socialization I don't get right now. I have to wake up at 6 or 7 to do what she wants me to do, to take a day away from what I need to do. But I have to wait until 9 to wake up for what's important to me. I have from about 9:30am to around 3-4pm to do my school work. And about 3 days a week. When you're at the schools around here you start school at 8am and the day ends at 3pm, for 5 days a week. And she still fucking expects me to get everything done of her expectations! It's ridiculous! And then if I don't meet those expectations I'm a failure and she says (this is a direct quote) "This is why I'm not letting you have a job. You can't keep up with this, and this is literally your job right now!" I don't know what to do anymore, but I have the nonstop thought of dropping out. If I drop out then all of this stress is gone. But! If I drop out there's no way I'm getting into my dream college (NYU) and that just means I'm proving everybody around me right. My struggling with school work is automatically blamed on my friends. It's always been like that. Even when I was a child and going to a public in-person school. It's always the socialization that's the issue. I'm over this shit, but I can't do anything about it and that's the worse part. I have 2 options right now it seems like

1) Keep socializing but have my mother make me feel like a failure

2) Stop talking to my life support and end up in a psych place (again) and be a failure to my mother

I don't know what to do. Either way, I'm a fucking failure, and I hate that feeling. I'm sick of living here, but it would kill my mom if I told her that, let alone if I left. I love my mom more than anything, but this is getting real old real fast. Every time I struggle, with my mental health or with school doesn't matter, it's always my friends. If she would just listen to me...














Unmotivated Mornings

This morning has been tough… I did not feel like going to school today, so I am just sitting at home feeling VERY unmotivated. I thought I would post on here incase anyone else is experiencing the same (or similar) things as me. Remember that it is totally okay to take a day off, and just just focus on yourself! If all you do today is sit on the couch, I am still proud of you! You’re doing amazing :) #Depression #Unmotivated

Reply with how you’re feeling today! #Support #Friends #Teen

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It hurts that songs like this hit hard... (This is just some of the lyrics of the song) "Sarah" By We Three

Little Sara, you're a diamond in the rough

And I know that you don't hear this all enough

And I'm sure that's why your wrists have tons of cuts

And I'm sure that's why you think you're not enough

On your 19th birthday, you thought that you were done

Tons of people in your home, but it only felt like one

'Cause your brain can only think about the waiting loaded gun

But your friends are all still here, so pretend you're having fun

All your friends they wanna drink 'cause it's your birthday

But you've been drinking straight probably since last Thursday

Drinking is the only thing that makes you feel just okay

It keeps the trigger finger off the trigger and at bay

Your mind can only think about the things it shouldn't

Your brain is filled with thoughts of wishing that ya didn't

Little Sarah, perk your ears up, try to listen

But she can't hear a sound because she's locked in a prison

She can barely see the pavement

She can barely read the signs

People think she's complicated

But never wanna look inside

'Cause she's a little too R-rated

And they're a little too damn blind

She's just looking for her angels

But they're a little hard to find

Little Sara, you've been skipping out on class

And any minute now, your friends are gonna ask

Why the hell you're always acting sorta sad?

And why the hell your weed just never seems to last?

But the truth is, you don't wanna let your secret out

'Cause they think it's wrong for you to take a different route

All except your mom too bad that she's just not around

And don't get me wrong, those words you've tried to get them out

But their views been skewed from their plastic news

From their plasma tubes, so they won't fit in your shoes

Except for Sunday blues, but you got Monday blues

And you got Tuesday blues, damn, every day ya might lose

All your friends they wanna smoke 'cause it's a Friday

But you've been smoking straight probably since last Sunday

I know you know you shouldn't say that you are okay

But you still look 'em in the eye and lie then go to use your ashtray

Little Sara, last night, you got it bad

In that moment, you could barely even

Add up two or three reasons why you're glad

And I guess that's why you grabbed your pen and pad

It was 6:14, and you could barely even read

All the words you'd written down when it was time for you to leave

Your phone was on the ground and you could barely hear it ring

Couldn't even hear a sound, couldn't feel a single thing

Now it's 6:15, and you're on your knees

Blood is on your sleeves, and your lungs won't breathe

Eyes are watering, body's shivering

And you're wondering what is happening

Now it's 6:23, and they're on their knees

Begging "Jesus please, can you make her breathe?"

'Cause they finally see what was happening

Cause they finally see what was happening

Underneath their nose and underneath your sleeves

#Depression #Anxiety #SH #LGBTQ #Teen #PTSD #helpme

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* Internal Screaming * 😭🤬

High school is such a pain in my ass! 3 papers are due today and it's only the 4th school day this term! 😭🤬😭🤬😭🤬

#Ugh #HighSchool #struggle #teenagers #teenager #Teen #Problems

1 comment

Any tips/ advice for making friends #Teen #Friends #Advise #Tips

How do I make friends as a homeschoold teen. Does anyone have any tips or ideas. Also may i add I have not made or had any friends in abt a year and half. I genuinely don’t know how to start a conversation with someone. Like if I’m out in public and I see someone who looks my age and want to become friends with them do I just go up to them and say I like your hair. It’s really pretty and try to make more conversation after that orororr???????????? I need tips and advise plz and thank you!


Does anyone have job recommendations or business chains they know are disability friendly?

#Teen #Disability #help #Jobs
I'm a 16 year old with a multitude of health problems. Summer break is quickly approaching and I really need to get a source of income. But I've had so much trouble finding a job. I've had several businesses tell me that my accessibility needs are "against company policy"
I can't stand up for more than 1 hr consecutively and I'm having a very hard time finding a job that doesn't require that. I'm honestly really upset and frustrated with how inaccessible everything is around me :((