How in the world am I going to fix me! I don’t want to do it.
I made 16 therapy appointments over the summer and DID NOT GO to a single one. I need help, I know this much. I’m struggling. I wasn’t this person 4 years ago, i was June cleaver! My kids need me. I’m the only one they have and I feel im failing them. I don’t eat, sleep, enjoy ANYTHING, won’t read, watch tv, or attempt anything that might break my ruminations. I consciously choose these thoughts over living any semblance of a life. I am trapped in my head, My soul is SCREAMING. It feels like I’m actively watching myself die, yet I am not suicidal. Lord help me. Oh not religious either, ugh. #CPTSD #traumabonds #MajorDepressiveDisorder #PanicDisorder #Grief #ChronicPain