This is my first post here cause i searched on how to deal with the end of a relationship for someone with BPD and i found this app :)
I had to put an end to this relationship,that had become only a meeting for a night or two with a person i tried to and had a relationship many times,with a come and go that hurted me every time even more,creating a sort of dipendence by him.Also he has many narcissistic ways to bring me back to him. But now that there’s no coming back,i feel like i should be feeeling free and relieved by the lost of the weight of this toxic relationship,but in reality i’m not. I still feel like i’m not worthy of living anymore,that i need constant romantic validation.I hate myself for the fact that i couldn’t let him go sooner or that while he has already moved on i know that because of my BPD it will take my much a longer time.We were trauma bonded,and that i think was one of the many reasons things between us couldn’t work.
I feel hopeless,like i lost myself,but i know that this feeling is temporary.
I realized that i gave myself to him so much that i couldn’t give myself time to appriciate myself and love myself more. Dealing with these much intensity of emotions it’s feeling like it’s killing me,but because it’s my first time dealing with this kind of ending i really don’t know what to do and i’m looking for someone who can kinda give me some advice on moving on and giving myself love when i’m used to give my all to others :))
love u all xx
#BorderlinePersonalityDisorder #Breakups #bpdsymptoms #narcissisticabusesurvivor