narcissisticabusesurvivor

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    Stress at Work #overwhelmed

    My boss is away sick again and it's just me in the office. This time of year is extremely busy and I am so stressed. I just want to curl up in a ball under my desk and cry and then take a nap. I'm already getting super anxious about her three week holiday in August.
    I'm trying to focus on one task at a time, but the phone keeps ringing and bringing me new urgent situations.
    I'm chewing some intensely minty gum and drinking very cold water to try to help me stay present and focus, but I'm not coping super well.

    #Work #Stress #Depression #Anxiety #emotionalabusesurvivor #narcissisticabusesurvivor #CopingTips

    11 people are talking about this
    Community Voices

    If you love me, leave me alone

    I've been isolating myself over the past couple years and I'm now at a point where I pretty much only talk with my sister outside of necessary work relationships. As some friends and family members who I have stopped communicating with occasionally message me, I start to feel panicky and suffocated.
    I recognize that this is most likely a trauma response as my narcissistic ex was such an all-consuming presence, under the guise of love. It's been nearly ten years since I got out of that relationship, but it still feels like relational attachment or commitment is controlling and trapping me. I can't get myself to differentiate between healthy and unhealthy attachment in this regard, and therapy hasn't helped so far.
    When I'm feeling triggered and in a heightened state of hypervigilance, any person approaching me face to face or virtually results in a whimpering "please go away, please go away, please go away" in my head. I don't want to be close to people who care about me because it just feels suffocating and I can't deal with it, even though I know they can probably help me.

    #Relationships #FamilyAndFriends #Trauma #PTSD #narcissisticabusesurvivor #EmotionalAbuse #MentalHealth #Depression #Anxiety

    2 people are talking about this
    Community Voices

    I think I'm losing my #Therapist again

    My therapist has been ghosting me this week and then she finally responded to me today saying that her mental health has been poor and that she's sorry for her absence. And that was it.
    Like, what do I do now? Are you telling me you are taking time off? That you'll be back tomorrow? That you can or cannot provide me with the support I pay you to provide??
    I am proud of myself for being assertive about my needs, but I also feel bad for piling on my therapist when she is obviously not doing well. But then I also think about how I as a professional have responsibilities to my clients, which includes monitoring my own mental health and managing my work load accordingly/slash communicating expectations. I know I don't always do it perfectly, and I don't expect perfection, but it would be nice not to feel like *I* need to support my therapist instead of the other way around.
    I haven't been coping very well with this situation today and have made some bad decisions because of it. It's hard to want to keep trying...

    #CheckInWithMe #Therapy #selfsabotage #Depression #Anxiety #PTSD #narcissisticabusesurvivor

    3 people are talking about this
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    Physical Anxiety is a really big PITA #narcissisticabusesurvivor #PTSD #Anxiety

    Today my physical anxiety has been the worst it has ever been. I’ve been on the verge of a panic attack all day. I’ve been shaking all day. I’m so fragile it’s incomprehensible to me. I don’t understand why this is happening. I’ve had no intrusive thoughts today and yesterday was a great day until the evening when this all started. It’s like now that I gained control of my mind, my body has decided to compensate for it. I don’t really know what to do. I feel as though this is like a mental health detox period. It’s the only thing I know to compare it to; a detox, I mean. Like I have to get sicker before I can get well. Has anyone experienced this?

    11 people are talking about this
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    A dream about my ex

    I just woke up from a dream about my ex. He is a narcissist. I have had no contact with him since 2013, but somehow he shows up in my dreams. I hate this!
    It feels like I can't fully break free from him even after such a long time. How is he still in my head?? How can I get him out?
    Not the start to 2022 that I wanted...

    #Dream #nightmare #Ex #NarcissisticPersonalityDisorder #narcissisticabusesurvivor #EmotionalAbuse #mentalabuse #spiritualabuse #Trauma #Depression #Anxiety #PTSD

    29 people are talking about this
    Community Voices
    Community Voices

    Depression and the daily routine

    I'm newly divorced, having survived a 20 yr marriage with a narcissistic, cheating husband. I have three kids. Im on two antidepressants and I still cannot function. I barely make it through work and by the time I get home, there is zero energy for cooking, cleaning etc. Every single thing is so overwhelming. Anyone havi g a similar experience? #Depression #narcissisticabusesurvivor

    Community Voices

    Going through a rough end of relationship with maybe one of my FPs

    This is my first post here cause i searched on how to deal with the end of a relationship for someone with BPD and i found this app :)
    I had to put an end to this relationship,that had become only a meeting for a night or two with a person i tried to and had a relationship many times,with a come and go that hurted me every time even more,creating a sort of dipendence by him.Also he has many narcissistic ways to bring me back to him. But now that there’s no coming back,i feel like i should be feeeling free and relieved by the lost of the weight of this toxic relationship,but in reality i’m not. I still feel like i’m not worthy of living anymore,that i need constant romantic validation.I hate myself for the fact that i couldn’t let him go sooner or that while he has already moved on i know that because of my BPD it will take my much a longer time.We were trauma bonded,and that i think was one of the many reasons things between us couldn’t work.
    I feel hopeless,like i lost myself,but i know that this feeling is temporary.
    I realized that i gave myself to him so much that i couldn’t give myself time to appriciate myself and love myself more. Dealing with these much intensity of emotions it’s feeling like it’s killing me,but because it’s my first time dealing with this kind of ending i really don’t know what to do and i’m looking for someone who can kinda give me some advice on moving on and giving myself love when i’m used to give my all to others :))

    love u all xx
    #BorderlinePersonalityDisorder #Breakups #bpdsymptoms #narcissisticabusesurvivor

    2 people are talking about this
    Community Voices

    New Community!
    [SpousalNarcissimAbuseSurvivors]
    Feel free to join and offer suggestions/ideas to help improve the page!

    <p>New Community!<br>[SpousalNarcissimAbuseSurvivors]<br>Feel free to join and offer suggestions/ideas to help improve the page!</p>