no

I’ve read so many posts about being a SURVIVOR, whether it’s a survivor of sexual, emotional, domestic, or childhood abuse. To be honest every person on the planet is a survivor of something. I’m a nurse, working in a major hospital, and I can tell you that I’ve seen plenty of terrible things that people have survived. Actually just the act of being born is being a survivor! I don’t want to be defined by either my mental health, or as a survivor of abuse. I want to be known as Eleanor. A unique person, like everyone else, who has a lot to offer the world not just the fact that she survived. #no more labels

#Dysthymia #BlackCloud #no hope
My friends, adult sons, family actually told me I'm crazy. Even my 90 year old mother. My two adult sons won't talk to me. When I tell people they think it's my fault because I act weird. If I do, it's the depression talking. . I'm depressed so no one wants to talk to me which makes me more depressed #Dysthymia #Paranoid #depressed #negative

Hi. My name is Terri. I'm 55 with a drinking problem. Not nearly as bad as it was. I found out I was bi polar and was self medicating...a lot. After years of trial and error meds and counseling I'm much better but still need that now monthly fix. I went for weight loss surgery got all my clearances EXCEPT psych. Go figure. Apparently I now have to abstain from alcohol for a year before she will clear me. Quite an unexpected bump in the road. I haven't had a drink since April 3rd an even that didn't agree with me ( lack of substance in my stomach) but that doesn't stop the cravings. That's where I need help. I want this surgery so bad and have worked hard for it so you would think not drinking would be easy. The decision not to drink is easy. Following through is killing me. Please help me out

Reading No-drama parenting. So far it’s a good read. No one (author) suggesting I let the chillin’s run wild and grow up like weeds, experiencing the world on their own terms. I’m on board with what I’m reading so far.
Having grown up in the era of “spare the rod, spoil the child”, and admittedly was a parent who incorporated that same disciplinary action with my four children, I see the error in that line of action. That’s not to say my children grew up to be bad adults, far from it. They are all successfully living lives in this world, but with some inherent problems courtesy of me.
Now I find I’m living with my youngest daughter and her family helping raise three of my eight grandkids. I have to admit, it’s more difficult at my age than it was in my twenties and thirties in many ways. But here I am, and I want to do it differently, better. Owning my mental health issues, working on not transferring them to my grandkids and helping them learn how to navigate problems they have. So hard for them to not get upset over things adults find to be so trivial, and still be loving and kind so they learn how to manage their emotions, be more cooperative, kind, considerate, and not try to kill anyone. Yes there are tears and some of those are mine, but it’s worth it, they’re worth it.

#no -dramaparenting

I went to a new doctor today hoping….praying…like a fool…that I might get help. My medication is making me SO sick and even more depressed. I literally can’t take it anymore. All the hurt, the abandonment and people not understanding….it’s exhausting….I can’t go into a hospital because I will loose my job…no job no insurance , no income. No family or friends. I don’t know or understand why I just can’t die.
#MajorDepressiveDisorder # #

Early and late the world the world is quiet and peaceful. Tonight I was woken by a storm sometime before three. We all know the story you lay there hoping you’ll be able to get back to sleep then eventually look at the clock or your phone to see where your at what amount of sleep your actually dealing with. Tonight is different though, I opened my windows to let in that fresh wonderful air you get with rainstorms, saw the thunder flashing through the sky and am such a place of peace and gratitude. I haven’t been able to write for quite awhile but am tonight. So yes I’m up but unlike the usual thoughts racing, what? What? Feeling all that needs to be accomplished, wasn’t finished yesterday, at least for now I’m in a place of peace. Enjoying the stars and my demanding baby cat Bowie who needs to be petted. Hope that everyone one else that’s also not sleeping is having a wonderful night.

#no sleep #Fibromyalgia
Last night was the first night I got to sleep in two days it was rough to sleep the flareups the last two days were tremendous I got through it throw. couple showers

#distraction has been my tool today.
#suns out! Watered my garden twice.
#took a good walk with neighbor n her service dog BEAR in the Sunshine.
#no obligations today just do what I want, when I want.