And then today my #BorderlinePersonalityDisorder takes me to the high ride of being intrigued and delusionally optimistic in my disorder....Like the crazy nightmares I have could actually make me millions and people would want to watch my torment and restlessness on the big screen... I should start writing and producing this shit; sci-fi and drama is most delicious, right? #Vividdreams And I'm weird as fuuuuck, but so was Andy Warhol!!
So I have always had weird and vivid dreams. But the other night I woke up hitting and pulling my hair screaming 'get out my head'. I haven't had dreams like this in almost a year, I thought I'd grown out of it... Ever since I was a kid I would wake up punching, biting, strangling myself. I would constantly wake up bruised and scratched.
Most of the time I wake up from my sleep and feel just as drained as I did before, just as tired and groggy. Almost like I haven't slept. But I find it so hard to wake up in the morning... I'll have to put alarms on for an hour before I wake up.
Does anyone know why this is happening?? Does this mean I'm attacking myself or do I think I'm someone else in my dreams? Any ideas how to help it?
So last night I had that reoccurring dream again where everyone I have ever been close to in any capacity just turns their back on me like they never even knew me. I mean everyone, good friends,ex lovers, even my own mother. Like they haven't a clue who I am. So here's me up for a messed up day trapped in my own damn feelings worried I am meaningless.... Thanx brain
I have vivid dreams and I always have. I used to think that I was experiencing earthquake or big trucks going by when I was little but it was all me. I would shake so bad my bed would move but it wasn’t from nightmares, I would just be awake and shaking. Sometimes it would be from ‘bad’ dreams but not ones that you would consider nightmares, no monsters or typical movie things, just normal dreams of life with every day problems that would make me wake up shaking. Like the teeth falling out one. I have a recurring dream from when I was a kid of my teeth falling out. Or those dreams where you step off something and your body does that jolt? Those put me into panic.
So as I kid and teen I didn’t understand this. I do now. This was all anxiety and I still have it today. Sometimes, if I’m lucky I’ll remember the dream and it’ll be easy to pull myself out of the panic, within about an hour I’m okay. Sometimes I don’t and those ones throw me for the whole day. I feel nauseous and dizzy and so off balance it’s brutal. I know anxiety is irrational but if I don’t even have an inkling on what triggered it I just can’t function cus I can’t get myself out.
The things we deal with.
The #Nightmares are back. They’ve been back since the beginning of this week. Haven’t slept well all week. I hate them because I always have #Vividdreams I started new anxiety/depression medication tonight. I’m hoping this will help me start sleeping better soon. #hanginthere
Does anyone have such vivid dreams that you remember the dreams more than you do every day life?
When you are awake do you constantly think about the dreams or nightmares questioning the meanings behind them and why they are so intense?
#dreams #Vividdreams #Sleep #Nightmares #BPD #BorderlinePersonalityDisorder #Depression #badsleep
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