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Could it be?

Could it be that our FP's merely represent something in our lives that we are missing? I'm not sure it was him but rather the pursuit (attention), the physical touch (comfort) and the security (protection) I was lacking. He gave it to me then took it away, baiting me, hooking me then throwing me back thus leaving me desperately fighting to get it all back. Sound familiar to anyone else?🐟🐟🐟#BorderlinePersonalityDisorder #FavoritePerson #whatif #coulditbe


What if you can delete The Past?

I might have this crazy idea ever since I got regrets or mistakes in my life, I just want to erase that moment which made me have regretted to decide, or when a time just everything have gone wrong.

I know you might not agree with my idea, but hey... it is something that could be fun to have! But still everyone can have a choice to erase it or don't do it at all if you feel like to keep it.. because you cannot redo it.

Yep, maybe that stupid decision we made or the vortex of problem we have been through was the wisdom in disguise, right.

Anyway, this is just a flash inspiration that I got from this Harry Potter scene, when Prof.Dumbledore put the memory in a bowl of something, I don't really remember the whole scene.

Wouldn't it be fun, when I can just pick my past and just delete it.

Feel free to say what you have in mind 😄

#justmaybe #whatif

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Anxiety and physical symptoms

I have suffered from Panic Disorder and Generalized Anxiety Disorder for a long time. Initially the symptoms that bothered me the most were the "mental" ones. I worried that the way I felt (unreal, depersonalization etc) meant that I was going to "go crazy." With a lot of counselling I was able mostly believe that those were typical panic symptoms and nothing catastrophic was going to happen to my brain.

But, just when I thought I might be 'better" my anxiety brain decided to become laser focused on any feeling of discomfort in my body that can't be explained by a recent injury and turn it into a serious health issue. I might clench my teeth in my sleep and wake up with jaw pain, and instead of accepting the pain as an anxiety symptom, I believe I am going to have a heart attack. I spend a number of hours a week - maybe 10? - waging a war inside my head between the 'but what if THIS TIME it really is a heart attack?" and the "you're so stupid, you have this conversation ALL the time." Eventually it passes, until the next time, and so far I haven't died, but it's just so very exhausting being scared all the time. Does anybody else have the same problems? Any advice on how to keep perspective while something like that is happening?

#PanicDisorder #whatif



What if

#whatif Today a came across something online that lit me up inside because I can apply it in my day to day. Derailing that anxious train in my mind with a positive thought like “what if it all works out?” I tried to today every time I felt my mind start to race and it gave replaced some (granted not all) dismal thoughts of despair with HOPE! It also reminded me I have reasons to be confident in myself and the hard work I do.

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University and the future

What if I'm going to school for something I won't physically be able to do? I am in college for small animal science. I want to work in the animal field with small and or wild animals. I am considering also going to vet school, but I'm afraid I won't be able to do this job. It involves long hours on my feet which I cannot do for multiple days in a row. But I can't imagine doing anything else. So am I wasting my time in school? Am I wasting money to go to Thailand this summer to work with dogs for a week and then elephants for another? Going to Thailand is such a wonderful opportunity for me but I am scared that I can't make for two weeks of constant work and walking... what do I do?
#ChronicPain #Pain #College #CMT #CharcotMarieToothDisease #future #whatif


What if I stopped asking ‘what if’?

Does the ‘what if’ question torment anyone else? I had an argument yesterday with my grandma because she deliberately did something to hurt my mom. She’s old but she’s certainly not fragile and my mom was devastated so I called my grandma out on it! I stand by my decision, she was SO in the wrong, and I’m proud of myself too because I have historically shied away from confrontation. However, ever since, and even though we smoothed things over before I left, I’ve been plagued by the question ‘what if she has a heart attack or something and it’s my fault’? #whatif #SelfDoubt #confrontation