confrontation

My last post about being rooted in the past, is still speaking to me. For some reason I feel a drive to move from my current town and home that I’ve known for 36 years! It won’t be easy, moving all our possessions and uprooting to the East Coast of the U.S. I’ve lived in the East though, for 19 years of my life. I’m quite certain I could do it again. My husband says he’s ok with it. He’s someone who grew up in California. Really, he vacillates on moving..I dislike the changes that have happened in our neighborhood..More ADU’s more traffic, people not taking care of property, people infringing on our property..I know there would be a whole set of new things to get use to in a new place, but Hopefully, overall it would be a change for the better. I’d like to be closer to my children (-even though one has written us off!) I’m just antsy for a new start, a new beginning, some where else..I could do this! My husband, not really. He’s too rigid in his ways, even though he’d move for me, he just can’t step outside the box or color outside the lines…#PTSD #change #Comfort married to a non-practicing alcoholic still causes #confrontation #freedom need a #New way, a new place to call #home I just feel I need this before I’m too old…

I absolutely hate conflict and avoid it at all cost. I know that’s not healthy. It seems if I do speak up my words never come out how they should and it just turns against me. So I keep my mouth shut. It’s making me physically ill. How do I find my voice?
#Conflict #confrontation #Relationships

My mother taught me a helpful memory tool for tackling difficult conversations and arguments. It's called Open The Front Door and it stands for Observe, Think, Feel, Do.

So for example I OBSERVE that this "_____" happened or you did this "_____". I THINK this happened or you did this because "_____". This made me FEEL "_____". I would appreciate it if you would DO this "_____" to remedy the situation or help me feel better.

Can help alleviate the #Anxiety of having these conversations if you have a clear plan of what you need to say. #Communication #confrontation

Does the ‘what if’ question torment anyone else? I had an argument yesterday with my grandma because she deliberately did something to hurt my mom. She’s old but she’s certainly not fragile and my mom was devastated so I called my grandma out on it! I stand by my decision, she was SO in the wrong, and I’m proud of myself too because I have historically shied away from confrontation. However, ever since, and even though we smoothed things over before I left, I’ve been plagued by the question ‘what if she has a heart attack or something and it’s my fault’? #whatif #SelfDoubt #confrontation