So after 12 months of working from home there is apparently no Covid in our state. The reason I was working from home is because I am asthmatic and previously a bad chest cold has sent me to hospital so I wasn’t chancing that with Covid. So now the state government has said it wants 100% of the workforce back at the office. But I don’t think anyone has taken into consideration the mental state of people after working from home for this long. I feel I get so much more done at home. I also complete tasks and “stay back” after my finish time as I don’t feel the need to rush off.
Since being told I am to come back my anxiety and depression has peaked. I am finding myself crying daily. The little jabs from coworkers saying “now you’ll have to get dressed” or “now you’ll actually have to do some work” that they find funny, hurt to think this is what they think I have been doing for the last year. It’s like they think I’ve had a year long holiday, not that I’ve spent the year in an anxious state concerned for my health.
#Anxiety #Depression #returntotheoffice #returntoworkaftercovid #Returntowork #COVID #Asthma #asthmatic #workstruggles #covidnormal #WorkplaceStress #workplacebullying #workplaceanxiety #Workplaceadjustments
I have had suicidal ideation for years. Not a day goes by that I do not think about suicide. Sometimes it's finances. Most of the time it's work related (and I have no idea why!!)
Today, my boss asked me if I cancelled a hotel room for her as the charge appeared on her card. I started freaking out thinking I forgot. I went through my emails to the agency but couldn't find a thing. Nothing. And I NEVER delete my emails. I have almost 22.214.171.124 emails stored in my archives.
I ended up emailing the travel agency to ask if she had any record of me cancelling and if not, could she call the hotel and see if the charge could be reversed. I left work without having heard back.
From that moment on, I could not - and cannot - stop thinking about what an idiot I am! I'm so stupid. How could I forget to cancel her room? She's going to be charged for it and she'll have to explain it to HER boss.
I feel horrible about myself and although this is not the only reason I'm feeling particularly harmful tonight it is the proverbial "straw that broke the camel's back".
I'm tempted to call our EAP provider but I've never called an EAP before and I'm not sure what to expect.
I'm not sure what to do...