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Bullies exist and can be any age

Had to deal with a client tonight who I dread having meetings with because I’ve never dealt well with bullies.
To explain, I deal with boards and committees; anyway this one client has board members who are ok but like pulling teeth getting things done. They have a committee that has one member who triggers me badly.
Mind you this is an adult. He finds the need to belittle and talk down whenever he can. And he knows “everything”. God forbid you correct him on something or inform him on legalities. He blithely disregards your input and goes on to do nothing but criticize.
Oh, he kisses the board’s butt and throws our company under the bus. We are at fault if he doesn’t get a callback from the board, if the board doesn’t get something done. I guess it’s our fault the sun didn’t shine today either.
I grew up being told bullies have problems they take it out on others for.
Well, this adult spent 45 minutes criticizing, bullying, talking down and belittling me (bringing on a few people on the call who listened to his lies to believe him). Unfortunately the board has voiced they feel he’s a bully too but they don’t speak up.
I’ve always had social anxieties and hate yelling, I have self image issues and it’s harder than anything for me to stand up for myself (I felt like just shutting down). I did manage to put him in his place to keep things moving (small victory) but I still feel like I just want to curl into a ball and cry.
Bullies exist and some never learn or grow up. They may get older but some just have no respect for anyone and feel better by making someone else feel smaller.
I was always told to never hate anyone. I’m sorry but I hate this person. I know it’s a drain but be is a cruel bully.
I just need to try to relax (heart racing though) and focus to get some sleep. #Anxiety #Bullying #workplacebullying #WorkplaceStress

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Returning to the office after 12 months working from home

So after 12 months of working from home there is apparently no Covid in our state. The reason I was working from home is because I am asthmatic and previously a bad chest cold has sent me to hospital so I wasn’t chancing that with Covid. So now the state government has said it wants 100% of the workforce back at the office. But I don’t think anyone has taken into consideration the mental state of people after working from home for this long. I feel I get so much more done at home. I also complete tasks and “stay back” after my finish time as I don’t feel the need to rush off.
Since being told I am to come back my anxiety and depression has peaked. I am finding myself crying daily. The little jabs from coworkers saying “now you’ll have to get dressed” or “now you’ll actually have to do some work” that they find funny, hurt to think this is what they think I have been doing for the last year. It’s like they think I’ve had a year long holiday, not that I’ve spent the year in an anxious state concerned for my health.

#Anxiety #Depression #returntotheoffice #returntoworkaftercovid #Returntowork #COVID #Asthma #asthmatic #workstruggles #covidnormal #WorkplaceStress #workplacebullying #workplaceanxiety #Workplaceadjustments


Should You Put a Traumatic Job on Your Resume?

I experienced a severely traumatic internship last summer, out of state from my hometown and away from my support system. (Please note: I do not use the term trauma lightly, as I suffer from PTSD because of this experience)

As I find myself updating my resume, I struggle to list it in my series of positions held. I dread the day someone asks me about it in an interview and I become triggered. I’m early enough in my career that it could really go either way and truly may or may not be the single breakthough bullet point in my career journey. On paper, it’s impressive because I recurved the postion immediately following my university graduation, but the postion was abusive at worst and uneducational at best.

What do you recommend?
#Trauma #Workplace #WorkplaceStress #Internship #Job #Advice


Where are you!?!

I seem to have lost myself. Even using the word "myself" fills me with sadness, everything i write or read seems wrong, not in a "disturbed reality" wrong but in a confused state wrong.

I'm not the person i was, i used to be able to motivate myself and now i am stuck. I used to be akin to "happy."

I have PTSD and recently my mind has been filled with traumatic flashbacks...You can imagine the hyper arousal, the anxiety, the panic attacks without a trigger.

In work i am bullied and i am an "adult" i SHOULD be able to stand up for myself, i am a trained martial artist for f**k sake!
Yet i am bullied and bullied in such a way that it's hidden, it's done in a way that is subtle and it's done in a way where the person pretends to build you up and then destroys you.
I don't hold this person in any regard at all which is why i don't buy into her brand of narcissistic bullshit. It hurts because i can't seem to assert myself, I've always found it difficult to do.
The last thing i need is to be re-traumatised in work.

#mentalhealth #PTSD

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Advice for working with anxiety

One of my managers at my restaurant job makes me rather anxious. If I make a mistake that he sees, he’ll explain what to do next time, even if he’s told me before. Now when I see him, my anxiety about being told off distracts me and makes me more likely to mess up. Consequently, I’m making most of my mistakes in front of that manager, and becoming more wary of him in turn. This loop is starting to hurt my work performance when my anxiety makes my brain fog. Any advice on how to handle this? #Advice #Anxiety #Work #irrationalanxiety #WorkplaceStress #SocialAnxiety



I feel a lot of anxiety because people were talking about abortions and I was saying how I’m triggered by it and they responded ‘why would you be triggered? You can control your reactions.’

I’m at a bad stage in my mental health. It’s very hard for to control my reactions. I can’t see a therapist right now because my health insurance is still pending after six months.

Also I had an abortion. Anyone who’s had one is allowed to be triggered by the news. It’s shitty what’s going on. And to be reminded of that every day is triggering for anyone who still hasn’t come to terms with what’s happened.

I told a few people at work because I went to the back and cried. And I feel anxiety like I over shared or overreacted, but their words hurt me. Even if they specifically did not know that about me.

#CheckInWithMe #BorderlinePersonalityDisorder #GeneralizedAnxietyDisorder #Abortion #Insomnia #Anxiety #Depression #WorkplaceStress

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What would you do if your workplace offered to jump through hoops to accommodate your anxiety? #Anxiety #SocialAnxiety #noise #WorkplaceStress

Management at work knows about my anxiety. They’ve seen me have a couple of quiet non-disruptive attacks and have offered to help in any way they can, including moving me to an unpopulated quieter part of the office. I turned them down at first, but today the office is so noisy I can barely stand it. It sounds like people are screaming at each other from my perspective. I cannot comprehend emails nor remotely begin to formulate a response. I am here to work and I get anxious when I can’t work, getting behind. Should I take them up on their offer to move me? Would it be antisocial?


#WorkplaceStress Should I report to the state?

A coworker started getting incredibly rude to me after my first solo shift and after he yelled at me in front of customers I knew I wasn’t just taking his attitude the wrong way, I ended up reporting it and just asking that they either talk to him about it or at the very least just be aware of what is happening, now I’m only getting one shift a week.

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Confronting people who trigger your C-PTSD #CPTSD #AnxietyTriggers #WorkplaceStress #Workplace

I am trying to find the words to confront a woman at work who triggers my C-PTSD. She speaks so loudly, she can be heard across the office, 30 feet away, over a white noise machine and the rest of our coworkers. Five other coworkers have come to me about her volume level because I was her trainer. I casually mentioned her noise level; I wrote her a reminder in a weekly evaluation; and I’ve told her how loud she is. She uses her lack of hearing in one ear as her excuse. However, I think it stems more from working in a retail home improvement store for 15 years and not making an effort to adjust to an office environment. I also know her habits from training her. She had very little short term memory. Every Monday was like the movie 50 First Dates—she forgot steps she had been doing for weeks.
This woman has to be on the phone all day. I sit on the other side of a cubicle wall so I get the worst of it. I has a close relationship with our managers so I pleaded with them to switch her desk with another girl in the department who requested a desk change—thinking this was a win-win solution. The manager who would have to tell the girls to switch desks didn’t want to confront them. So I asked for my desk to be moved, and it will be, but it could take another year. Because not only do I need my own cubicle, I have to have an empty cubicle where trainees can sit temporarily.
I’ve gone to my manager asking for help because besides the volume being a trigger, I have been given new assignments to create training modules —which takes my all of focus to do. Our company has a philosophy—we should speak in a caring but candid manner. I have been searching for the right words for two weeks to convey my dilemma to this woman but I know, saying something will likely create tension. In the mean time, i am coping with using headphones with my iPhone turned up to 90% of the max volume to drown her out. The problem with headphones is, company policy is to use only 1–not both headphones. I wish more people would understand—besides this woman just being obnoxiously loud, my anxiety goes through the roof when I can’t concentrate. It’s because my abusive mother was an undiagnosed, unmedicated, schizophrenic who talked to herself 24/7 despite my need to focus on homework as a child.


Too sensitive.

I am doing an internship this year on a foreign country, however I work with 8 people from mine. I try to get along with them, I try to be funny and do some jokes, but I always end up being the one who is too sensitive. They say “why do you feel bad about everything?” ... I don’t know how to explain it... I just do. Today I was making clear that I didn’t feel comfortable in a situation with a coworker and she just said to others “don’t mind her, she is in a bad mood as always.” I tried not to do a big deal out of this but I ended up crying in the washroom of my laboratory. I don’t know how to handle this. After that... she sent a “toxic people in the workplace” post to our lab group. I feel defeated. I slept only for four hours even with medication because I woke up thinking about it and immediately looking for help from therapy, books or the internet... I ended up joining this community. I know that I’m not perfect, I try to be the best I can be, but it’s never enough.... I’m always too sensitive. #Anxiety #WorkplaceStress