abusivebehavior
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I’m a terrible wife #angryanxiety #abusivebehavior #BipolarDisorder #Outbursts #Anxiety - #Marriage
My poor husband. He is getting abused by my doing. I’ve had the worst two weeks. I feel a mess. My anxiety is high and my moods have been like a yo yo. Up and down constantly these past two weeks. I feel sick at how I have acted toward my husband. I’ve screamed at him countless times. I apologize but the outburst have been over the top. Help!
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The hardest thing about healing from my emotional abuse
I thought the hardest thing would be learning to separate my real self from the version of myself born out of abusive words and tones.
I thought maybe learning when to walk away would be the hardest. I thought maybe living under the same roof full time would be the hardest.
But I never considered that the hardest thing could be something as “simple” as letting go.
It isn’t simple, is it?
No. It’s so complex and tangled and hard.
I’ve learned how to recognize the cycle of abuse and I make damn sure that I take responsibility for my mistakes, and my accidental harsh tones, and my words said in anger.
It is too much to ask that the same be given to me?
Is it too much to want to be heard?
If you would just listen, I would tell why we are broken.
Every time I get triggered, I feel like a 7 year old again, and even though I have told you, you will never understand, because you will never want to.
The hardest thing about healing has been having to accept that what happened was wrong. How I was treated and spoken to was wrong. And even though I deserve that apology, and I deserve closure, I will never get it.
Everyone sees a parent and child that are happy together. And I think that even you see that most of the time. I want to to see that too, I do.
But I don’t know if I am ever going to be okay with the idea of you never taking responsibility for what you did to me.
How am I supposed to let go of something that I will never get closure for?
#EmotionalAbuse #closure #PTSD #abusivebehavior #ChildhoodEmotionalAbuse
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My woman left me #SeparationAnxiety
#ItsOKMan I just had my partner, ie my fiancé, leave to move across the country. We love each other but we fight too hard to live together at this time. #BPDPartners #ADHD I want to maintain the relationship and so dors she. I struggle so much with my ADhD and her BpD combines in a perfect storm scenario when we are both frustrated. 95% we are lovely to each other. I feel so anxious with her gone now and myself alobe to face my adhd. I fear if I can manage it alone. I can literally no longer blame her now. #abusivebehavior is not excusable. i need to learn better coping skills and i need to maintain my passion so that I can be successful with this adhd-brain of mine. Any helpful words? #ADHD #Relationships
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