Controlling

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    Question

    AITA? My Comfort vs. My Boyfriend's

    AITA? My boyfriend and I have been together for almost 30 years, and I've wanted out of it most of that time. When we'd be in his car when we'd go out and he had the air conditioning too high for me, I'd be freezing, which increased my need to pee, made me more nervous and anxious, and if I was on my period, I'd get cramps, often really bad ones. When I'd ask him to turn the air conditioning down, he'd say he was driving, and he needed the cold air to stay awake. That's reasonable, I guess.

    When I'd be cold at home, however, he'd always tell me to "put on more layers." He preferred cooler temperatures to warmer because, as he said, "You can always put on more layers, but you can only take off so many." I found that flawed, because I thought it would be fair to take turns or equally have times when he gets to be more comfortable, and times when I get to be more comfortable.

    Now, in the motel, he usually has it too hot. Right now is one of those times. He says in a very dominant voice that he isn't going to turn up the air conditioning (I'm the one who's usually too hot these days; I'm in menopause, and I'm morbidly obese), and I reminded him he's always said when it's too cold, you can put on more layers. He told me I could take off a layer. I'm only wearing a nightgown and incontinence underwear. Naked, I would stick to myself, and my OCD wouldn't like that. Am I wrong for expecting him to put on more layers, so I can be comfortable? It's hard to sleep when I'm hot. #Anxiety #Depression #OCD #menopause #Controlling #hotflashes

    Post

    I Don't Get It #ObsessiveCompulsiveDisorder #Anxiety #Depression #hotflashes #Boyfriend #Abuse #Controlling

    I'm going to briefly ask about two things I don't understand about my boyfriend. Am I being unreasonable?

    1. My boyfriend let me get dinner at Cracker Barrel yesterday. However, after I got back much later, he hadn't gotten me any snacks. I feel weak if I don't have a little something extra later.

    2. I'm in menopause. My boyfriend has almost always put his comfort above mine. What I find odd in regards to me being hot while he complains of being chilly (it used to be the other way around most of the time) is, when *I* complain about being cold or hating cold weather, he says all you have to do is put on more layers. I hate putting on more. It restricts my movement and it's uncomfortable. So, why, when he's chilly, doesn't he put more layers on and letting me be more comfortable?

    Post
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    When alleviating boredom/loved ones need recovery program

    They say loved ones need their own recovery program when their loved one achieves sobriety. I am sooo bored at the moment. I’d like to run errands but my car is on the fritz and my #narcissistic #Emotionally /psychologicallyabusivespouse refuses to let me touch his car—because I might ding it. A valid concern if I was still actively misusing substances, but my going-on 20 years of #Sobriety make no difference to this #narcissist . This car scenario has happened countless times; how convenient for my #Emotionallyimmature #Controlling #narcissist !
    Sigh. Well, I’m a documentary freak; just found a very inexpensive documentary streaming site—I hope brain-food alleviates my boredom.🤟🏾😀 #substancemisuseisorder #Bipolar1 #GAD #Depression #emotionalpsychologcalabuse
    #PTSD #ADDADHD

    Post

    Controlling Mother

    I am now 41 years old. My mom almost always points out what I'm doing wrong or what I should or shouldn't do. I have a full time job. My house is paid for. I'm also a single mother to my 15 year old son. I used to had to depend on her for help with him until this past year. I have a boyfriend now. We have been dating a little over a year now. He has a 12 year old daughter. My mom thinks that he is pushing me to let him move in with me. Sure we have discussed it but it hasn't happened yet. I'm not letting anyone pressure me into doing something that I don't want to do. She questions everything that I do. She finds fault with almost anything I do. None of my choices are good enough for her. I love my mom, I really do. I just cannot handle her being so critical of my every decision and every move I make. I honestly don't know what to do because anytime I bring it up it starts an argument between us. She then starts with the poor pitiful me act and turns the whole thing against herself by saying she can't do anything right or make anyone happy. I'm at a loss! Any opinions, suggestions, and or ideas are much appreciated!#narcissisticmom #narcissist #narcissiticmother #mother #Controlling #NotGoodEnough

    Question

    Sign of a #relationship / #Marriage change for the better?

    #friend who was severely #isolating herself following her #rushed #Marriage is now, suddenly talking to people, including me, an old friend, very friendly.

    Not sure why the rapid change.

    #Toxic #toxicrelationship #ToxicMarriage #Controlling #Isolation #Depression

    Post

    #boredom?# depression? how do you know the difference? #

    All the years of #chaos has settled and now my life has reached a place of temporary- hopefully- placidity...but I’m finding myself bored and depressed... or bored...or depressed. I feel lonely and I’m not sure why.
    I don’t know why after all the years I wished for peace, it’s finally here and I don’t know what to do with it. I don’t know where I fit in a world that does not consist of trauma, and rage, and abuse, and neglect. I don’t know what is normal or wrong...what is #Controlling or concern. I don’t know what is someone giving you space, or someone not caring.
    I’m lingering in an unknown universe that despite what I read- isn’t scary- it’s boring.
    I don’t want my old life back. I want to know how to fit into this new life (#howtofitintomynewlife ) Please help with any stories or ideas.

    Question

    Is this a sign of a #Controlling #Marriage #relationship ??

    Friend’s new husband (short #relationship , #rushed marriage) has made her sell her home, which is adjacent to her workplace, and buy/move into a house far across town, long commute for her, but very close to his place of work.

    Seems #unfair #relationship , he’s thinking of his own comfort, not prioritizing hers.

    Question

    How can I help a #friend #coworker who seems #depressed and is #isolating herself.

    She #discarded me as a #friend many months ago when she entered a #rapid #relationship and got #married . Now she seems more and more #Upset and #depressed , #isolating herself in her office, no conversations with anyone. All of us in office are very concerned.

    #Controlling #Toxic #relationship

    Post

    #toxicrelationship #Controlling #BipolarDisorder #Borderline

    I was diagnosed with bipolar disorder in 2011 and by then I started dating my recent ex, when she got the news she was very supportive and we even had a few couples therapy sessions to great benefit, until I changed my medication...
    The doctor told me that before I started the treatment with lithium I had "prepare" my brain with a drug called 'Seroquel", a mood stabilizer, quite a strong one, it brought me some terrible symptoms like insane appetite, and this was in a time next to a 70 pound weight loss, so let's just say I wasn't too happy about it.
    Anyways, although she was supportive, she was also very controlling, and we'd always had the longest fights about me going out with friends or spending too much time in my mom's house, which wasn't even that much, but we work together cooking so that annoyed a whole lot, amongst other petty discussions, name calling and constant nagging, it was bound to fail, and to add insult to injury, she'd cheated on me with a married man and claimed "it was just a fling", since I was in a moment in which I couldn't consider being dumped because I, like many people thought I couldn't live without her, so more expensive therapy and years of struggle later, I've finally decided to put an end to it.
    The breakup details don't matter, but ever since it happened, I've put myself on a journey of self knowledge, love, and respect. I've met all the friends I wanted, enjoyed excellent meals (which I cook myself and share with friends, one of my favorite things to do!)
    I've also rediscovered my routine, I've been going to new places whenever I want, heck, I've even washed the dishes AND cleaned the whole house voluntarily just because I had the energy to do so and no one was nagging me to do it constantly and in unconventional times.
    A question that I'm getting a lot from dear friends and family who care it's the good old "How are you feeling?", and for the first time after a breakup I could answer it honestly and enthusiastically with an almost musical "I'm great!".
    I'm not saying everyone should end their relationship and rediscovered themselves wether they're in a toxic relationship is not, the idea is to help people see the red flags, get knowledge, counseling, and mental health so they can like me, discover that loving oneself is the first lesson to learn, and it comes from something RuPaul says: "If you can't love yourself, how the hell are you gonna love someone else?"
    Hope I could help, wish everyone all the mental and physical health in the world and remember that whenever things get rough, they can only go uphill from then, happy holidays!

    Question

    ?sign of a #Controlling #relationship

    Have a #coworker who recently got #married to previously #unmarried #Older man, very #rapid #relationship .

    Now she has #cutoff many #Friends and #Coworkers . When he comes to #Office to pick her up for lunch, neither stops to say hello to coworkers.

    #ToxicMarriage #ToxicRelationships #Controlling #Partner #spouse #husband #AbusiveRelationship