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I’m new here!

Hi, my name is DiagnosingDazzle. I've been diagnosed with EDS, POTS, chronic Migraines, Fibromyalgia, Hypothyroidism, Arthritis, Cystic Acne, Hidradenitis Suppurativa, ADHD predominantly inattentive, Bipolar I with psychotic features, BPD, HPD, Complex PTSD, and Alcoholism and Substance Use Disorder in Early Remission. I'm here to learn more about my diagnoses, share my experiences and connect with others I can relate to, and exchange support.

#MightyTogether #BipolarDisorder #BorderlinePersonalityDisorder #Migraine #Fibromyalgia #PTSD #ADHD #intro

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Last photo

This is my precious daughter posing with Dr. Now (600 pound life) at a Buckees on the road from Austin (Texas).
It's the last photo of my daughter.
She passed away 3 years ago today, from heart failure, due to chronic alcoholism.
Mightys, if you have someone in your life, who is struggling with addiction, remember that your love won't save that person.
Melinda was loved by friends and family, however, it wasn't enough. Because she felt undeserving of our love. She had a wonderful husband, however she'd say that she didn't deserve his love either.
She was a pet groomer.
I like to think that she's in Heaven, surrounded by the animals she loved. And finally happy.
I miss you, my precious child. I remember giving birth to you, a healthy eleven pound baby.
I had to send your father home to get bigger tee shirts for you, because you couldn't fit into newborns.
I used to sing "you are my sunshine, my only sunshine" as I rocked you to sleep. You and I sang duets and you sang Patsy Cline songs. We (snow) skied together. I took you to CATS on your 16th birthday.
You grew into a lovely young woman.
But alcohol was already tightening its grip on you. And we were powerless. We celebrated your victories and were there for your defeats. We never gave up.
Melinda dear, I believe that you are finally happy, however I'll never stop loving and missing you. I don't need a 'sign' to know that you're finally happy. Because I know you are.
Peace out.

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Overcoming regret and shame?

Does anyone else feel like they've wasted years of their life? (Whatever that means to you: whether it was an addiction, or feeling stuck in a situation or relationship, or just not moving forward in your goals. )

Do you ever stop mourning the years you've lost? What are practical ways that you can learn to forgive yourself and move forward?

#Depression #DepressiveDisorders  #Anxiety  #Addiction  #ObsessiveCompulsiveDisorder #MentalHealth #Alcoholism #AlcoholAbuse

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Today's trauma

I am an adult child of dysfunction and alcoholism. I have move almost 600 miles away from my family to a different state in order to preserve my sanity. It was a smart decision to leave my hometown.
My daughter is an only child of a mentally ill mother and an addict for her father. Her dad and I split 10 years ago.
I am asking for prayers and good vibes... she is struggling to find her voice. She is a great kid. I'm blessed to get to be her mom.

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I'm new here!

Hi, my name is Kerinasn. I'm here because

#MightyTogether #Anxiety #Depression #BipolarDisorder #PTSD #ADHD #Addiction #Alcoholism

I'm hoping to be able to share my experiences and learn from others so that we can break the stigmas and grow stronger together

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Endless trying

I saw this shirt and I thought it was funny because many people with mental health issues go through this… and so do I. Its endless trying things, new pills, changing therapist, groups…. I continue to struggle with depression, anxiety, and alcoholism…. Its been over 10 years…. #AlcoholDependence #Depression #Anxiety #MentalHealth

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Echoes Through Time: The Unyielding Strength of a Fractured Soul

In a world that often seemed devoid of constants, my life began under the watchful eye of an aged father whom was 80 years old at my and a troubled mother. My father, a man whose years spanned eight decades, brought me into a life that was anything but ordinary. My mother, a woman battling her own demons, set the stage for a childhood rife with turmoil and confusion.

The early years were a chaotic tapestry, woven with threads of my mother’s alcoholism and erratic behavior. Memories of being mocked and exposed as a toddler during her drunken states are etched deeply in my psyche, leaving behind a trail of emotional scars. My siblings, entangled in their own struggles with drugs, legal issues, and the aftermath of a dysfunctional upbringing, offered little refuge from the storm.

My father, the pillar of faith and a beacon of hope, left us too soon and to my eyewitness. His passing in 2007 was a silent thunderclap, echoing through the void he left behind. His absence was a harbinger of even darker days, as my mother’s addiction spiraled out of control. I found myself repeatedly on the phone with emergency services, trying to save her from herself, a role reversal no child should ever have to face. I grew up quick. No time to be a child, these people need me to intervene to save them.

Unfortunately, the misfit parents launched me into

The foster system, where I sought sanctuary, only perpetuated the cycle of abuse and neglect. It was in these moments of despair that I learned the harshest truths about trust and betrayal.

Beaten in the foster homes, and physical and verbal abuse continued. I got back to my regular home after my mother managed to get it together long enough to fool the interviews and got us back. My father was too old to care for us they said, but, little did they know placed me into an more dangerous place furthering my trauma. When I arrived back after 6 months, That is when my father passed. I knew i would do anything to save my mother after witnessing my father's passing at 9. As I reflect, I was lied too, manipulated, verbally abused, and the actual scapegoat of everyone. Yet, I still chose kindness too each and every person. I remained in the environment with the choice to leave to a better future, having an insight that my time with my mother would be short-lived.

But it was in her final days that my mother uttered a truth that pierced through the years of deceit and manipulation. As we prepared to say our final goodbyes, she confessed with a sincerity and fear I had never heard before, "I will never drink again." Her words, laden with a tragic irony, were the only true ones she ever spoke, as she passed away the very next day. This moment, a twisted lesson from the universe, became a catalyst for my own vow to renounce alcohol forever.

Emerging from the shadow of my mother’s legacy, I ventured into a relationship that mirrored the only love I knew – chaotic and tumultuous. Yet, after six tumultuous years, I found the resolve to step away, to seek a healthier path. I did so, and we are back together with a better understanding of behaviors that will not be tolerated. We are happy, and nothing but positive interactions since then. I hope it stays that way, but I am strong enough to leave at moment. A choice is all we have. My choice today was to share my story with you guys.

After 20 years of hell, my life is getting better at the age of 27.

I have accomplished the following:

Within one year of joining the workforce, I was promoted to Front Office Manager. During my time, I set records that nobody has hit before. 2 years later, I was promoted to assistant general manager.

I was selected among my peers as an emerging leader, and I just graduated in December my companies year long emerging leaders program. During this program, I gave a presentation on recognition, and offered perspective on peoples escape from traumatic homes into what we as leaders have the power to create a loving positive atmosphere, and how each leader in this room has the power to make or shape someones life in a good or bad way. Some people work to escape. Some people have never been taught to cope. That person who works hard everyday smiling you did not know that he just lost everything and is struggling to keep it together and stay alive, and that good job you told him kept him going that day.

People won't remember what you did for them, but they will remember how you made them feel. I will never let anyone under my watch undergo what I did, and I will be a voice for the voiceless, and an spotlight for the wicked. I will continue to do good and treat people kindly despite a world cruel and seemingly twisted. I had a friend reach out to me, and say he was extremely sorry for how he treated me growing up. I just thought it was normal to be treated as such in friendships. I forgive him. Society has a way of making you do things you don't want to do for fun or enjoyment. I hold no ill feelings towards anyone who has done me wrong, for they have contributed to the being i am today. Interactions good or bad. I forgive all, and may they find happiness in their life as I seek today.

As I reflect on these accomplishments these past five years even in the face of losing my mother, I have never once told myself good job and instead I focused on what's next. As I pause and reflect, I think, What am i doing this for? Who am I trying to impress? If I fail, its only me that sees. The feeling to call your mother or father when you accomplish something is part to do as to why I feel like an empty shell of a being after this life has tossed and twisted me. My mothers sudden passing, well, she got it easy. She didn't have to deal with any of the consequences of her actions upon me. While the hardships have ended, the ability to form simple relationships and not feel paranoid that they are using MLB or that people are out to get me, has not faded. But you know what? It didn't get the best of me. And so the battle of hardship has completed, now begins a journey of healing. Undoing years of this. I figure i won't be fully healed for another ten years. Its ok to not be a normal contributor some days.

I feel like I don't have much time to actually relish on the happy moments. C-PTSD has caused me to rush to fulfill a full life and get old and pass away. I need to be in the moment. My ability to form relationships with full trust has been compromised, but, I'm trying each day. My mental illness makes my leadership more complicated and riskier to the corporate structure, but I'll tell you what I lead with more empathy and understanding then those I lead can ever know the grasp of.

The emptiness I feel each day, I will try to fill with the positive impact I create. While I can't fix the people my mother's wrath created, I can however stop the cycle and be so kind to a world so cruel that it makes an actual impact.

Heres to filling our stomachs back up.

thank you for reading, and may you find happiness and joy today. Fill your stomachs back up one glass at a time.

-tb

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How to help an alcoholic without hurting yourself

Part 1 of 2 In this article, you’ll find practical ideas to help you:

Understand the biggest needs of someone suffering from alcoholism

Distinguish between helping vs enabling

Encourage a loved one to seek treatment

Before discussing this topic in detail, it’s important for you to understand a hard truth about having a loved one suffering from alcoholism: It is not within your power to fix or cure this person. Recovery requires cooperation on the part of the person dependent on alcohol, a decision that things need to change radically. Once someone has become addicted, the goal of “cutting down” on alcohol is a lie that often enables the person to continue alcohol abuse and all its painful consequences. Accordingly, breaking addiction begins when a person recognizes his or her alcohol dependence and agrees that it needs to end.

The Biggest Needs of a Person with Alcohol Addiction

It goes without saying that the biggest need of an alcoholic is recovery. Alcoholism not only damages the health of the addicted but risks financial problems stemming from the behavioral problems (e.g. inconsistency at work, excessive absenteeism, etc.) associated with the disease. The problems of alcoholism also extend beyond the person suffering from the addiction. Common alcoholic behaviors such as drunk driving put the welfare of others in harm’s way.

Substance abuse in any form is a health risk. With respect to alcohol, addiction can produce a variety of medical problems from high blood pressure and heart disease to problems with liver function. An alcoholic may begin to skip meals or otherwise eat poorly. If an alcoholic has not yet agreed to treatment, you should still encourage a health diet, proper nutrition, and regular medical check-ups.

An understanding of alcoholism is another extremely important need for an alcoholic. Family and friends who have self-educated on alcoholism will avoid:

Blaming themselves for an alcoholic’s drinking

Making excuses for a loved one’s drinking or covering it up

Believing common lies alcoholics tell themselves (and others) to justify their drinking

Behaving in a way that is problematic around an alcoholic (such as drinking in their presence or leaving alcohol in a place where it is easily accessible)

Financially supporting an alcoholic so he or she may continue drinking despite losing employment due to compulsive drinking

The Importance of Self-Care for the Family & Friends of an Alcoholic

Alcoholism, like many other illnesses, affects not only a person who suffers from the condition but also the loved ones within his or her life. Addiction can manifest itself in innumerable ways that hurt those around the person dependent on alcohol. Most notably, typically loved ones spend an extreme amount of effort and energy on the alcoholic to address consequences of drinking and perform obligations that the alcoholic failed to perform. In this scenario, self-care can fall by the wayside.

If you have someone in your life struggling with alcoholism, remember to maintain a self-care routine to preserve your physical and emotional health. Consider the following self-care practices:

Attending a support group for people with alcoholic loved ones (e.g. Al-Anon)

Getting regular sleep

Exercising

Regularly pursuing activities you enjoy (e.g. movies, concerts, museums, sports events)

Obtaining therapy if you struggle with feelings of depression or regret or fear

Writing your feelings in a journal

Maintaining a healthy diet

Understand Alcoholism Goes Beyond Drinking

Alcohol addiction has a host of negative behaviors associated with it because alcohol affects the way the brain functions. Some of the activities that may occur during alcoholism include:

Spending money on alcohol that was meant for the family (e.g. food, gas, insurance, savings, etc.)

Lying about quitting alcohol or lying about the extent of drinking

Failing to control anger or impulsive behavior

Engaging in reckless behavior such as drunk driving

Losing inhibitions while drunk and engaging in promiscuity

Acting in a manipulative or secretive manner

During therapy, alcoholics are encouraged to recognize these behaviors and work on replacing them with healthier ways of behaving that preserve important relationships and build trust.

Helping an Alcoholic vs. Enabling an Alcoholic

Loved ones wish to protect an alcoholic from the dangerous consequences of this addiction. This is especially true when the alcoholic is a son or daughter, though it can equally apply to a spouse. Unfortunately, this protective instinct can transform into enablement of addiction because it creates an environment where the personal costs of addiction are reduced for the person

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How to help an alcoholic without hurting yourself

Part 2 of 2 dependent on alcohol.

Loved ones can enable alcoholism when they:

Deny that problem drinking has become alcoholism

Believe they are capable of curing another person’s alcoholism

Take over the responsibilities (e.g. financial, parental, etc.) of the person dependent on alcohol

Make excuses for an alcoholic’s drinking and drinking-related problems

There are a variety of online educational materials on alcoholism and local meetings for the loved ones of alcoholics. These resources can not only help people steer clear of enabling addiction but also help them cope with the emotional burdens attending the alcoholism of a loved one. They can also provide practical guidelines for dealing with an alcoholic. For example, instead of offering money to pay the bills when an alcoholic loses employment, you can offer to pay for a stay at a detox center.

The Need for Dialogue

The road to recovery begins with open and honest conversations. Since an alcoholic may be ashamed of his or her behavior, telling them what to do (“Stop drinking now”) may not be as effective as asking a series of questions that can lead to an honest discussion about recovery. Begin with openness and end with a discussion of treatment options including detox. Below is an illustration of how these questions can progress.

When you started drinking, what did you like about it?

What kept you drinking?

What are the things about drinking now that you dislike?

What would make you want to quit drinking?

What are the hardest things about being sober?

What are the things you would appreciate in a treatment center if you went to one?

If I get some information on different treatment centers, will you be willing to review the materials with me?

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Alcoholism and stigma

I am celebrating 22 months sober as a recovering alcoholic. People look at me when I tell them and say, I didn't know you had a problem. Well, unless you see someone on a regular basis at their home environment, you may not know. I suspect my issues with alcohol stem from a lack of moderation in general rather than an addiction to alcoholism per se. But the result is the same in either case. Excessive money spent, hangovers, concerns about health, etc. Having to change my job title at work to avoid standing near an alcohol display, just so I don't get in the headspace of buying it.

I know quite a few people will have a problem but they don't want to knowledge it. They'll think oh I drink a lot but I don't drink everyday therefore I don't have a problem. I'm not addicted to it I'm not dependent on it. I was never physically dependent on alcohol. Yet I drank excessively and was not able to control myself in any meaningful way. Alcoholics anonymous was my salvation and still is. The 12 steps helped to change how I view alcohol and better my life. I have no regrets about giving up alcohol. If you're reading this and you think you might have a problem get help. There's no shame in admitting it. A lot of alcoholics are still in denial. I know I was. Three times I came to the realization I had an issue but I didn't take steps to help myself. It wasn't until I threw up all over my apartment that I realized I need to stop. But the tragedy was I couldn't get help from i outpatient counseling because I had Tricare as one of my insurances. AA was my only option. I will be forever grateful to them.

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