Alcoholism

Hi, my name is ZigZac. I'm here because

#MightyTogether #Addiction #Alcoholism #PTSD #Depression #Anxiety #AtaxiaTelangiectasia #ADHD

So, I already knew I was an alcoholic. I didn't think I was in denial. But I also didn't really think I was bad enough that I needed to stop... not yet. I was thinking I could wait a little longer, and just cut back. I had, in fact, been doing this with moderate success. I figured, I can take it at my own pace and there's no rush.

I was totally wrong. Last week, I started vomiting uncontrollably and forcefully. Soon, I began to see blood in it. I couldn't stop. I had to stay lying on my side, with a bucket next to the bed so I could lean over and throw up in it. Even a sip of water would come right back up. I didn't even understand where it was all coming from, since I figured there couldn't be anything left in my stomach.

It turned out I had torn my esophagus, and was bleeding into my stomach. This was what continued to come up.

I went to the ER and was then admitted to the hospital, where I was hooked up to two IVs, through which I was given many bags of fluids and several medications for nausea and withdrawal. Once my physical health was stabilized, I was discharged with appointments at a clinic for addiction and mental health treatment.

My last drink was the day before I entered the hospital. I am a severe alcoholic and I absolutely cannot drink ever again, because it might kill me.

I'm sorry to be so graphic, but it's important to me to be honest about this. I assume it will be censored if any staff here feel that it's too much.

#Addiction #Alcoholism

I lost them to "God".

I lost them to alcoholism. And then I lost them to the grift that is AA and Alanon.

I lost them to "The Secret", manifesting emptiness and more grifting.

I lost them to crystals, outdated planetary positions, forgotten signs in favor of trends, and "healing light".

I lost them to sickness and death because they didn't believe in science.

I lost them to racism.

I lost them to MAGA

I lost them to Capitalism, Patriarchy and the status quo.

I lost them to Zionism.

Sickness and Death are normal and as humans we learn to cope with the natural losses life brings.

Losing someone to harmful propaganda is like being surrounded by zombies capable of making one choice: to sacrifice their empathy and critical thinking just so they, as an individual living in a human society, can FEEL good regardless (and in some cases in spite of) of how it affects others.

I'm so tired of grieving the loss of other people's empathy, the demise of critical thinking and basic humanity around me.

#Loss #CPTSD #Grief #emotionalprose #Reflections

Hi, my name is WorthWonderWellness. I'm here to share my recovery from Bi Polar 1 in the 80s. I had my first life changing episode in 1983, was diagnosed in 1984 and spent the next 4 years trying and learning all I could to restore my balance. I had 3 scary hospitalizations on the psyche ward and a number of jarring mixed episodes that could have qualified for hospitalization. However by 1989 I healed from my bipolar symptoms and behaviors. I took medication until 1987 but there wasn't nearly as much available back then and my side effects were severe. Thankfully even though there were some setbacks back then, I was able to replace medication and dozens of bad habits, with good sleep routines, exercise, eating well, journaling, counseling support, 12 step Adult Children of Alcoholics and Dysfunctional Families support groups, and rebuilding my faith life. I had been a text book case in the 80s: Age of onset - 19, family history of alcoholism and mental illness, high achiever - but I believe more than having a "genetic time bomb in my brain set to go off at age 19" as my first psychiatrist explained, I had inherited chaotic life circumstances, anxiety, depression and unhealthy coping skills from my parents that needed to be unlearned and replaced with dozens of positive healthy routines. I don't blame my parents at all. They were loving, caring and gave me much more in childhood than they had received in their traumatic upbringings. But their divorce, remarriages, custody battles and alcohol abuse made my teen years chaotic and confusing. Still they were supportive as they had the capacity to be and we stayed close until they each passed away. I didn't know addressing the hurts of my painful past and making all those lifestyle changes would heal me, I was just trying to find peace, balance and happiness. What I found was that as I overhauled my lifestyle and thought life, I was no longer called to the fuzzy wonderland of mania when i was under stress, nor did I land in the murky bleakness of depression when life was being difficult. Positive daily habits keep my stress levels in check so that my unique bipolar chemistry does not get activated. Now that I am getting close to retirement age, I'd really like to help others with the stories, lessons, experiences and techniques that keep me well. I've got a full and wonderful life, happily married for 35 years with four awesome sons, three lovely daughters-in-law, a new grandbaby, successful business and many great friends. During my 20s I often doubted any of that was possible. Thanks for listening!
#MightyTogether #BipolarDisorder

It’s been a few months since I’ve written but med issues had me waking me up every 3 hours. Slowly getting back to normal. I see we have some new members ! Welcome to the best group on the net. A little about me for those that don’t know me. I suffer from Chronic Pain after a injury where half my neck was fused with Titanium and donor bone. It cost me my career where I spent 32 years as a FF/Paramedic the last 18 years as a Lt/FF/Paramedic with a large Department in Florida. So yes I know pain, depression,isolation,followed afterwards by alcoholism. ( been 100% sober almost 4 years now ) . Yes, I have been suicidal in the past. My sister is Bi-polar, my mother was beyond depressed before she passed just over a year ago. I’ve worked as a mental health tech on the graveyard shift while working my way through Paramedic school. Followed by 15 years on the 7P-7A at a downtown ER waiting for the City to open up the hiring list for the fire department. I’m a open book so any questions feel free to ask. I’ll be on more frequently now that the cold weather is slowly hitting Florida. ( yes it does get cold in Florida lol ) , again it’s nice to see all the new members!….David

Hi, my name is ryry76. I'm here because I believe in the power of honest sharing, storytelling and peer to peer support. I've struggled with alcoholism and depression. I have two children with a rare metabolic condition and one also has Celiac's.

#MightyTogether #Depression

When eminent physicist Stephen Hawking announced that science is bogus and that scientific phenomena are little more than the whims of “twisted, magical gnomes, whose penchant for mischief is exceeded only by their alcoholism,” college student Jennifer Jareau was not surprised. She witnessed two of the gnomes firsthand, six days before Hawking’s shocking revelation, bullying her chemistry professor, Dr. Spencer Reid.

“After several frustrating exams, I’d gone to Dr. Reid’s office, hoping he could clarify some points about chemistry,” Jareau said. “For starters, what is chemistry? Is it a myth? The story of students who will never succeed in pushing the rock up the hill, no matter how hard they try? It ain’t understandable, whatever it is.”

When Jareau entered Reid’s office, she realized the myth was more real than she had imagined. “Dr. Reid had an executive desk toy on his desk, the one with a row of steel balls hanging in a frame. The gnomes had shoved his face into the frame, with half the balls on each side of his head, and the outermost balls taking turns thwacking the sides of his head.” Jareau starts laughing. “Sorry,” she says. “The sight of that was really funny. And the gnomes…they were funny, too. They had voices like helium, so when they were screaming at Dr. Reid, it was all kinds of awesome.”

According to Jareau, two wizened, six inch tall figures stood on Dr. Reid’s desk, berating him. “We must have more tears,” the gnomes shouted, but between their high pitched keening and the balls wedged in Dr. Reid’s ears, he could not hear them. Reid finally exclaimed, exasperated, “You need more physics for that! I am not a physicist! But this would be a fitting ordeal for one. Why don’t you shove Dr. Hawking in here?” “Fine! We will! Good day, sir,” one of the gnomes said as the other kicked Reid’s coffee cup over in a huff, soaking Reid’s papers. Then the pair ripped a hole in the fabric of reality itself, closing it behind them as they exited, as gnomes do.

Jareau continues, “After I helped Dr. Reid extract his face from the desk toy, I asked him, ‘What’s up with the gnomes?’ ‘Oh, no,’ he said. ‘If the truth comes out, my cushy professor gig will be over! Can’t let that happen.’ Then he saw his coffee drenched papers and cried, ‘My notes! How will I keep the lies straight without my notes!’ Then his hands flew up to his mouth, as if he could keep what he’d said from flying out. Then he said, ‘Of course, “cushy” is a relative term. Sometimes I yearn for the easy life of a writer.” Jareau, an English major, sighs. “If people knew that writing is 99% b.s, the cushy life I’m trying to build for myself would evaporate. We agreed not to spill the beans about each other’s phony baloney career scams. And things were great until Stephen Hawking opened his big mouth and ruined everything. Err. you know what I mean.”

Hawking’s announcement, aside from a good deal of skepticism, raised two questions. First, why Hawking? As Hawking himself puts it, “I announced the truth about science through the voice synthesizer that allows me to speak while surrounded by the machinery that keeps me alive. I will never be the most convincing spokesman for the idea that science is bogus. But every other scientist turned the gnomes down. Understandable, not wanting their sham lives exposed.”

Hawking resisted the gnomes himself, only giving in when his pride was grievously injured. “I am the smartest human being alive,” he says, “and that makes me a proud and easily humiliated man.Hawking takes a moment to collect himself. “When my daughter Lucy told me she was going to be a novelist, I could not allow her to waste her life. I put my foot down. Err, you know what I mean. Our conflict escalated until I exclaimed, ‘Lucy, I am your father!’ in the voice of Darth Vader. The gnomes messed with my voice synthesizer! Lucy collapsed on the floor, she was laughing so hard, and I knew that I had lost her respect forever. I agreed to do as the gnomes wished.” Hawking made his announcement the following night.

The second question is why did the gnomes reveal themselves at all? Dr. Reid sheds some light. “The gnomes are drunks, but the only liquor that satisfies them is distilled from the tears of frustrated students. The greater the frustration, the higher the proof, so all of ‘science’ was concocted to push student aggravation to the maximum and produce excellent gnome booze. The periodic table, e equals mc squared, sp3 hybridization, all nonsense designed to make students cry. And the system worked when students were eager to prove themselves. But when they stopped attaching their worth to accomplishment, their tears dried up and sober gnomes aren’t happy gnomes. Basically, pop psychology will doom us all.”

When asked if our doom will arise from pop psychology's contribution to the moral decay of a decadent society, Reid says, "No. What I mean is that if the bulk of the world's students aren't regularly weeping in frustration by 2029, the gnomes will crash an asteroid into the planet and kill us all. We need to focus on getting students excited about science again---and make it even more incomprehensible. Our students' failures will save us!" Reid seems taken aback by what he has just said. "Holy cow," he says, "this world is stupid!"

Jareau agrees. "So they just made science minors mandatory for everyone who isn't a science major," she says. "I was weeks away from being done with science forever! Excuse me," she says, as tears fill her eyes. "I think I'm going to cry."

#Depression #Suicide #PTSD #Trauma #MentalHealth #Disability