Bpdandfriends

I'm sorry to all the people I have pushed away. For all the stories I told and for all the hurt I caused. I will be better, a better person and a better friend.

I hate that it has taken me this long to see the things that I have done to everyone that loves me. Just know that I love you and am grateful for you being here all these years.

There will always be a someone, or situations that will always try and test or question your progress and no I don’t mean in a sense of helping you stay accountable, because part of keeping your mental health in tact is holding yourself accountable and others
I’m referring to the judgment part
I wish that part
Of me could be forgotten the me I was I don’t even know or identify with;

She’s pretty much gone there’s still a small but very define part of her I’m working on keeping and that’s the part
Of me that despite of my BPD I’ve managed to keep my heart wide open without wishing anyone harm
And in the process new self explorations will develop and with each one a better version
Yea I’m Slow at it; and just in case you don’t know, this isn’t a race
There is always more to write in my Book of Life
And I’m the only one writing it
#Bpdstrong #BorderlinePersonalityDisorder

I realize it's a very toxic way of dealing with it but, in the past when my friends upset me (real or imagined) I just shut them out until I get over it. which always sends a rift in our friendship. and lately, I realized that I could just hide it, pretend like I'm not upset or hurt, because no matter how I hurt I feel it doesn't make any difference to them so why show them that they'd hurt me or that they have that much power over me? They don't apologize or even own up to what they did when i try and talk to them, they instead gaslight me and make me feel ashamed for being hurt in the first place. I have accepted that I can never have a real friendship with anyone. so instead I just fake it, no one understands the emotional hell I endure over the little things so what's the point?

It's been quite hard for me to try to accept that this diagnosis doesn't define me but it is indeed a part of me, I've explained to my friends a little bit about what this is and one of them says that's normal to have this emotional dysregulation, and right now I wonder whether there's something wrong with me or not.

So I wanted to ask you guys, how it's been for you to accept the diagnosis and at the same time how bad you see BPD if you compare it to your friends' standpoint.

Some days we are talking through the whole day other times its just at night when he checks in with me.
#Bpdandfriends

I am dating this guy who is a really good friend of mine. He is going through a lot in his life. My bpd issues are at its height. Anything can make me sad/angry/depressed...I can go on with the list but I think you get the gist here. After the switch from friend to gf, I think I am making it worse for him. I think he’s sadder than before we started dating each other. What do you think should I do? I sure can’t control my emotions. Should I leave (I am a good friend of his) or should I stay (I can drive him crazy with my mood swings)?

#Bpdrelationships #Bpdandfriends #Notsurewheretogonext #MoodDisorders

Taylor Swift just released a song called The Archer. The lyrics are key to this song, take a listen if you are into her... anyway, I have BPD and I feel as though her lyrics are what we go through with our fears of abandonment and the loss of friends due to #BPD