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My Husband and his Imaginary Friends The many faces of pain Living with a person with DID

My husband has DID.
This means that at a young age he experienced trauma that was, to him, so severe his mind "fractured"
From that point any strong emotional response, even in the positive, would cause a new persona to materialize in his mind.
A majority of people with DID have no more than 7, with 5 or fewer most common.
My husband has 7 with names that face, or "take control" and at least 3 branches off of each those that respond to specific circumstances.
Conflict resolution is nonexistent. His reaction to hearing "I am frustrated with ____" is always "you're mad at me, I need to leave"
I know he has been physically, emotionally, financially and sexually abused, each of these manifest in his personas.
Protective persona tend to come out when people are actively fighting him on things that may or may not matter. These ones usually walk away, but not before acting in an aggressive and violent way.
He tends to voice his opinions, no matter how hurtful, without realizing he says something.
I have had to explain that calling a food other people enjoy "gross" constantly makes those people not want to eat in his presence. That does not make sense to him.
His opinions should not matter to others.
He has severe aversion to bodily functions, but one of his persona like to make him fart because it aggravates him.
He has a serious shyness about his body, but one of his persona like to show off his body.
He is Asexual, unless a specific persona manages to take control before he wakes up, then he is hypersexual.
He hates to argue or feel like people are angry at him, but will fight about how dishes are put away until he gets so angry he storms out of the house.
He says to people things like "if I was home all day, I would have a clean house, and dinner out every night." However he spends a lot of time on his games, and sleeping, not accomplishing anything.
When he is tired or filled with anxiety, either he is determined and adamant about getting something done, or he is shut down and not able to understand simple directions, and sometimes he is unable to hear or understand words well.
There are a lot of ups and downs while living with him. For myself, I often feel affection deprived, frustrated with how situations are handled, mentally or physically exhausted, and at times, flat out fed up with his behavior.

There is a persona who is still madly in love with his ex wife, and outright hates me. I have never been bothered by it by that aspect of things, because a majority of the time that persona is shut away. There are times, however, when I know a situation with his ex is going to be a problem for him.
Recently she moved out of state. He was and is severely upset about it, even though he has not been an active part of her life, he was most hurt by her not telling him.
He has been forlorn since finding out about it.
On my end, that means picking up the slack, which I already have quite a bit of painful, resentful, emotions regarding this type of situation.
He is still her puppy dog, and acts like she holds the moon. Even though she has cheated, had children, and moved on with her life without him. I am convinced there is still part of him that is waiting for her return.
When that persona is around, I might as well paint myself invisible, because I have no place with him.
We have discussed and argued about his behavior in the past...it has never ended well.

Recently I watched as my husband grieved the loss of that relationship anew. I was the bearer of the news that she had moved out of state. Watching him fall apart and say "I am alone now, I only have my parents here" was beyond devastating for me.

There is a persona who is adamant that he is the only one, and there is no others.

I think many people underestimate the complexity of a personality like DID. There is so much misinformation out in this world that many believe that this is a controllable disorder.

It really is not.
I don't know when my husband will turn into a crying 5 year old who needs comfort, or a rage monster who had had enough with the planet and "everyone can die in fire" is his mantra.

It is only through counseling and intense emotional understanding that this disorder is in anyway manageable.

Unfortunately there are too many who are left alone with their mental health and expected to "get better" on their own.
There is so much more I can write here about living with a person with DID.
Ultimately it comes down to understanding that it will never be an easy road, there are challenges that come with each persona. There are emotional, intellectual, and social challenges, as well as physical and sexual.
Each persona is their own being. Their own mental system.

"I am in a relationship with my husband and his imaginary friends" seems like the best way to describe my life with him.

PS. There is a persona who is a fire breathing, flying, circus panda...it's a very odd disorder.

#DissociativeIdentityDisorder #DissociationDisorders #MentalHealth #MoodDisorders #PTSD #Anxiety

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What does depression feel like to you?

It's hard to describe what depression feels like. While at the core the emotions are the same, some parts can feel different for each person.
I tried to put my thoughts into words. It felt better to put it out there rather than just let it fester inside my brain...

Please check out the full article if you feel like it -
theauthenticdialogue.com/what-does-depression-feel-like

I love The Mighty and all the strong warriors here 💪
If you would like to connect further I will always welcome it!

instagram.com/theauthenticdialogue

Sending you love and hugs 🩷🧡💛💚💙🩵

#Depression #BipolarDepression #BipolarDisorder #MajorDepressiveDisorder #MentalHealth #Hope #BorderlinePersonalityDisorder #MoodDisorders #Anxiety

What does depression feel like? - The Authentic Dialogue

Depression is a feeling, condition, illness, or moronic move by the brain that can wreck your life because it turns your brain against itself.
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I’m new here!

Hi, my name is MrzJohnson444. I'm here because I live with cPTSD, Depression, Anxiety, BORDERLINE PERSONALITY DISORDER, Mood Disorders to name a few diagnoses. also our 14 year old daughter has now been hospitalized inpatient with many symptoms of mental illness and neurological issues. She is right now on her second inpatient stay f it r self harming incidents, depression,extreme anxiety and extreme lack of impulse control occurrences. She is very vulnerable, manic at times, AB’s has lost interest in her usual routines, love for art and storytelling, and the absence of her outgoing personality. I am here for support, education and help with coping strategies for myself, our child and our family, who has been affected dramatically and suddenly.

#MightyTogether #Anxiety #Depression #BipolarDisorder #BorderlinePersonalityDisorder #mother #familymentaillness #advocasy #PTSD

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Confused

Is unspecified mood disorder (bipolar spectrum) the same as unspecified bipolar disorder? #BipolarDisorder #MoodDisorders

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neurodivergence and anger

Hi, I'm new here and I have bipolar disorder and I highly suspect I am on the spectrum as well. I wanted to know if anyone else here deals with anger problems and how they may cope with them as a fellow neurodivergent person. How do you calm down and take time to really listen and be rational instead of falling into tunnel vision during disagreements? #BipolarDisorder #MoodDisorders

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Family Counseling

Has anyone done family counseling? Any advice how to cope, make it go smoothly, etc? It will be myself, husband and two daughters. #ADHD #Depression #Anxiety #GeneralizedAnxietyDisorder #MentalHealth #Bipolar2 #BipolarDepression #BipolarDisorder #ObsessiveCompulsiveDisorder #PTSD #MoodDisorders #FamilyAndFriends #CheckInWithMe

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I'm new here!

Hi, my name is Lobstick1. I'm here because my 43 year old daughter has had to move home (a yr ago). She is unable to cope with life. She left a very toxic relationship after 26 yrs and now is very regretful but he has moved on. Her son just graduated high school and will be going to school 3 hrs away. She has always been able to hold it together for him but is now having a complete meltdown. She has been assessed by two psychiatrists from the Mood Disorders clinic & we will hear their suggestions this week. I think they will suggest in hospital treatment. She has done some DBT before but has convinced herself she’s too far gone to help.
I’m getting exhausted just from trying to keep her with us. She says it’s painful to be alive. I don’t know how much longer I can continuously be by her side every hour of the day. My husband and I just retired. We are in our early 70’s and we need some kind of life that isn’t always about what is happening with our daughter. I’m hoping to find some people to share their coping strategies with me. This is a very lonely place to be. I know my daughter feels very lonely all the time but we can’t give up our lives to just look after her. She says she hates living with us but there is no alternative. We are her only support right now.

#MightyTogether

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I’m new here!

Hi, my name is MCastillo. I'm here because I suffer from depression and other mood disorders and want to find others who can relate and share their experiences with me and vice versa.

#MightyTogether #Anxiety #Depression #BipolarDisorder #Migraine

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Feeling alone

Anyone else have an unspecified mood disorder? Mine is bipolar spectrum, but it feels really isolating to be “unspecified” because it’s hard to find people who can relate to the specific problems I experience.
#MoodDisorders

5 reactions 5 comments