My biggest trust issue? My body.
I was so excited for today and have been looking forward to it this whole week. I had a hair appointment and I haven’t had my hair done in 3 years.
I’m sitting in the chair with bleach in my half my hair and I can tell I’m going to have a pre syncope episode. I started sweating like crazy, my face had no color, I was shaking, and my vision kept going away and coming back. I tried my routine breathing and talking to myself but it did not work.
Soooo I had to end my appointment. Called grandma to pick me up. Luckily my hair stylist is the greatest human on the earth - using the cold setting on the blow dryer to cool me off, washed and styled my hair while I was awardly leaning backwards.
Anywaysss later I looked at my health data - my heart rate went from 78 resting to 50 resting and struggled to raise my heart rate for the next 10 minutes.
I did try to have extra electrolytes before my appointment. I did have 3 glasses of water this morning. I did eat a meal before I left. I swear, the biggest trust issue I have is with my own body. I’m frustrated with my body, I’m embarrassed of my body, I want to forget today happened but half my head is bleached for a continuous reminder. And what? I’ll make my appointment to get it finished and be anxious about possibly passing out again and won’t be relaxed like I should be when you get your hair done.
Let me sulk today, I’ll get back on the positivity bus tomorrow. But huge shout out to my hair stylist for making me feel safe and seen - I wish more people could do that. Also I love a good salon dog, thank you for resting your head in my lap when I arrived, you are the sweetest.
#bradycardia #NeurocardiogenicSyncope
