Arrhythmia

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Arrhythmia
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    Community Voices

    I'm new here!

    Hi, my name is Notsafeanymore. I'm here because panic attacks have took control of my life since I've had covid and with the grief of losing my father to leukaemia. Chest discomfort everyday and night, constant thinking there is somtwrong with my heart because I got arrhythmia after covid and the loss of my father. Got beta blockers, stopped the arrhythmia but now I'm stuck in limbo with weird chest pain that has brought on terrible stomach throwing up, arm tingling, teeth numbing, muscle spasm, sore head, weird sensations that have me disconnected from reality that I don't feel safe anywhere anymore with these panic attacks. Started to plan for my funeral just incase there is something wrong. Doctors appointment in the morning. Wish me luck. David.

    #MightyTogether #Anxiety #Depression #BorderlinePersonalityDisorder #Grief

    6 people are talking about this
    Community Voices

    I'm new here!

    Hi, my name is Pheonix8. I’m new to The Mighty and look forward to sharing my story.

    I am a 60 year old woman. I am in a domestic relationship. I have 2 grown children, 2 grandchildren and 3 fur grand children.

    I have always been a perfectionists...so change I very difficult for me.

    Now my higher power (God), has a different road he wants me to travel.

    In 1998, I was diagnosed with multiple Sclerosis.

    In 2001, I finally left a 15 year abusive marriage.

    In 2011, I survived throat cancer.

    In 2013 was terminated from a 22 year medical manufacturing career, because I extinguished 22 weeks of STD.

    In 2017 I left my children to "help" my 80 year old mother and her 2nd husband to be thrown out of their house in the dead of winter 1 week before Thanksgiving. We left everything because everything they had we were supposed to inherit. So at 55 years of age, we are starting over.

    In March of 2020 I survived a widow makers heart attack.

    In June, 2020 I had a double bypass with complications.

    In December 2020 was hospitalized with arrhythmia.

    In January 2022, I tested positive for COVID, can't imagine what it would have been like without the vaccinations.

    I know I have more to give I am still searching for what that might be.

    Then I met a wonderful lady who is very much into living in the NOW, and has found and embraces her inner child

    She keeps telling me it is I side me but I have no idea on how to even begin searching. She is truly amazing and I need what she has found.

    #MightyTogether

    #MultipleSclerosis

    #Anxiety

    #Depression

    7 people are talking about this
    Community Voices
    Alishia D

    Looking Back on Coping With Grief and Schizoaffective Disorder

    We drove along the crystalline coast, weaving between spouts of pythonic redwoods that hid us from the rays of a boiling sun. My car, a hybrid, crawled along with electric engine humming, no gas wasted. My partner fell asleep. We were on our way up to Fort Bragg to see some sea glass before driving into Mendocino County. I had a freeing haircut and had lost a great deal of weight. I enjoyed the beauty of the outside and the silence in my head. We pursued the cliffside, took pictures, smiled, laughed, slipped in the ocean, found an old steel boat rusting alongside some rocks. We poked a sea urchin before setting it loose in the tide, and learned how to take live photos on my new iPhone. Everything was perfect. In Ukiah, our Airbnb gave us time to rest. I don’t get a lot of rest. My primary diagnosis is schizoaffective disorder, and along with all the stigma that comes with that term, I also have terrible insomnia and endless energy when I’m not medication, and loud voices that ruin my sense of peace. I worried greatly our Airbnb host planted cameras in the studio room and when he spoke to us; I often heard attitude and implication in his voice my partner said wasn’t there. I didn’t trust Mr. Airbnb, so I kept our curtains closed. I did trust one person, and it felt strange that she hadn’t texted me in over 24 hours. We usually spoke every day as we’d done since we were 11 years old. Now we were 25 and trying to figure ourselves out. I found out on Facebook that she’d passed away the day before, while I was smiling on a big rock at Fort Bragg. At first it was just tears and denial and confusion, and then it was shock. I spoke with my therapist that day via Zoom without a tear, without even mentioning the loss. I didn’t want to ruin our trip, so I sucked down the emotions the best I could, tried to enjoy Vichy Springs, and cried myself dry on the way home. To process my emotions, I did absolutely nothing. I tried to go to work, I tried to eat, I tried to exercise. And for a while, I did. I went to the memorial/viewing service. I was too anxious to speak with her family, and I wasn’t sure how to approach them, so I didn’t ask much about the funeral services and they didn’t tell me. I missed her being lowered into the ground. Then I couldn’t eat. I couldn’t sleep. I couldn’t walk straight, it seemed, or breathe without reminding myself to take a breath. My panic attacks came back. They were triggered by loud noises, cars driving past, bright sunlight, hot weather, cold weather, hot showers, cold showers and finally, voices. In my head, I would hear them share their own fears: if I walked alone, I’d have a heart attack. If I rode my bike, my heart would explode. They wanted to protect me, if anything, and so they put parameters on what I could eat: nothing with heavy carbs, no fat, no sugar, including juices. Soon I wasn’t allowed to stand without the threat of their cacophonous judgment. I couldn’t drive because I’d be trapped either in an accident or lost on the road. I couldn’t go to the bathroom without the threat of dying, and so I stayed in bed, shaking, crying, confused. I stopped working. I took three months off work to try and get back on medication. While doctors struggled with listening to my needs, I struggled with trying to stay alive. I felt suicidal for the first time in many years, and I couldn’t find myself to talk about my grief. Even if someone asked me about it, I couldn’t quite put the pain into words, and I simmered in the loss, the voices, the delusions. Three months passed and I couldn’t eat without coughing everything back up. I worried things were in my food, poisons, drugs, that were causing my panic attacks and ruining my heart muscle. I thought I had a resulting arrhythmia that would kill me in my sleep, so I didn’t sleep, and the cycle continued. I had to leave my job of five years as a peer worker and get on social security disability. Then, I took myself to the hospital. In the hospital I stayed to myself as usual, watched some television, participated in groups, and lost more weight. I thought they decided to weigh everyone because they thought I had an eating disorder and wanted to force-feed me. I nibbled only on carrots, broccoli, and some egg in the morning, after all. Those were safe foods, according to my voices, so I ordered the same meal every morning, afternoon and evening. I don’t remember feeling my stomach growl. The funny thing about grief is that it lodges itself in our body. Sometimes it’s in our heart, sometimes our joints, sometimes our heads. For me, it stayed in my head, and I lost a sense of myself, a sense of the space I occupied, a sense of reality, a sense of truth. I didn’t know what mattered, if anything, and I worried none of us had a purpose. Being unable to find words for this pain, it shone itself in delusion, hallucination and panic. Not only did I learn how fleeting life was, I also learned pain is powerful. And that’s not necessarily a bad thing. Pain reminds us of who we are. It gives us something to feel, even when we think we can’t feel anything. It’s a darkness worth navigating, because in the end we’ve experienced something new, something hefty, something beautiful, a piece life everyone goes through, and that’s a unifying experience. I miss my best friend, but I’m thankful for the lessons I’ve learned and for the memories I have. I’ve since returned to peer work, a year later. It gives me the sense of purpose I briefly thought didn’t exist, and gives me a chance to be around people who understand me. I get to give back to the community in a way that’s beneficial. I’m writing again, spilling what I couldn’t during that time onto pages for others to read. I’m going to university to finish my bachelor’s in cognitive science. I’m traveling again, driving and keeping a piece of my best friend with me while I do. Pain hurts. But we’re not defined by what drags us down, we’re defined by how we navigate the darkness and what we learn. A year later I can smile in a picture again. What can you do in a year?

    Tessa Koller

    How It Feels Being on a Monitoring System for Heart Disease

    It didn’t fully hit me until my parents and I were sitting at my kitchen table talking on the phone to a woman who worked for a First Alert system. She was young and had heart disease like me. She kept saying that I sounded so young and “normal,” which she hears a lot as well. At some point in 2019 or 2020, my heart health took a plunge into arrhythmia issues. A cardiologist diagnosed me with Supraventricular Tachycardia (SVT). If you’re not familiar with this type of arrhythmia, I’ll tell you how it feels living with these new changes to my heart’s function. For me, the symptoms of SVT range from either two high of a heart rate or two low, causing a domino effect of severe fatigue, chest pains, nausea and, on frequent occasions, digestive discomfort. Recently, when I was sitting for a couple of hours working on an art project, someone noticed my heart rate skyrocketing to 147, and I was hoping that was the time. But it was, in fact, my heart rate. Within seconds of this slightly longer episode, fatigue made my energy levels plummet. I was in a situation where I couldn’t lay down and take a long nap. Though I love an afternoon siesta, the fatigue has now become like an internal war with my brain and body. My brain wants to do things, to be creative and work. My body, though, denies the urge. It’s frustrating beyond belief to want to work but physically not have the ability to. When I’m down, after I’ve slept for at least an hour or two in the afternoon, then I’m awake and doing work. Still, exhausted and sitting down. I’ve been trying to walk each day. Some days, it takes everything in me to walk around the block of my neighborhood. Even if I’m walking slowly, I’ll break a sweat and my heart rate will either be through the roof or too low. To add insult to injury, within the last year, I started on heart medication, a betablocker to be specific. These episodes were too brief to pursue a pacemaker, so a First Alert System with the betablocker should make me feel more at ease. But none of these circumstances feels settling or easy to deal with at the age of thirty-seven. It’s nerve-wracking to find myself in situations of being forced to tell clients or strangers what’s been going on. Adding to my list of disquieting thoughts, my health is somehow always interfering with my life. I’m someone who loves being busy, and even though fatigue has been challenging my day-to-day routines, still, I keep plugging away. Heart disease has taken a lot from me, but I’m trying not to think in such a manner. Instead, I have transformed these hard feelings into work that I love doing. Those times when I’m down, I’m actively creating something whether it’s an art piece or an art tutorial. As someone who used to deal with insomnia, I am mindful to get sufficient sleep by minimizing distractions. My brain never rests and that’s the toughest hurdle. Its as if I am literally in a fight with various aspects of myself and when I notice this uneasiness creeping in, I find strategies to not slip down a rabbit hole of negativity. I used to keep my health issues a secret, but if there is anything this Coronavirus pandemic has taught me, it’s that if we’re sick or having problems, it’s courtesy to be honest about where you are and how you’re feeling for the sake of yourself and others. This First Alert system, while it makes me uneasy at times just to have, I also feel lucky that there are these devices that can save my life if in the event of an episode. I want to live a long life and there is technology, now, that can facilitate these desires. It’s also comforting knowing I have a tool to use in a crisis.

    Community Voices

    My Furry Friend
    EDS
    POTS
    Depression

    <p>My Furry Friend<br><a href="https://themighty.com/topic/ehlers-danlos-syndrome/?label=EDS" class="tm-embed-link  tm-autolink health-map" data-id="5b23ce7a00553f33fe991e01" data-name="EDS" title="EDS" target="_blank">EDS</a><br><a href="https://themighty.com/topic/postural-orthostatic-tachycardia-syndrome/?label=POTS" class="tm-embed-link  tm-autolink health-map" data-id="5b23ceac00553f33fe99a8c8" data-name="POTS" title="POTS" target="_blank">POTS</a><br><a href="https://themighty.com/topic/depression/?label=Depression" class="tm-embed-link  tm-autolink health-map" data-id="5b23ce7600553f33fe991123" data-name="Depression" title="Depression" target="_blank">Depression</a></p>
    4 people are talking about this
    Community Voices

    Holistically treating my IST

    Hi everyone,

    This is my first post here and I’m really happy to find community that can relate to some of my health struggles.

    I wanted to share a bit of my story with the hope that maybe it will help someone. A bit of a background on this, the first time I was told I had an #Arrhythmia was about 10 years ago and back then I actually had #bradycardia . It hadn’t bothered me much throughout the years until last August.

    First, I started having very sharp chest pains accompanied by palpitations that would last around 15 minutes. The feeling spread to pain in my arm which really worried me at the time. It went from happening every few days to every single day.

    I went to the doctors and they did an EKG that showed tachycardia. After lots of back and forth I was able to get a referral for a cardiologist who did another EKG that was borderline and Echo which came back normal. I’m waiting to receive a halter monitor. Overall though, this doc in particular is terribly rude doctor and tells me it’s just anxiety.

    It’s very hard to get an appt with him and in between I ended up at urgent care 3x and taken by ambulance to the hospital 1x when my HR hit 180 BPM. I was at the point of debilitating IST that hit when I was sitting down working on my computer or laying down - multiple times a day. It felt like my heart was running a marathon over and over. Absolutely exhausting.

    That brings me to this current moment. The ER doc gave me Propranolol which is the FIRST thing to stop an episode. He also gave me Xanax 3x/day but I haven’t touched it because I don’t believe this is anxiety related.

    None of my docs are trying to find the root cause so I’ve done a lot of my own research and I’m trying to treat this issue holistically. The most fascinating discovery I’ve made so far is this:

    Right before my arrhythmia got bad last year, I started carb cycling (I’m also vegan and have been for over a decade). I’ve done keto before and ended up in the hospital years ago for palpitations while on the diet - I didn’t make that correlation until recently.

    I looked at my Kardia app and realize that all my 130+ BPM episodes tended to be on my low carb days. I’m trying to test out this theory so today when I started having an episode, HR 105 and climbing, I ate a few pieces of fruit, some crackers, and honey - literally anything I had in my fridge that was high carb.

    Within 15 minutes my HR went down to 80 BPM. That’s the LOWEST it’s been in a very long time and the first time I have been able to self-regulate the tachycardia.

    I’m also taking magnesium every day which has helped with the palpitations. I’m going to end my carb cycling and incorporate healthy carbs into each of my meals to see if it helps reduce the onset of IST.

    Has anyone else had this experience?

    TL;DR:
    My IST might be triggered by a low carb diet and wonder if others noticed this too.

    #InappropriateSinusTachycardia #Tachycardia #SinusTachycardia

    2 people are talking about this
    Community Voices

    How to cope with extreme feelings of shame? Stuck in a shame/depression/suicidal thoughts cycle.

    I’m jobless at the moment, and not because of covid. It doesn’t feel good to say that. Whenever I meet someone their first question is what do you do, and I stutter and trip over my words. I left an incredibly toxic job with an abusive boss, was not getting paid for the work I was doing, even experienced a senior staff person touch me inappropriately at a public event in February (this is the first time I am even writing about this and it’s extremely uncomfortable and humiliating to recall)

    I had another job lined up, and failed the physical needed to show I am able to do the job. Possible heart arrhythmia, not life threatening but my doc said with covid and all
    she can’t justify signing off that I’m in good health. To be honest she’s right. I am a mental
    mess, I’m probably not remotely physically or mentally sound to be working with kids and young adults who need additional support. I can hardly drive a mile down the road without having a panic attack so bad I think I am dying.

    I feel only one emotion; shame. Shame at the thought of needing to ask narcissist family members for a money loan so I can pay my bills. Shame that I told everyone how excited I was to start the job, because I didn’t want to share with them how much I was struggling (and to be honest, they wouldn’t understand or care).

    How does one cope with shame? It’s a terrible feeling. I have a degree in graphic design did exceptionally well in school while balancing
    Two jobs and used to be a decent artist. I have no confidence in any of my skills anymore. To be fair, my ex boss was such a narcissist she convinced me inside and out I was terrible at what I do and needed to
    be micromanaged for not performing, even though I put in an entire second jobs worth of unpaid hours per week. She was a spitting image, personality wise, of my narcissist mom and I couldn’t take it anymore.

    I just don’t feel as though life is worth it. I don’t see any hope. I’m applying everywhere even given what a terrible candidate I am, though no surprise have not heard back from anyone.

    If I can’t learn to live with shame I just don’t see any hope.

    4 people are talking about this