Connections/friendships when you’re #Autistic and/or have chronic health conditions or disabilities
Hi all! I’m Autistic and I’m looking for someone in the Autistic community (or not necessarily Autistic, all are welcome!) that perhaps would be able to relate. I’m labeled as “high functioning” (I hate functioning labels with my entire soul, but that’s for another post) I identify and remember people I meet by the sound of their voice. I have a lot of difficulty visually recognizing people, even people that I know very well, just by appearance. If a friend changes their hair colour, I could probably walk right by and not even recognize them. I feel really bad about this, as it’s not intentional. All my memories, how I learn and retain information is associated with sound/music. I hum/sing constantly and I have and can pick out perfect pitch.
I haven’t been out very much due to my poor physical health but on Sunday my husband and I took our dog to a park outside of my town. A woman started talking to me and we chatted for almost 20 minutes. I recognized her voice immediately but could not identify who she was by looking at her. As we left the park, it clicked. I had met her one time in September of 2015... I even remembered her name. My husband, who by now, is used to my neuro-typical brain and my memory/savant-like mind, was even taken aback.
I just feel so strange, alien-like. It’s not like I could say “hey I know you, we met once back in September 2015”.... that, I’m sure would scare her half-to-death. I find it challenging to maintain new connections/friendships because of my memory and abundance of knowledge about many things, that no one my age really cares to hear about. I keep my mind and interests to myself but it gets pretty lonely. I enjoy intellectual conversation sometimes but I also can be silly so Its hard for me to find friends who have the same kind of balance. I’m fortunate to have enough friends who I’ve known for ages, but my friendships are very one-sided, not really fulfilling. I’m the one who listens and helps, but it’s never reciprocated. I’m the only one without children (so by default, I’m left out). I try my very best to ask questions and take interest in my friends’ lives, be the best “Aunty” to their children but it’s so hard when my friends don’t take interest or ask anything about my life or things that are important to me. I’m not sure if that sounds selfish, but that not my intention. I’m so happy to hear about other’s lives but it can get mentally exhausting when my only purpose in a conversation is to listen and I feel like my friends take advantage of that.
Just wondering if anyone can relate or have these types of feelings and issues around connecting with people. It gets pretty lonely, so it would just be reassuring to me knowing that I’m not the only one. Thank you in advance to those who choose to like or comment. 💛😊 #Autism #ComplexPosttraumaticStressDisorder #EatingDisorders #irritablebowelsyndrome #GERD #SinusTachycardia #DegenerativeDiscDisease #Endometriosis #Migraine #ChronicPain #ChronicFatigue