Colon Cancer

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Bittersweet

This is the view my brother-in-law had when he died a year ago. He was diagnosed with Stage IV Colon Cancer in 2018. His dream was to live on water, and he was able to move to a bay with his wife and daughter. He was a handyman who would fix anything for you. He was an outdoorsman and loved his labs. I still can’t believe he’s gone.

#Bipolar #Depression #GAD #OCD #PTSD

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about my situation

its been Awhile since i been on as i been busy..i stay busy..as you all know my dad was sick w colon cancer last time i posed and was in the hospital..he passed on July 20th..i cried and everything but i mainly felt this relief

Like a burden had been lifted.. Like a part of me healed.. like a chapter had been closed..bc he tried French kissing me about 3 years ago..when i was in active addiction.. my work schedule has changed to 5 days on and 2 days off..so i got an extra 6 days a month

So that's really good.. the con is im exhausted bc on my 2nd day of off their comes my mom.. that is when she goes to the bank, grocery shops, gets her meds and her cigarettes..she pays me $30 every time but it don't matter bc im still exhausted

im in the process of trying to get her a caregiver.. someone to take my place..or get her into an assisted living home.. she's in the middle of trying to get gov insurance so they can pay for the assisted living but her income is too high.. she has too much in the bank

and getting more from the life insurance money.. shes gotta have $2,000 or less to qualify.. and i told her im NOT waiting on you to spend that money.. shes going to have to pay for a caregiver or pay for the first couple months of the assisted living home until the insurance takes over

but as far as resources..i have no help.. not even transportation..bc shes outside of city limits.. and i decided not to pack up the house..no..im not doing that..i won't do that..

im upset bc i did not choose to do this on my own..i was at the hospital and the landlord called my dads room and wanted to talk to me And told me i needed to put my mom into a home.. how can someone just throw someone onto someone else like that??

let alone..i have stayed w them and she kicked me out in the winter after calling me the B word and i had to sleep in the woods that night..she put me out at 3am

so you can just imagine how i feel doing the smallest thing for her and I'm going out of my way right now

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A completely wasted day

I woke up early this morning full of energy and motivation. Then it all dissolved lol. Ended up taking a nap and ended up accomplishing nothing. The past week or so I’ve gotten used to that 2 o’clock nap followed by a poor night sleep so I need to change my sleep schedule. Tomorrow is yard day and I’ll finish my project Friday and Saturday . I’ve spent so much time working on the inside of the house that I’ve neglected things on the outside. Little things like recaulking windows etc etc. My wife has started talking about what needs to be done with her mother ( she’s a only child ) so I hate where this conversation is heading . Her cousin doesn’t have long and probably won’t make it to Sunday. He was diagnosed less then a year ago with stage 4 colon cancer which had already spread and he said no to any chemo/ radiation treatment. I honestly respect his decision as I believe in quality versus quantity. I have no clue if I’ll be driving them to Virginia before or after. I’ll leave that decision up to them. Guys and Gals, please get your colonoscopy when due, it’s the 2 nd leading cause of cancer deaths that is preventable if caught early. Closing for now, Wishing everyone a relaxing evening with a restful night of sleep….David PS. Pic of my relaxation room. I think everyone needs a space for just themselves. Hopefully it won’t turn into a mother in law room lol

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idk what to do in my situation

ok first off i want to say i apologize for not being on the mighty in a long time..i have been so busy and worn out..heres my situation..i was adopted at birth.. and my bio dad got back in my life 4/5 years ago but was looking at me like a woman friend.. not like a daughter..bc im now 36..

not 4 yrs old like he last saw me..he even tried French kissing me..it traumatized the f*** out of me..i was in active addiction at the time and idk what i was thinking by not kicking him out my life..he was giving me money so that was supporting my habit.

i got clean and been clean for 2 and half years but our relationship just hasn't been the same bc in my head i thought we were bonding like Father and daughter until he tried French kissing me..long story short.. he got sick w colon cancer a year ago but found out about it 3 months ago

its bad bc now hes in hospice home on his death bed..he is already in the process of dying.. and my mom has major mental health issues and physical and i some how have taken on the responsibility of taken care of her bc everyone kept telling me it was my place to

im so tired..bc when i was taking her to see my dad in the hospital..i was driving 3 hours a day bc she lives so far from me and she wants me to come grocery shop for her and she goes through a carton of cigarettes in 3 days so i Made her buy 2 cartons from now on

i work 7 days straight and off 7 days straight..and i have no time to rest bc im literally taking care of her on my days off..she doesn't own her land so im going to have to put her into assisted living in the city i live in and get everything out of their home

its alot for one person to do.. the landlord is giving me time to do all this but if i feel like im hurting myself bc my bio parents have never taken care of me so why do i feel the need to take care of them????

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MY DAD HAS COLON CANCER

so on monday i took my dad to do his first chemo appointment.. and he was ill.. cussing at everyone and just angry and i couldn't understand this at all until i started feeling just like this last night. they were going to put a port in his chest to where he gets his chemo at..he did not want it done

so the nurse came in and talked to him and said it is his choice..that would he rather have quality of life or quantity of life..that her own mother had to watch her husband go through chemo and said the man suffered his last years of life..so this changed my dads mind.. which im on his side 10000% bc i didn't know that chemo could cause brain fog and all the other horrible symptoms that it does.

so we seen the doc and the doc said he has 2 options -1.chemo and 2.hospice..i asked what all hospice consist of and the doc says that their will be nurses that come to my dad's (biological dads) home and watch and take care of him until he passes.. and they put him on pain meds and going to see how well he does on that before the anxiety meds

i asked how much longer he has left and the doc said 6 months or less..which i know no one actually knows.. he could live another year or 2.. no one really knows..this has been very traumatic on me and im Mad bc there's some unresolved issues going on w me and my dad..

he has only been in My life for 4 years and tried to French kiss me 3 years ago.. and let me move into his home and kicked me out bc i had my baby father come see me.. outside the home..i never brought him inside..we were outside the whole time

i don't know how to bring this to his attention..i feel crazy and selfish for thinking this way but want these issues resolved before he passes so we can have closure..he did apologize about trying to kiss me.. but never apologized about putting me out in the middle of the night..i had no where to go.. had no tent.. had to sleep in the woods alone that night..

thank god i got my life together now and doing better..am i wrong for thinking this way

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just found out my bio dad's got colon cancer

#Cancer #Depression #Anxiety #Support #Stress #overwhelmed
hey everyone..i just checked my voicemail and one of the messages was my bio dad saying that he was in the hospital,that he just found out he has cancer..so i called the hospital and talked to him bc i haven't talked to him in months due to a previous misunderstanding we had..

he just found out yesterday that he has colon cancer and that they are going to do everything they can to prolong his life.. shots, chemo..i knew something was wrong a few years ago bc of his stomach issues..i told him to go to the doc.. encouraged him to go and that i would go with him but he never would go

i know myself now scary it can be going to the doc when something is wrong and you dont know whats going on..i know when it's his time to go im going to blame myself for not pushing him to go to the doc even though i tried everything i could to get him to go..this is devastating news and i just got to know my bio dad in the past 4 years of my life..

im frozen in fear..i dont know how to take it or what to think..after hearing his message..i froze and it took me 30 min to build up enough courage to call him bc i was in freeze or flight mode..i just lost my step dad few years ago to prostate cancer and i didn't get to say my goodbyes to him due to being homeless and my phone dying..

so i have alot of guilt around death and i love that God gives us life but is it normal to be a little angry at him for taking loved ones away? i don't know if its just me..i don't have any support and haven't in awhile.. God was my only support..i dont like feeling this way and just need some answers or opinions.. thank you

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Survivor of Colon Cancer

Back in 2022, December 1st at the age of 49, I was diagnosed with stage three colon cancer that was very agressive. The tumor was the size of a plum , but by the time I had surgery to have it removed on January 16,2023 it was the size of a grapefruit. I ended up with a long incision on my tummy and 28 staples. The surgery went good and I came out fine. I was awake and alert then suddenly my blood pressure dropped and almost didn’t make it. After having a shot of keatamine, fentynl then some arcan they brought me back. It was the strangest feeling ever and I still struggle with the thought that I wished I would’ve just died. I feel guilty feeling that way, it haunts me everyday. Once I recovered from surgery I had to have a port put in me which was needed for my chemo treatment . After a chemo treatment I had to have a bottle hooked to my port that I packed around with me that had chemo meds in it that were infused over two days then removed until the next chemo treatment. I started chemo March 31st 2022 and was supposed to have 12 treatments. I made it to 11, my body just couldn’t take it anymore. It was very scary and exhausting. I have the most amazing husband ever who took me to every treatment, scans everything you can think of, he was there. We also had to travel an hour each way for treatments which when it was all said and done, it would be over 40 trips. I was very fortunate to have an amazing oncologist and an outstanding cancer dr. and nurses. I received the best chemo treatment in the world. I had my last chemo treatment October 2nd ,2023. After that I had a few struggles with weight loss, painful stomach aches and eating and bathroom issues. I had another colonoscopy and more scans and blood work done. I found out not to long ago that I am cancer free and feel so greatful to still be here for my husband and 2 kids and that they are still here for me. I do have to say it was hard, it felt weird for that I felt almost embarrassed to say or tell anybody that I had cancer. I didn’t tell very many people that I did and the ones that I did, like family didn’t know what to say. None of them really reached out to see how I was doing, so when I found out I was cancer free I sent them a text. I got a thumbs up’s. So that was good. For me I found that once I said CANCER people ran away. Maybe that’s their way of dealing with it, oh well. After going through cancer and coming out being cancer free I focused everything I had on my treatment that when it was all over I felt completely lost, not knowing who I was anymore, not recognizing the person I saw looking back at in the mirror that I was before cancer, which has put me in a bad way with now having depression and anxiety. I’ve always stuggled with depression from past trauma, but adding cancer to it has made it extremely difficult. Making me reflect on my past and going through all these crazy emotions of wondering how to overcome all those obstacles now. I’m trying to find myself again and have found it very helpful joining “The Mighty”. I joined for other reasons as well, not just cancer. I find it very helpful reading other people’s stories and journeys it makes me feel not so alone. I hope sharing my story will help other people maybe going through similar situations and nowing that they are not alone.❤️

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Me and big sweet Ben who I just lost to colon cancer:(

Daisy(my little Tibeten Spaniel mix) and I are so devastated by Ben's death ,

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I have cancer and it has put a limit on my social life

I have 4th stage metastatic colon cancer and the guy I’m seeing just told me he doesn’t want to get serious because I have cancer and the relationship isn’t going to go anywhere. I have tried dating other guys but they don’t seem interested. I only really have one friend. I’ve tried volunteering but no one needs anyone in my area. I’m getting extremely depressed and sit home alone a lot. I really need friends in my life. Would love to have a relationship. I’m on all kinds of depression medication. Doesn’t seem to be working. Any advice?

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