ComingToTermsWithChronicIllness

With September here, it’s difficult. I’ve been a teacher for 5 years, but this year I won’t be going back to work.
Not because of Covid or any of the craziness in the world right now. Because I am simply too sick.
Last year at this time I was pushing through the start of the school year, hoping somehow I would start getting better. This year, I’m having to watch from my bed.

It’s a different kind of grief, when you grieve a part of yourself.

Things will get better. They will look up.

But for today, I’m taking a day to grieve everything this illness has taken from me.

#Grief #ChronicIllness #MentalHealth
#Disability #Anxiety #SocialAnxiety
#MyalgicEncephalomyelitis #Fibromyalgia
#OrthostaticHypotension #ChronicHeadaches
#Migraine #PosturalOrthostaticTachycardiaSyndrome #ComingToTermsWithChronicIllness

I am an ambulatory wheelchair user. I use a wheelchair due to fatigue— which means when I use my manual wheelchair, someone has to push it. I am lucky to have access both to multiple manual wheelchairs and to a mobility scooter (which belonged to my grandma). I also have a very supportive family who is willing to push my wheelchair for me. I still prefer the independence of using the mobility scooter.

Today, I am looking at trailer hitch attachments to haul the mobility scooter on my car. Last year at this time, I was offered help getting one, but turned it down as I didn’t want to take that step yet. I didn’t think I would need it that long.

Yet here I am.

I’m both excited to have the ability to take my mobility scooter with me (and the independence that gives me) and coming to terms with the fact this isn’t a short term thing anymore.

Trying to focus on the positives here. It’s not always as easy as it sounds.

#ChronicIllness #MentalHealth #Disability #Anxiety #SocialAnxiety #MyalgicEncephalomyelitis
#Fibromyaliga #OrthostaticHypotension #PosturalOrthostaticTachycardiaSyndrome #mobilitydevice #AmbulatoryWheelchairUser #ComingToTermsWithChronicIllness