cut

So a lot of things have happend to me in the past and I though I was strong. But until about 2 months ago. I can’t even go 4 days without keeping clean. Any suggestions. I’ve been seeing specialist and doctors and talking to people about it. They try to help but they just can’t. I’m to determine to cut. I have a perfect healthy baby girl who is 18 months old. If she wasn’t here I wouldn’t be either. She is my world and I’d love to stop so she doesn’t see the cuts and ask when she’s older. But I can’t stop and I’m too addicted. I don’t want to die. It’s just makes me feel pain. #Selfharm #Depression #Addiction #MentalHealth #cut

I have lived in quarantine for YEARS. When a cheater is caught, he took route mean as hell. 2 years to divorce, 3 years regarding children. I have been insulted beyond hurt.
Now adult children do everything with daddy.
Here’s my problem... I didn’t get ugly, cheat or alienate... and somehow ... he wins.

You know I came on here thinking it would make me better but today has been the worst day of my life everything in the past 3 months has came back and hit me all at one time. And I have no one to talk to, the only one I could talk to you was my wife and she don't talk back. I just piss her off. So now I feel into the old routine of listen to sad suicidal songs or just plane sad songs. And after reason so many peoples feelings and thoughts, I really didn't know how gratifying it was actually cut yourself. It's a feeling of where is sensation knowing you were still alive. it's not the pain that bothers you can stop the bleeding it bothers you it's the joy you get from it, so I really don't know where I'm going with this but I just thought I would throw this thought out see if anybody had an explanation for it.