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I Know What To Do! WHY Is It So Hard?

I went cold on a neighbor that moved away last October.. She was unbelievable and so toxic. Everyday she would show up at my house and I felt bad and let her in. Her children, grown, hate her and her husband had moved out of the bedroom almost a decade ago. She is a toxic lier! Telling her entire family she has MS and for 10 years she had everyone fooled she saw a doctor and was medicated. An emergency revealed she lied. The lies were enormous! So I felt bad for her because her husband filed for divorce, but he did catch her cheating when she got caught having sex with her married boss and they both got fired!
Here's my problem, number one, I'm a scapegoat, 2 I'm an empath and my heart is huge but I know I should not be talking with her at all and she just called after a year! She's almost homeless! And I know id never let her move in here but she needs my help. I did her divorce for her in 2022! And neglected myself!! I know I shouldn't answer the phone if she calls again!!! I know my new therapist would be very upset I decided to take 2 calls from her after a year! I'm mad at myself!! Do I answer again and explain again I need to take care of me, my husband and home or do I never answer again? I'm the daughter of a narcissistic mother and the scapegoat of the family. So you know where my heart is always at!! Thanks guys for your help!!! #Toxic #CPTSD #Anxiety #mood disorder #scapegoat #Childhood abuse #Bipolor #Daughter of a narcissistic mother

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Not Included

I’ve been dealing with some serious anxiety for a few days and couldnt put my finger on why. Like to the point where i have a big bag of reese’s on my bedside stand!

I check fb like 4 times a week to see what my dozen friends are doing. I saw a post from an Aunt talking about the reunion my family is having a few hours drive away. I was never notified, invited or included.

I can this statement as factual: my brother is so successful at scapegoating me, i’m no longer seen as a member of my own flesh&blood!

Im once again left speachless by the cruel actions by my own family members. This bs has been happening for so long, i have c-ptsd and depression. Tonight, im sad & need sleep!

If you have family around you, even when they drive you crazy; appreciate them fully. Give them hugs, say i love you, show appreciation & acceptance.

#gaslightening #scapegoat #CPTSD #Depression


Curious about work accommodations

Hi everyone! I’m writing today with questions about how you went about requesting a reasonable accommodation at your place of work. I recently started a new job and sort of thought I would be fine… but last Friday I had some kind of meltdown where I couldn’t stop crying for about 1 hour… I missed some of the training that we did, although not sure how important it was. And am wondering if I should talk to my supervisor, and if so what I should say? I don’t want to say too much…. And I don’t want to play the victim or feel that I’m asking for special treatment. I also don’t know if this will ever happen again? (Honestly it might) … but there’s no way to know. If you’ve had experience with this I’d really appreciate it if you drop a line about what you said and how your employer responded. Thanks in advance and hope everyone is off to a good start this Monday :) #CPTSD #IBS #GAD #narcrecovery #scapegoat


I’m new here

Hi everyone, I’m new here and have done an introduction on the mighty already but not on this specific group.

I’m writing tonight because I got a string of really angry text messages from my mom tonight that have me feeling a bit down and questioning my reality. Years of therapy have taught me about her narcissistic traits and I’ve been validated for the emotional abuse I’ve suffered from her. Therapists have explained to me the concept of scapegoating which I feel I relate to, but my mom is so invalidating that it makes me confused.

Anytime I try to talk to her about an issue to resolve or better understand something, she turns it back on me… blaming me for the exact thing that I’m bringing up. Is this gaslighting? Can anyone relate to this experience? I’m having a hard time understanding and feeling certain of where I stand at the moment. 😢 The blame and guilt trips (although they used to affect me wayyyy more) are painful and difficult to process.

I don’t want to play the victim here, and I don’t want to get stuck in that mentality. Ugh how do I fix this? 😓

#ComplexPTSD #narcabuse #EmotionalAbuse #confused #Gaslighting #scapegoat


Leave The Past In The Past? #scapegoat #NarcissisticAbuse #DysfunctionalFamily

I was just thinking about how, over the years, I would bring up a memory with a family member in hope that THIS time I would finally be heard and they would see what had been and continues to go on in this family. The response would usually be, "Why can't you just leave the past in the past?"

I JUST realized, my FAMILY members are my past; because, they are NEVER going to change, acknowledge, nor have any remorse and I am so PAST being abused. So, I will take my family member's advice to leave the past in the past and that's where they all will stay.

No contact has been a good thing; because, I realize now that when they kept saying, "Oh, you're SO negative," the reality is, I have never been a negative person. I was surrounded by negative people through whom I endured negative experiences and for which I had an appropriately negative response.

Since going no contact, my true, positive, silver lining seeking self is growing stronger and stronger every single day!

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It's Better To Be Alone Than To Be Abused By Anyone #codependent #CPTSD #NarcissisticAbuse #toxicfamily

Me with my dad 4 months before he passed away. I edited this photo today as a reminder of strength and discipline; because, "it's better to be alone than to be abused" by anyone.

Quote from the book, Codependent - Now What?

It’s Not You — It’s Your Programming by Lisa A. Romano

Book link:

#familymobbing #narcissisticadultchildren #scapegoat #DysfunctionalFamily

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Connecting the dots to triggering situations #triggers #Anxiety #HSP #Gaslighting #scapegoat #Discrimination #CPTSD

I attempted some banking last week which I’ve been procrastinating about.

I’m realizing I was not procrastinating to just avoid.

I’m just not knowledgeable, confident or comfortable about finances. This lack of confidence is because I easily get confused and overwhelmed with the financial industry’s system and jargon. (The cynic in me even somewhat believes that this is completely intentional to keep the majority of the population confused and uneducated to be more easily manipulated.)

So I have a small inheritance which I did not have the knowledge of my options. I asked family for suggestions. First mistake as not one of them helped. So months went by with me not taking any action at all.

Luckily I connected with a friend who by happenstance was in the process of gaining her financial advising certification. In passing I took the risk to share my lack comfort & knowledge & feeling paralyzed to even face my finances head on.

I have to mention the main and only reason I even took this risk was because this friend I reconnected with is a fellow HSP. On a completely intuitive level did we realize we had this in common. We related to many of the innate traits that come with being an HSP. She clarified what went wrong.

I would have had a complete meltdown with the experience I had at the bank this Saturday. My fear of those I think of as authority figures who can easily intimidate me to the point I can lose all sense of autonomy that I know my own mind. The situation which spanned from 9:30am - 2pm had me so overwhelmed. Most was over the phone and approx 1.5hrs in person at the bank.

As the miscommunications got so twisted and convoluted it slowly dawned on me that I was being treated with suspicion that I was doing something wrong. By the time I was dealing with the bank in person it was clearly becoming clear that I was being profiled and being discriminated against. They were systematically stalling and getting more and more cagey as to why my account was “under restrictions” I still do not know the whys other then someone at some point flagged my account.

Growing up in an emotionally dysfunctional family of origin where till this day I’m systematically made the scapegoat and gaslighted against on a regular basis. Today it now so obvious as to why the multiple triggers from Saturday’s experiences pretty much paralleled much of my family’s regular dynamic.

My opinion & concerns were being dismissed and based on whatever suspicions the bank associates were working with seemed I was tried and convicted of doing something wrong. I was again made the scapegoat who they had decided was somehow trying to do something illegal.

I was tried and convicted all because in my ignorance of opening a new account at a new bank, where I wanted to keep my small inheritance separate until I gained enough knowledge to decide what I wanted to do with it. This is one example of being percecuted based on ignorance. My innner child was scared & intimidated.


Schizophrenia VS Narcissism

For years I have battled with my Mother who has suffered long term effects trialling medication for bipolar schizophrenia that in large has proven negative effects specifically the incapability of thinking for oneself, incognizance of self, deluded reality, and the causal factors associated with mental illness itself. Here I struggle as an adult in my 30’s slowly concluding my own personal ideas and beliefs of psychological and emotional abuse. What has been tremendous effort trying to maintain some level of understanding and building a relationship with my mother I am yet disappointed by her crusade in creating divide between me and my half siblings, two older brothers and one sister to her first husband. In the past something as simple as a phone call to her, the conversation soon turns into her complaining then directs the focus to me “oh, your brother called me the other day, he was gossiping about you, so I told him to shut up, oh, I hope I did not upset you, did I? I am sorry darling you know you are my favourite; I want you to know that when I die you get everything in my house and assets, ok, the others will get nothing. I’m sorry darling but they don’t like you they told me”. Later when confronted of what she said she denies ever saying any of it. It dawned on me some years ago the persistent cruel intentions were heavy on the agenda, instinctively I have known some of the fact to be true as I am treated differently categorized as the ‘black sheep’ of the family and in this case have now completely rid of any means of contact. This of course results reaction and further manipulation demanding my attention via social media blackmail, emotional blackmail, endless voicemails and the list goes on. I do not particularly voice my thoughts aloud as in the past I have immediately been shut down so i write- a lot. My support system relies solely on therapists and close friends. Moving forward unscathed is utterly impossible.
#narcissism #Blacksheep #scapegoat #Brokenfamily


Nightmares from PTSD ?

Had a nightmare where I was being attacked by my brothers. Grew up in an extremely abuse house where I was severely scapegoated. #scapegoat #PTSD #severeabuse #postchildhoodabuse #significant childhood trauma