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Does it get easier, or do you get used to it 😫

Since my last post almost a month ago to date it hasn’t gotten any easier on me. I have made many mistakes. Learned from every single one ☝️ Put my heart ❤️ out there multiple times to always or almost always resulted in a breakup or having me being ghosted and blocked without any explanation whatsoever. When this happened me being a sensitive person I always took it to heart especially for what they all said to me @ the time. I made to believe all of it was true. Dating in this day and age seems nearly impossible, people don’t always seem to stick around anymore. Just when I think things are going perfect the outcomes usually the worst. I’ve lost who I am as a person, everyone says that I should just stay single and to work on bettering myself and to make myself happy for ME and only ME. But, as much as I agree 💯 with my wonderful support system it just sucks being alone. I tend to notice myself getting jealous of seeing people in happy, healthy relationships. I know that’s not healthy. The jealousy...but that’s what I want. To be with someone who wants to be with me and for one who’s going to stick around, who’s going to mean every word they say, and when they say it I actually believe it truly, to not be lead on & to not get my feelings hurt. Reading what I just wrote now doesn’t seem to be a reality, well as of right now @ least.

But with that being said I do need to work on myself. I swear ever since COVID-19 happened I haven’t been the same, and I’m pretty sure the other people who read my post would/will agree. I am still without a job, like most people I’m sure, but I’m headed in the right direction. I’ve been applying for a whole ton of jobs. Recently had a job interview. Just going to stay hopeful and positive that things will workout for me and for the rest of us who are struggling everyday! ❤️✨ #Breakups #heartbreak #COVID19 #Depression #LosingMyself #dailybattle #pleasegetbetter


#dailybattle #dailycheckin

Today is slightly better than yesterday regarding the productivity. I’m studying today. I gave my mom a hug. Did a small self care routine. Fed my cats. Unfollowed unnecessary profiles on instagram. Ate a lot tho 🤦🏻‍♀️. I’m feeling rather quiet or more precisely calm today. I hope the day continues to go well.



#52SmallThings I’ve been numb to my feelings lately I can’t feel anything . I can’t find happiness in things which are supposed to make me happy and I can’t feel sad at things which are supposed to make me feel sad, either. I can’t smile . It just doesn’t seem true. I’ve been procrastinating my studying. I haven’t gotten out of the house in quite a while. I barely-if ever- say a few words to my sisters and my parents. I barely talk to anyone actually.I haven’t been cutting frequently,though - which is a good thing? Idk really. Sometimes I just miss cutting so much . I really wanna be productive and stop procrastinating. I hope tomorrow will be a better day than today. I really hope so.



I handed my resignation in today at my current job. So it has been agreed that I have a shorter notice period and leave in a few weeks due to my struggles with #Anxiety . I’ve been there nearly 2 years and so it feels very surreal and overwhelming that I’m leaving. Part of me feels that my anxiety has taken over me again and therefore I cannot do my job. However thinking positively I worked with challenging children for nearly 2 years, and have done really well and made a positive impact on them for years to come. So I’ve done well really! Anxiety hasn’t beaten me, and I haven’t let it win, I’ve just decided that my well-being is more important and sometimes I just have to let go off the things that make it too difficult. Onto the next part of my life #Anxiety #dailybattle #Positivity