Journal writing #LosingMyself
It's like your master as soon you use it!! I got hook because I was told the only way to use it is by shooting up!! Yup, I was the stupid one to believe that (only to find out the difference ways in a few weeks after starting it ) I have been struggling with using this drugs and it was on and off for the first few months then I was into this heavy for the next few years !! In and out of detox then here I go again I would be going through something or someone that I use would get back on it !
It's control my life in Less than a year !! My life was out of control and prevention me to have a clear mind in a lot of of stuff !! It would take me to wrong place with the wrong group and unsafe place too
It's was like my life around that drug I had to be one step ahead were the next fix is were to go use it !! (Page 1)
I could say 100 that I wish I never got into this shit but me being stubborn I had to put up fight just for her to give in !! She warned me that she did not want to do this !! That it will literally destroy my life and control everything !! I did not listen to her warnings and just like that it got me into the trap and fuck yea it's hell on wheels to get off this shit!!
Let me say this Never ever shoot up if it's your first time there are more options to use this drug!! Cause if you do shoot up for the first you will get hook !!
I got into this drug from the start just because my dumd ass shoot up first time!! I have been tried to get off since 2015 !!
I have done my own research about this drugs how it's made the damage it's does to our body I have also learned it's hard to get off if we use the needles from day one and that it's just a snap of a finger that you could get hook and lose everything in front of you !!
Yes I got myself into that drug from the start I was hook on the high since day one ! It turn my life into a living nightmare,it was a maze of being ok then not !! It's slowly got to me in a negative way I started to hear see things that no one else saw !! I would go days without eating and at times with drinking very little it's was to that point I had to force myself to eat and drink It got were I was fighting with the devil itself ! It's made have outburst when withdrawing the angry too !!!
I was going through the worst grieving back in 2015 and the drug that I was using didn't do the trick !! So I fell into this drug :( I lost my ride or die my bff my little sis will she basically was one to murderer !!
This all I want to share with you and my caseworker my journals before I lost myself even more